Bondage is self bondage, with a partner?

[BDGBlue]

I have come up with a philosophical view point on bondage, and that is bondage is just self bondage with a partner. With self bondage, you tie yourself up and usually ensure you can release yourself when you want or in an emergency, or as some others do until their release method let's them free. But usually there is still an emergency method that could cause damage to flooring or items utilized as a last resort. Bondage on the other hand is quite the same I believe, because you will have your partner tie you up and you of course have a safe word to make it consensual, thus allowing you to speak said safe word at any time which means you have the control in both types of bondage. Now there are people who have their partner tie their self up and instruct them to not let them out before a set time, but in that regard that is just like the ice release or whatever release one uses. But they also have the safe word so if they don't actually want to be tied up the full amount of time they set they can use it and be release. Being tied up by someone else is quite the amazing experience, but this came to mind and I thought I would share it with you all and get other' viewpoints.

[Kinbaku]

With a partner you trust well, it can be different from self-bondage. Although the tied person is always the leader in charge, the partner can add any time. With self-bondage you always know approximately when you will be free, but if you know each other's limits your partner can suddenly take you an hour longer in bondage, or the partner can impose a punishment if you want to escape earlier.
The partner can also impose surprises that you cannot do with your own because you always know that in advance by self-bondage. For example, he locks you in a dark room using a combination padlock and every 15 minutes the light comes on for one minute with a timer, after which you must quickly enter the code to be released from your bondage. But he deliberately gives you the "wrong code" and then comes to free you himself after forty minutes.
Or the partner may present you with a predicament that you did not anticipate yourself.
Or if he knows that you are ticklish, start a tickle session for an indefinite period of time.
Just some thoughts from me.

[copperfox]

I agree, BDGBlue, as I’ve always thought of bondage with a partner this way as well. A lot of times, I’ll ask my wife to keep me tied up for some amount of time (half-hour, maybe an hour) after orgasm. But, of course, bondage isn’t as fun post-orgasm, so sometimes I’ll ask to be let out early…and, of course, she always let me out. Of course, I make a point of telling her beforehand not to listen to me (unless it’s an emergency)—but she always does…and, admittedly, I’m quite thankful at the time. So, as much fun as being bondage always is, the understanding that I can still be released anytime I want is always there.

My solution to this was to buy a time-lock safe several years back. It’s a heavy-duty fireproof safe, fitted with a spring-wound time lock that can be set anywhere from 30 minutes to roughly 12 hours. I can then get locked up and put the keys in the safe, which will only open once the set time has passed. There are two keys that will always open the safe as well, one is with a friend who lives a few minutes away and I put the other in a storage unit that can be accessed 24/7.

When I use this method, I don’t go full on hogtie or spread eagle, though. In case of an emergency (like a fire), I want to be able to at least hobble out of the house. Generally, I’ll go for handcuffs behind my back with a waist chain, ankle cuffs (which are connected with only a couple links between them), and a metal collar. I like to go with S&W high-security cuffs, as there’s no way for me to pick them, and unlike leather cuffs, I know that no amount of struggling will allow me to break free.

I used the safe just last night, in fact. Put on the handcuffs, set the safe to 12 hours, then had some romantic time. After that, I had no choice but to sleep in them until being able to access the key this morning. So, not being able to be released whenever I want just by asking definitely adds to the thrill for me…even if it’s just being stuck in handcuffs.

[KinkInSpace]

Actually, the opposite is true.

Bondage is not selfbondage, but with a partner, but rather, Selfbondage is bondage without a partner.

Why this distinction, you can do things in bondage play that you cannot do in selfbondage, but not the other way around.

[bound_jenny]

Actually, the opposite is true.

Bondage is not selfbondage, but with a partner, but rather, Selfbondage is bondage without a partner.

Why this distinction, you can do things in bondage play that you cannot do in selfbondage, but not the other way around.

Bingo.

Self-bondage is bondage. The self part just means no partner. Solo.

A partner adds some unpredictable factors that can spice things up considerably, and allows bondage that is truly and really inescapable except through the intervention of the partner. Of course, after the partner has his or her way with the bound subject.

A two-legged backup (human emergency release) is not an active participant and therefore not a partner.

Jenny.

[Lisahs3]

I think bondage is just that if you are on your own or with someone.
Personally I miss having a partner but when I do play on my own at least I know that I can enjoy my fantasy without someone else spoiling it for me or misunderstanding what I want. I can play as long as I like how I like whenever I like.
I do not need to feel completely tied up and unable to escape because my fantasy is whatever I want it to be so I can play as though I cannot escape and I can let myself out whenever I want too. I am always careful and test anything new I buy but I have not bought anything for a while now. The last things I bought were a pair of purple velvet Valero cuffs and matching ankles ones. Very cute and very comfortable. I love the way they feel and I can easily take them off myself.
For me my fantasy is mostly in my mind and anything I wear or use just helps that feeling. I am happy how I am

Lisa

[TNTBound]

i would say to an extent. there are ways i can restrain myself that no matter what i do, i would not be able to escape without help. there are also ways to be bound that i can not get myself into, let alone out of without another person. then there are things that i can do by myself that others consider to require another person to put them into.

how i see it, if you can not get yourself free by yourself no matter how you try, it is bondage. whether that be with only a time based escape mechanism, or with a partner controlling your bondage, or with you locking the final lock with no way to escape until your partner releases you, as you have no more say in how long you are restrained, at that point, it turns from self bondage into bondage.

[Shannon SteelSlave]

I have heard that there are degrees of self bondage, but I do think that there is little point in what I can "instant gratification" bondage, where you can free yourself at literally anytime, rather than waiting for a drop or completing a task.

