I am a 29 straight single male and have been practicing SB for a couple of years and enjoy it a lot. I lead a very quite life and keep my sub side very private
But I am wanting to explore the punishment side of it more. I have a problem with following through on personal punishments and someone to punish me instead would be nice. Plus I feel that pretty much gone as far as I am willing to go in my SB without a partner, I have cut the path to fence but I have not mowed the lawn if that makes sense.
Being that I don't want those around me to know my secrets, the other thing is that wanting to explore these feelings I am not sure where to start.
what is the practicality of finding an internet mistress?
getting into the scene where do you start to explore?
How do you go about finding a mistress in general?
thanks for your help
wanting to explore
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bound_jenny
- Moderator
- Posts: 10268
- Joined: 09 Dec 2007, 12:37
- Location: Montreal, Canada, Great Kinky North
Re: wanting to explore
If you want to open up to others about your kink, seek out birds of a feather. Try a BDSM club, go to one of their munches, get acquainted, get familiar with their group dynamic, fit in, and let things go naturally. Don't force things, or look desperate. Go with the flow. Attend a play party as an observer, watch, learn; maybe someone will invite you for a short session.
And you won't have to worry about anyone else finding out because these people are close-knit, and don't blab about what goes on to just anyone. They also value their privacy.
Jenny.
And you won't have to worry about anyone else finding out because these people are close-knit, and don't blab about what goes on to just anyone. They also value their privacy.
Jenny.
Helplessness is a doorway to the innermost reaches of the soul.
If my corset isn't tight, it just isn't right!
Kink is the spice of life!
Come to the Dark Side - we have cookies!
If my corset isn't tight, it just isn't right!
Kink is the spice of life!
Come to the Dark Side - we have cookies!
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marylandsissy
- **
- Posts: 177
- Joined: 20 Nov 2009, 00:03
Re: wanting to explore
Discreation is key as is respect. A sub guy that was completely new to the group I belonged to came out to munches at first, then to meetings and eventually play parties. Long story short, he was eventually referred to a MAMA group that was nothing but Dommes. Happiest guy I ever knew.
For me it took longer since I was very picky. I was looking for a switch girl. I eventually found her, but not inside a BDSM group. It just happened. I am more dominant than her. No she does not know about my cross dressing and love of being tied up...............yet.
For me it took longer since I was very picky. I was looking for a switch girl. I eventually found her, but not inside a BDSM group. It just happened. I am more dominant than her. No she does not know about my cross dressing and love of being tied up...............yet.
Re: wanting to explore
echoing the above posts
in the UK, Munches are your first port of call. If you look on <www.informedconsent.co.uk> you'll find all the Munches listed. Like others, I stress these are NOT a place to pick up a date, Mistress or sub, though you may well meet one and things may develop over time. It takes a while for people to get to know you on a personal level, just as in 'nilla relationships. Munches vary in character, I have only experience of two, the one I now run, which is 'nilla dress code but a private room means we can be a bit more daring than those run entirely in the public view at a pub, and another which actively encourages fetish dress, even though it is held in a public area (a second bar). It was worth going just to see the expression on a young guy's face when I went to the main bar to get a beer, dressed in my leather skirt and heels *
Next in line are play-parties. These are much more play-orientated, you would be expected to at least make an effort to fit in, there may or may not be a dress-code. I've been going to one for about 9 months and met my sub/play-partner there. Certainly the best way to get real-life BDSM experience,as if the hosts are doing their job and you behave decently you will get some play. It is also a very safe environment as there are the hosts and "monitors" to keep an eye on play, to make sure there is no question of bad behaviour (ie non-consensual).
I don't have much experience of clubs, as my interest is in play and hate loud music!
IMHO an internet Mistress is a waste of time, unless there is some basis of personal interaction, ie, that you have met and know each other. But no doubt there will be people who disagree. I give my sub instructions occasionally, but that is usually to set up the framework for a play scene.
in the UK, Munches are your first port of call. If you look on <www.informedconsent.co.uk> you'll find all the Munches listed. Like others, I stress these are NOT a place to pick up a date, Mistress or sub, though you may well meet one and things may develop over time. It takes a while for people to get to know you on a personal level, just as in 'nilla relationships. Munches vary in character, I have only experience of two, the one I now run, which is 'nilla dress code but a private room means we can be a bit more daring than those run entirely in the public view at a pub, and another which actively encourages fetish dress, even though it is held in a public area (a second bar). It was worth going just to see the expression on a young guy's face when I went to the main bar to get a beer, dressed in my leather skirt and heels *
Next in line are play-parties. These are much more play-orientated, you would be expected to at least make an effort to fit in, there may or may not be a dress-code. I've been going to one for about 9 months and met my sub/play-partner there. Certainly the best way to get real-life BDSM experience,as if the hosts are doing their job and you behave decently you will get some play. It is also a very safe environment as there are the hosts and "monitors" to keep an eye on play, to make sure there is no question of bad behaviour (ie non-consensual).
I don't have much experience of clubs, as my interest is in play and hate loud music!
IMHO an internet Mistress is a waste of time, unless there is some basis of personal interaction, ie, that you have met and know each other. But no doubt there will be people who disagree. I give my sub instructions occasionally, but that is usually to set up the framework for a play scene.
be a switch, double the fun 
