Dilemma: to go or not to go?

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bdbgum
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Dilemma: to go or not to go?

Post by bdbgum »

I got tickets for a festival (Latin Music) in a couple of weeks, it runs for two nights during the weekend. However I also discovered there is a bdsm 'play' party going on nearby which I would love to attend.

But I can't be at both at the same time (no transport & taxi way too expensive here). It's a bit of a bummer since it would be an ideal excuse, because I still live at home and I don't want my parents to know anything about it.

Also I'm going one night with a couple of people (one who takes along her car) and the other night I'm going by myself (wrong night though... x) ). I could tell the people I'm going with now that I'm not going or going with someone else, then tell my parents I'm going with them. Only, those things (half-lies, secrets and stuff...) have a tendency of catching up with you. And that still doesn't solve the problem of transport (both activities are a long way from home...).

My mind says "just go to the festival"... but my hormones say "just go to the bdsm night"...

I know I have to take a decision for myself, but I just wanted to hear your opinions.
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bound_jenny
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Post by bound_jenny »

If you paid for the tickets to the festival, then go to the festival. That's obvious, but who knows. If the tickets were free, then your dilemma is still whole.

If the BDSM party is close to the festival, you could do both, and arrange to be at a meeting point with your friends to catch your ride back home.

You are correct in assuming that lies will eventually catch up with you. If you say that you went with your friends to the festival, when in reality you were off at the BDSM party, one day a casual conversation with your friends will reveal that you didn't go with them. Or the news will go the roundabout way to your parents' ears. The best lies are those that have no witnesses. That's a tough one.

I assume you have attained the age of majority - meaning that you are responsible for your own actions and decisions. I don't know what kind of agreement there is between you and your parents, but I suppose it has to do with the rules of the house while you're under their roof - which is reasonable.

I don't know how they view your activities outside the household. If they respect your privacy, then I suppose they would accept that better than if you lied - which is a betrayal of trust and parents take a very dim view of that.

Go by feel. But remember - your parents trust you and don't want to see that trust betrayed. That is far more important than any BDSM event.

Jenny.
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CristyCream
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Post by CristyCream »

Ok I am going to be the devil go to the party. Just don’t make the excuse too complex

well i blew off my College roommates for my 21st birthday so I could get girled up and dance all night in a rave club

party party party
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bdbgum
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Post by bdbgum »

Great advice, but I'm guessing you're estimating my younger than I am. Yup, I'm one of those 'live-with-parents-until-a-late-age' guys.

Yeah I paid but I could probably sell one of them pretty easily.

"I don't know what kind of agreement there is between you and your parents, but I suppose it has to do with the rules of the house while you're under their roof - which is reasonable. "

The point is that it's great and all, but there is actually little privacy here... big family and my mother is the curious type. I don't want her to find out about my 'hobby' because I know her well and I am sure that she would not take it well.

"Go by feel. But remember - your parents trust you and don't want to see that trust betrayed. That is far more important than any BDSM event."

That's true, but then again trust has to be mutual too. If I go somewhere I can be sure to get nagged with a bunch of questions... I guess I rebelled too little at a younger age.

I know I do not have to answer, but I'm pretty bad at lying especially since I made a commitment a couple of years ago to be as honest as practically possible (with everyone but especially family)!

I guess I'll just stick to the original plan: no bdsm meetings until somewhere next year; then I'm going to move into an apartment and then let the fun begin.

It still is annoying, but I guess in this case patience will pay.

bound_jenny wrote:If you paid for the tickets to the festival, then go to the festival. That's obvious, but who knows. If the tickets were free, then your dilemma is still whole.

If the BDSM party is close to the festival, you could do both, and arrange to be at a meeting point with your friends to catch your ride back home.

You are correct in assuming that lies will eventually catch up with you. If you say that you went with your friends to the festival, when in reality you were off at the BDSM party, one day a casual conversation with your friends will reveal that you didn't go with them. Or the news will go the roundabout way to your parents' ears. The best lies are those that have no witnesses. That's a tough one.

I assume you have attained the age of majority - meaning that you are responsible for your own actions and decisions. I don't know what kind of agreement there is between you and your parents, but I suppose it has to do with the rules of the house while you're under their roof - which is reasonable.

I don't know how they view your activities outside the household. If they respect your privacy, then I suppose they would accept that better than if you lied - which is a betrayal of trust and parents take a very dim view of that.

Go by feel. But remember - your parents trust you and don't want to see that trust betrayed. That is far more important than any BDSM event.

Jenny.
CristyCream wrote:Ok I am going to be the devil go to the party. Just don’t make the excuse too complex
Actually, I find that the best excuses are ones that:
a) are as close to the truth as possible
b) have no or few witnesses
c) are far away from the place you usually live

When younger, I used to make excuses a lot. Now that I'm older I don't (have to) make excuses that much anymore, but I make them smarter ;)
teh-ah-tim-eh
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Post by teh-ah-tim-eh »

Although festivals and the like really are my thing i'd love to go to one of these bondage parties, as i never really thought they exsisted. I'd love to go to one...but as only people here and my gf have any clue that i like it i doubt thats going to happen.

I'm pretty good at lying, and at one point used to do it all the time, not a good thing hense why i've pretty much stopped...but if i need to i can spin a convinsing story. And remember the details incase i'm quized later.
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