)"Again?" my wife exclaimed? "You know that bondage is your thing."
I hung my head a little, "I know, and I always appreciate how you indulge me by binding me." I did not want my proclivities to be a burden. I love my wife in every way, and we are just incredible as a team. She used to be more into bondage, but it was mostly just for my sake, and it does not really do much for her.
"How about this?" I stated, "I will tie myself up, and you just can set me free later?"
"I know you, and you always find some way to get out." She said. "Ok, I will go with this on one condition."
"I will tie you up today, and you can spend until dinner squirming around helpless." She said.
"...that sounds great to me" I replied, but I was hushed by a finger going over my lips, urging me to shush.
"After that," she continued, "you will have one week, until next Sunday, to devise a way to truly render yourself completely helpless all on your own."
I nodded, worried what consequences were coming.
"If you can successfully do that, we can continue the bondage games." She held the straitjacket up, allowing me to slip my arms through before tightening the back up. "And dear, I mean completely helpless, nothing can come loose, gagged, blindfolded, the works. Because if you get free in any way, no tie-ups for a month." She gave one strong tug on the crotch strap with the word 'month', I guess to drive it home. I opened my mouth to respond, to assure her, and thank her, and profess how much I love her, but a gag was quickly inserted and I was shoved face down on the bed. I was rolled onto my back and rope pulled my ankles up to my butt, leaving me in a frog tie with a straitjacket. She kissed my on the forehead and pulled a gag over my eyes. I listened in darkness and heard her sitting on her reading chair, only the sound of my breathing and her slowly leafing through pages could be heard.
"It is about 4 o'clock" she whispered, "Dinner will be ready at 7. Take this time to really think about my deal."
I lay there in silence, my mind focusing on slowing my breathing, letting intrusive thoughts drift away, as I slowly faded into subspace, letting the mindfulness of it set me at ease. I was safe, and unable to do much besides struggle or relax, and you can only struggle so much when you know you do not quite want to get out. I already knew what answer I would give her. All I need to do now is to figure out how to go about my planning to render myself immobile.
I spent the rest of the evening, bound and free, breaking my plan down into different parts. I would consider each aspect of bondage, and come up with a foolproof plan for each, they try and make it all work together. Here is what I came up with.
-Mouth: this one is pretty easy, as I have a harness ball gag. Impossible to remove without unbuckling, but the ball was squishy enough it would work for long term wear.
-Eyes: using the gag-harness as my guide, I modified a sleep mask to snap in place onto the head harness. Basic metal snaps, but completely effective, and by the time I was done, it looked like it was part of the design all along.
-Torso: A while back I had made a simple, but effective leather harness. It had straps going around my body, over my shoulders, and between my legs. All buckled at the back, and with multiple attachments to limbs to. To make it more secure I redid the buckles to be lockable.
-Legs: I considered just using cuffs rope to bind my legs together, but that would leave me with room to wiggle, worm-style, and I did not want to risk any chance at freedom. Using the last session as inspiration, I decided to go with a frog tie. I would use cuffs to bind my ankles together, and to the crotch straps. I was also going to apply cuffs over my knees, and connect them to my upper binds.
-Arms: for this I wanted to keep it simple, and easy to do, since I would be doing it all myself. Cuffs above the elbows, and at the wrists, I would lock those to the harness, so my arms would rest at my sides, hands by the hips, arms immovable.
-Hands: I almost didn't plan for them, but I really tried to think through my plan so far, and fingers always sometimes find some means of escape that you hadn't even considered. I sewed some thick mittens, enough room to wiggle my fingers, but not much else. These did not lock on, as that would be near impossible once my hands were in them. Instead they had nylon straps, with one way tighteners, sewn so they would only get as tight as would be snug, but comfortable, on my wrist. I attached the mittens to the harness, and attached the straps to each other, the length barely reaching.
-Clothes?: I considered going naked, but I sometimes get cold easily, and I would just feel more comfortable clothed. I considered looking for something sexy and form fitting, but I really wanted to consider my comfort. In the end I went with a pair of soft onesie pajamas I have. They are space themed, and zip up the front. Literally the most comfortable item of clothing I have worn, and it would cover all the skin that would have straps and cuffs touching me. Comfort
I spent the whole week considering different options, running them through in my head to try and find any flaws or weaknesses. I had the darndest time paying attention to anything much at work, spending most of my week balancing between getting some work done, and planning my complete self-bondage.
Luckily, Saturday, my lovely partner had plans with friends, so it was no trouble for me to perform a dry run. I planned to tie myself up nearly all the way, to test for any issues. to my wonderful surprise, everything went together really well. I ended up attaching the chains hooked to my upper-leg cuffs to the sides of my harness. I didn't pull it as tight as it would go, to prevent cramping, but tight enough that I was still helpless, but comfortable. I left the gag and blindfold off for now, as I knew those worked. I had the straps tight and cuffs locked in place. I slipped one hand in the mitten, this was the item that would guarantee my helplessness. Holding the other mitten, as if in place, I gently tugged on my left wrist, the tiny slack allowing just enough room to pull the strap tight, but not painful. I moved my fingers the small amount they could wiggle, and tried to grasp at buckles with the mittened hand, hooked to the harness. It was more useless than I had hoped, I could not grasp anything. I freed that hand, and did the same with the right side, also fully effective. As I lay on the bed, nearly tied up, I strongly considered throwing caution to the wind, putting both hands it at once and tightening the final strap to trap me. It took ALL of my willpower to not complete my bondage, and regretfully, I freed myself. Tomorrow was the big day, the real test, the challenge I accepted.
