I'm doubting I'm doubting, always doubting.
I want to do more self-bondage, I want a Mistress, I want more of BDSM, I dream of it and it keeps me awake at night (well, sometimes).
But I still live at home and I cannot let my family know of it I am 100% positive they would not understand.
I keep telling myself I'll go to BDSM meeting in the country, but each time it arrives something gets in the way and I can't find good excuses to go. Or I'm afraid someone (with not so good intentions) will find out...
Sometimes I am frustrated because I can 'play' so seldom.
Sometimes I keep telling myself I would better give up the BDSM all around, but then I do a self-bondage again and it feels SO good and I'm back to square one...
I guess I will have to bear this while I am still living at home. But I wanted to ask other people if they've been between a rock and a hard place like this...
End of rant.
On the fence: anyone know what I'm talking about?
- bound_jenny
- Moderator
- Posts: 10268
- Joined: 09 Dec 2007, 12:37
- Location: Montreal, Canada, Great Kinky North
It's more or less the same for everyone who has discovered bondage and similar pursuits prior to the age of majority - it's always a pain to keep it secret, but still satisfy one's needs.
Giving it up will not make it go away. It is a part of you, rooted deep inside. One day, it will show up again. You'll see someone tied up on TV and something clicks in your head, and the urge is back. As the Borg say, resistance is futile.
The best approach is patience. Wait until you are independent, then you can indulge in your fantasies to your heart's content, or at least to the limit imposed by everyday responsibilities.
Do not give up. Don't give in to despair. Make plans. Set a goal and go for it. Once you get there, you won't regret it.
Jenny.
Giving it up will not make it go away. It is a part of you, rooted deep inside. One day, it will show up again. You'll see someone tied up on TV and something clicks in your head, and the urge is back. As the Borg say, resistance is futile.
The best approach is patience. Wait until you are independent, then you can indulge in your fantasies to your heart's content, or at least to the limit imposed by everyday responsibilities.
Do not give up. Don't give in to despair. Make plans. Set a goal and go for it. Once you get there, you won't regret it.
Jenny.
Helplessness is a doorway to the innermost reaches of the soul.
If my corset isn't tight, it just isn't right!
Kink is the spice of life!
Come to the Dark Side - we have cookies!
If my corset isn't tight, it just isn't right!
Kink is the spice of life!
Come to the Dark Side - we have cookies!
- CristyCream
- ***
- Posts: 241
- Joined: 15 Apr 2008, 23:04
- Location: New England
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