Your role in BDSM

KinkyMonkey · Post by **KinkyMonkey** » 26 Aug 2008, 16:51

I ran this poll because my friend insisted that everyone who liked bondage was the same. He said that everyone was gothic, unfriendly and enjoyed extreme pain. I strongly disagreed with this and now I want to prove it.

Post by **bound_jenny** » 26 Aug 2008, 19:44

I find it difficult to shoehorn myself into one of those categories.

In real life, I endeavor to be as polite, cultivated and kind as possible.

In BDSM and related domains, I am completely unpredictable. It all depends on the spur of the moment. I cannot say that I crave extreme scenarios. I prefer variety.

However, as time passes and I experience more in my explorations of bondage, I am realizing that I am a bit of a "painslut" in my moments. Sometimes an uncomfortable bondage position will really get me aroused, and I strain and struggle to get more out of it (that's what happened on Sunday morning...). Other times, I just want to be quiet and comfortable, unable to move, with the feeling of the ropes on my body to keep me company.

That and the occasional spider.

Jenny.

Amy_Tenchi · Post by **Amy_Tenchi** » 26 Aug 2008, 20:49

Oooh...comparison to outside the house to inside....

Truly, its like my extreme difference online vs off line.

I am traditionally a quiet person, that straight a-b little nerdy girl that went through high school with a few friends, some crazier than others, but all geeky in their own rights. I try WAY too hard to make everyone happy, and rarely care for myself.

When I play....all that little innocent-stuff goes flying out the window. My boyfriend is even shocked how dramatic the difference is. I always want everything about me, on me, either as the seme or uke (if playing with others) and pain almost always needs to be a factor. Makes the clock move oh so much slower....

I guess thats the one thing in common between the both worlds - i hate it when minutes feel like hours!

Nuclearo · Post by **Nuclearo** » 26 Aug 2008, 23:52

Yet another generally nice person who likes crazy/painful/weird (or as i like to call it "fun"

) bondage scenarios. I'm one of the classic 'you'd never guess' types. Well, maybe except the fem stuff

To me it's pretty nicely balanced: a whiny guy who likes everything happening his way without having to actually do anything in real life who wants to be a tortured sex slave, and made to do chores in women's clothes with his cock locked away in a chastity device.

If life is like a mathematical series in the end of it all I'm supposed to converge into a perfectly balanced zero

Dark_Lizerd · Post by **Dark_Lizerd** » 26 Aug 2008, 23:59

You may need to adjust your poll just a bit...

add: "I'm kind and friendly, and I'm not a fan more extreme play, but fantasise about it being rough"

Grinser · Post by **Grinser** » 27 Aug 2008, 01:58

Guess I represent the other side of the coin... I am not a very nice person most of the time, I tend to be unfriendly, arrogant and easy to enrage and when I have "vanilla" sex, I prefer rough and powerful to tender and cuddly. When playing though, I am very gentle and more into mind games and teasing than into whips and candle wax. I guess the knowledge that the sub has essentially placed their life in my hands kind of calms me down.

teh-ah-tim-eh · Post by **teh-ah-tim-eh** » 27 Aug 2008, 02:36

I'm a nerdy type but also quite hippy in my views on life and things around me...well i don't care about a thing really.

Fesselfan · Post by **Fesselfan** » 27 Aug 2008, 09:09

I am usually a calm, friendly person.
When I am playing, I am calm and friendly too...however, my subbe insists that the way I am calm and friendly then sends shivers down her spine

As a side note, and as a reply to the opening post...

This is one thing which always wondered me. Why should a sexual preference have much influence about how you are?

After all, "bondagers" are humans like everyone else, they just like ropes.
They come in all colors, deamenors, sizes etc.
I am an active BDSM player now for eight years, and in these years met many people in that "scene", from all paths of life. And they are all different.

Your friends perception seems to be the usual stereotype, perhaps coming from the way BDSM people are portraied in the media

Post by **bound_jenny** » 27 Aug 2008, 11:18

Fesselfan wrote:Your friends perception seems to be the usual stereotype, perhaps coming from the way BDSM people are portraied in the media

Agreed. The only time I ever saw any BDSM people portrayed in a sensitive manner on popular media was on CSI - Melinda Clarke as Lady Heather. It was shown that people who indulge in BDSM can be just regular people with feelings, desires, needs, strengths and weaknesses.

Come to think of it, CSI also portrayed transsexuals in a sensitive manner in one episode (I believe Sarah Buxton - a lovely lady in her own right - played a transsexual in there). They seem to make a habit of showing that no matter what one's choice in life is (or what one was born with), people are people.

You've got to respect that. A lot.

Jenny.

Fesselfan · Post by **Fesselfan** » 27 Aug 2008, 11:36

Perhaps the main problem - in the point of view of certain media- is that "normal" people engagin in BDSM is nothing spectacular, nothing you can point your finger at.

Let's speculate a bit...
if we see someone in a movie, do we know if that charackter is into BDSM "at home"? Mostly not, as it is not important to the story. It only becomes important if it's interwoven with the story, maybe in a crime or so.

Example:
Take danny ocean (george clooney) from oceans eleven. Do we get to know his sexual kinks? no. He may dislike blow-jobs. He may be into BDSM. We do not know.

Just my 2 cents

KinkyMonkey · Post by **KinkyMonkey** » 28 Aug 2008, 17:39

Oh I forgot to mention that I set this poll to expire after 7 days.

So if you want to vote, do so before next Tuesday (or Wednesday... i think...)

www.BoundAnna.com

Your role in BDSM

Which of these descriptions fits you best?

Your role in BDSM