[Riddle]

I have heard that there are degrees of self bondage, but I do think that there is little point in what I can "instant gratification" bondage, where you can free yourself at literally anytime, rather than waiting for a drop or completing a task.

In my opinion and experience, “instant gratification” bondage may have a significant point. My first real experience with it was soon after getting my medical restraints; the point was to get familiar with and accustomed to the cuffs. Recently, I did it again with a new toy in use and needed the ability for instant release depending upon how I tolerated the new toy. This was a good thing because I needed to stop the toy before it reached maximum intensity.

Self-bondage is an intensely personal experience and there are many other variables than just how inescapable it is. The positional intensity, stimulation intensity, and mental intensity are only a few examples of the other things that have different degrees. For all of the different aspects, the perceived intensity is much more important than the actual intensity. To each their own.

For example, of the many BDSM involved people who I have shown my medical restraints, the vast majority were repulsed by the security of them. Around half were willing to hold and inspect a cuff. Only a few were willing to place a cuff around their own wrist with the key in their possession. Exactly two people consented to being fully restrained. For some reason, these people felt comfortable with regular leather cuffs and rope, but seriously uncomfortable with my restraints.

Having said all that, I must admit that the point of more secure bondage is much easier to find, to feel, and to describe than the instant gratification scenes. My own bondage preference definitely goes heavily into secure and inescapable scenarios.

[Shannon SteelSlave]

I never said not to practice, especially with new toys

[Lisahs3]

I think that because fantasy and kink are such a personal thing it is different for everyone.
The only rule that is important is to be safe. Consensual when playing with a partner is also very important of course.

Lisa

[Gregovic]

I have heard that there are degrees of self bondage, but I do think that there is little point in what I can "instant gratification" bondage, where you can free yourself at literally anytime, rather than waiting for a drop or completing a task.

In my opinion and experience, “instant gratification” bondage may have a significant point. My first real experience with it was soon after getting my medical restraints; the point was to get familiar with and accustomed to the cuffs. Recently, I did it again with a new toy in use and needed the ability for instant release depending upon how I tolerated the new toy. This was a good thing because I needed to stop the toy before it reached maximum intensity.

Self-bondage is an intensely personal experience and there are many other variables than just how inescapable it is. The positional intensity, stimulation intensity, and mental intensity are only a few examples of the other things that have different degrees. For all of the different aspects, the perceived intensity is much more important than the actual intensity. To each their own.

For example, of the many BDSM involved people who I have shown my medical restraints, the vast majority were repulsed by the security of them. Around half were willing to hold and inspect a cuff. Only a few were willing to place a cuff around their own wrist with the key in their possession. Exactly two people consented to being fully restrained. For some reason, these people felt comfortable with regular leather cuffs and rope, but seriously uncomfortable with my restraints.

Having said all that, I must admit that the point of more secure bondage is much easier to find, to feel, and to describe than the instant gratification scenes. My own bondage preference definitely goes heavily into secure and inescapable scenarios.

What kind of medical restraints do you have? I've never found the segufix type all that intimidating. Absolutely very secure (and I love that) but not scary. The leather set of Humane Restraints I have is a bit more substantial but also very comfortable. Metal/steel is far more intimidating and scary to me. I can cut cotton webbing or leather off with good safety scissors if I have to in an emergency. Not so with steel

[Riddle]

I have heard that there are degrees of self bondage, but I do think that there is little point in what I can "instant gratification" bondage, where you can free yourself at literally anytime, rather than waiting for a drop or completing a task.

In my opinion and experience, “instant gratification” bondage may have a significant point. My first real experience with it was soon after getting my medical restraints; the point was to get familiar with and accustomed to the cuffs. Recently, I did it again with a new toy in use and needed the ability for instant release depending upon how I tolerated the new toy. This was a good thing because I needed to stop the toy before it reached maximum intensity.

Self-bondage is an intensely personal experience and there are many other variables than just how inescapable it is. The positional intensity, stimulation intensity, and mental intensity are only a few examples of the other things that have different degrees. For all of the different aspects, the perceived intensity is much more important than the actual intensity. To each their own.

For example, of the many BDSM involved people who I have shown my medical restraints, the vast majority were repulsed by the security of them. Around half were willing to hold and inspect a cuff. Only a few were willing to place a cuff around their own wrist with the key in their possession. Exactly two people consented to being fully restrained. For some reason, these people felt comfortable with regular leather cuffs and rope, but seriously uncomfortable with my restraints.

Having said all that, I must admit that the point of more secure bondage is much easier to find, to feel, and to describe than the instant gratification scenes. My own bondage preference definitely goes heavily into secure and inescapable scenarios.

What kind of medical restraints do you have? I've never found the segufix type all that intimidating. Absolutely very secure (and I love that) but not scary. The leather set of Humane Restraints I have is a bit more substantial but also very comfortable. Metal/steel is far more intimidating and scary to me. I can cut cotton webbing or leather off with good safety scissors if I have to in an emergency. Not so with steel

I have the locking poly Humane Restraints.

[Gregovic]

I have the locking poly Humane Restraints.

Huh, different strokes for different folks I guess. I don't find those very intimidating (atleast from pictures). The leather ones are very substantial but I really like them. Very comfortable and very secure.

[Riddle]

I have the locking poly Humane Restraints.

Huh, different strokes for different folks I guess. I don't find those very intimidating (atleast from pictures). The leather ones are very substantial but I really like them. Very comfortable and very secure.

I have been surprised by the reactions towards my restraints as well. How is inescapable rope bondage awesome and inescapable medical restraint bondage not awesome as well?