Hello there. I'm a new poster, but been doing self-bondage since I was a teenager. I've done suspension bondage and hogties to myself with very good success. When I met my wife we had several vanilla bondage scenes together switching top/bottom, but she doesn't like doing the actual tying up part if she can avoid it. My fantasy scene would be to be put in strict bondage and strapped to something (can't budge, talk or see, with nipple clamps, ball stretching, ...) and forced to orgasm over and over again until she feels that I've had enough (hours worth). I've put myself in bondage before we had kids while she was out of the house and she came home to find me completely helpless and took over and really enjoyed it, so I'm wondering what I can do to set up some sort of scene other than me bound to a chair with a sign next to me saying "bet you can't make me cum 10 times" on it.
I know that this isn't really 100% self-bondage, but does anyone have any ideas?
Self-bondage, then wife has control
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bound_jenny
- Moderator
- Posts: 10268
- Joined: 09 Dec 2007, 12:37
- Location: Montreal, Canada, Great Kinky North
First, welcome to the forum! 
To pick up on xatm092's point, it is interesting that your wife enjoys playing with the finished product but shuns the manufacturing process...
It is possible that she may be uncomfortable with the possibility of hurting you while tying you up - though that would be a bit odd since your goal is to have some form of pain along with it... Have you had any sort of discussion with your wife on this, to find out what is blocking her?
If there is some reticence on her part, you could arrange to have her practice on you gradually, to get the feel of how it is, to get accustomed to doing it, so she gets some self-confidence through hands-on experience. As she gets more comfortable with tying you up, she can work up to stuff that is more uncomfortable on you.
Then again, I could be completely wrong about the whole thing and just being silly.
Jenny.
To pick up on xatm092's point, it is interesting that your wife enjoys playing with the finished product but shuns the manufacturing process...
It is possible that she may be uncomfortable with the possibility of hurting you while tying you up - though that would be a bit odd since your goal is to have some form of pain along with it... Have you had any sort of discussion with your wife on this, to find out what is blocking her?
If there is some reticence on her part, you could arrange to have her practice on you gradually, to get the feel of how it is, to get accustomed to doing it, so she gets some self-confidence through hands-on experience. As she gets more comfortable with tying you up, she can work up to stuff that is more uncomfortable on you.
Then again, I could be completely wrong about the whole thing and just being silly.
Jenny.
Helplessness is a doorway to the innermost reaches of the soul.
If my corset isn't tight, it just isn't right!
Kink is the spice of life!
Come to the Dark Side - we have cookies!
If my corset isn't tight, it just isn't right!
Kink is the spice of life!
Come to the Dark Side - we have cookies!
I can understand the situation Suspended is in. My wife enjoys having me bound, but avoids it because she doesn't like the binding process itself. We have discussed this in depth and it comes down to this:
For my wife, the process of being bound is simply a necessary evil to get the end result, a husband that can squirm all he wants, but can't do anything to avoid her... umm... attention. Because the bondage portion is note significant in her fantasies, she never really thinks about how to go about applying the bondage, she only knows what the end result should be. This leads to a rather negative impact, as she feels less interested if she needs to be overly concerned with an aspect that, quite simply, is not her cup of tea. She doesn't want to spend hours learning how to do perfect shibari or even simple ankle ties.
I have found that the solution is to tie myself up, as best I can, using her as my only possible release. Some times I require her assistance to apply the last piece of bondage, due to the position, but that isn't too much of an issue as everything else has been taken care of.
So, my recommendation to you is to do what I have done... talk it over with your wife. Ask her if the idea of "finding" a bound husband for her use and abuse is of interest. If so, talk about how you will do this. Between the two of you, I am sure you can come up with a system of where and when... leaving you just the how to figure out. With the MANY scenarios on the Bound Anna site and this forum, I think you will be busy for a very long time.
If you are interested in humiliation (not my thing really) I can offer you one thing that my wife will do with me when she is feeling particularly kinky and dominant: She will put a bunch of rope on the bed and "order" me to tie myself up in a most awkward way. All the while she is sitting there taunting me and telling me how horrible of a dominant I would make with how long it takes me to tie "someone" up. With the bright overhead light on and her stair, self bondage can be rather unnerving. In the end, I still enjoy those scenarios... but it isn't my fantasy (that is the give and take of a relationship that makes it work!).
I hope this advice, if you can count my ramblings as advice, helps some.
For my wife, the process of being bound is simply a necessary evil to get the end result, a husband that can squirm all he wants, but can't do anything to avoid her... umm... attention. Because the bondage portion is note significant in her fantasies, she never really thinks about how to go about applying the bondage, she only knows what the end result should be. This leads to a rather negative impact, as she feels less interested if she needs to be overly concerned with an aspect that, quite simply, is not her cup of tea. She doesn't want to spend hours learning how to do perfect shibari or even simple ankle ties.
I have found that the solution is to tie myself up, as best I can, using her as my only possible release. Some times I require her assistance to apply the last piece of bondage, due to the position, but that isn't too much of an issue as everything else has been taken care of.
So, my recommendation to you is to do what I have done... talk it over with your wife. Ask her if the idea of "finding" a bound husband for her use and abuse is of interest. If so, talk about how you will do this. Between the two of you, I am sure you can come up with a system of where and when... leaving you just the how to figure out. With the MANY scenarios on the Bound Anna site and this forum, I think you will be busy for a very long time.
If you are interested in humiliation (not my thing really) I can offer you one thing that my wife will do with me when she is feeling particularly kinky and dominant: She will put a bunch of rope on the bed and "order" me to tie myself up in a most awkward way. All the while she is sitting there taunting me and telling me how horrible of a dominant I would make with how long it takes me to tie "someone" up. With the bright overhead light on and her stair, self bondage can be rather unnerving. In the end, I still enjoy those scenarios... but it isn't my fantasy (that is the give and take of a relationship that makes it work!).
I hope this advice, if you can count my ramblings as advice, helps some.
-=| BRIAN |=-
"Je ne dors plus
Je te desire
Je veux aller au bout de mes fantasmes
Je sais que c'est interdit
Prends moi
Je suis a toi"
"Je ne dors plus
Je te desire
Je veux aller au bout de mes fantasmes
Je sais que c'est interdit
Prends moi
Je suis a toi"
brian said most about this topic already, suspend.
but consider yourself lucky, your wife likes to have a "squirming victim" and
is willing to indulge you, which is way more than most of the married male
members in here can say.
there are enuff scenarios on the main site you can adjust, so she just
has to put on the last finishing touches to make you her captive.
but consider yourself lucky, your wife likes to have a "squirming victim" and
is willing to indulge you, which is way more than most of the married male
members in here can say.
there are enuff scenarios on the main site you can adjust, so she just
has to put on the last finishing touches to make you her captive.