I slept fitfully that night, too excited and nervous about the upcoming fun. I had the whole morning setup to make everything as easy on my wife as I could; I wanted this to not be any sort of inconvenience to her. When she woke up I had a cappuccino ready for her, and her favorite breakfast prepared, served to her on a tray in bed. When she came out to the living room, her favorite sitcom was loaded up, We took the morning to get some things done we needed to, regular cleaning, errands, etc. I tried to do as much of it as I could, to make the day easier for her. I really wanted to give the best impression, to show her that this would be no issue for her, and all she needed to do was undo a couple of things at the end to set me free.
Lunch had been eaten, plates cleared, and trash disposed of; it was time.
"So, I guess I will go get started then?" I asked.
"Yes please do," she pleasantly smiled at me. "I will come check on you in about 15 minutes, and I expect you to be fully bound."
"Yes ma'am!" I said, dashing down the hall. I was out of my clothes and zipping up my onesie before the door even shut.
I started by putting all my cuffs one, both of my leg, and arm sets; locked on, of course. I then, slipped on the harness, and locked the buckles in back, all comfortably snug as practiced yesterday. I gathered the rest of my equipment, and hopped on the bed. I fixed up my legs, ankles pulled tight, connected to harness, and my knees were off to the sides, held in place by more locked chains. I strapped on my gag, snapping the blindfold in place, taking one last look over everything, and eying the keys across the room before sealing my world in darkness. The arms were easy enough to lock in place both upper arms, and wrists. Now for the final moment, where I would fully seal myself in bondage, leaving me helpless to the mercy of my wife, and when she would choose to release me. I slipped my hands in, and before I could reconsider, I gave both wrists the gentle tug that would tighten their straps, rendering my hands useless.
I had meant to look at the clock before I finished, to get an idea of the time, but in my hurry I forgot. I tested my limits, which were small, and I had done an amazing job at tying myself up. Time seemed to crawl, or fly by, I had no idea until I heard the gentle creak of our door.
"My my," she exclaimed, "you really have done a stellar job."
As she walked around commenting on, and examining my situation, I felt so embarrassed, humiliated, and helpless. I had been bound immobile around her before, plenty of times. This time however, she did not do it to me, I did it to myself. I had done self-bondage, the most effective self bondage, as I was totally, and beyond a doubt reliant on her good will, and love, as to when she would release me. She commented exactly what I had been thinking, "you know, in all of your excitement we never did say how long you had to try and escape."
I grunted as best I could, the thought both terrifying and comforting.
"And I do want you to actually try and escape. The best thing is that I know you so very well. I know that given time, you will want to find a way out, and I want to allow you the time to really give it your all."
Having check and tugged on all of my straps and locks, she kissed me on the gag.
"I am putting a baby monitor in here. I do not want to be bored all day sitting in her and so this way I can keep an eye on you, while doing my own thing."
'We never discussed how long!' I asked, but it only came out at "mmmphh!"
"I will be back in one hour sweety, try not to enjoy yourself too much" was the last thing I heard before the door shutting. A moment later some vague but pleasant ambient music came softly out of a Bluetooth speaker, a nice touch on her part.
I felt like many hours had passed by the time she came in to check on me. She removed the blindfold as the dim lights of the room hit my eyes.
"Hi sweetie, I watched your show, you really gave the struggle your all didn't you?" she asked.
I nodded as best I could, I really had, and I had made zero progress in doing anything more than tiring myself out.
"Well, so far it looks like you have completed the challenge, but I want to make sure you are properly motivated, I want you to REALLY give it your all," she said sternly. "I don't want to think that you might just be pretending to escape so that you can get tied up more." Following this, she traced her finger along various parts of my body, both tickling me, and getting me so very excited. Then she suddenly stopped, apparently just wanting to drive me wild.
"As I said before," she told me, "I want you to give it your everything, and I want you to hold nothing back in your struggle. I want you, for your sake, to get to the the point where you do not think you can take anymore, only to realize that you have no say in the matter and it will not end until I allow it to end,. All this, knowing it is what you want, and that you did it 100% to yourself. I do not want to break you, you will do that to yourself."
I let the words sink in, I had not intended it to go this far, but I think I secretly, terrifyingly hoped it would.
She continued, "As you give it your all I want you to remember that I know your limits, and I know how much they can be pushed. You want to be a submissive? your work will speak for itself."
"I am going to go have a nice glass of wine, put on a movie, and enjoy your show on the camera," she said, putting my blindfold back into place. "Oh honey, do not look worried, you and I both know that you are loving every torturous moment of this."
I was again left in darkness, alone, and immobilized on the bed. I was beginning to think this was enough, that I had proven I could tie myself up completely. As I tried again to test my limits, I was reassured how completely helpless I was. This was all my doing, I thought, why did I think this was a good idea, why can't I just enjoy 'normal' things. I was again lost in my thoughts, wondering how long I would be here, how I could have gotten myself into this situation, and if there was anyway I could get free.
While I loved being tied up like this, and especially the idea that I did this in a way to outsmart myself...I had gotten to the point that I wanted out, it had been a few hours. I tried to free my hands first, but of course since I had designed the mittens, they were perfectly suited to render my hands useless. I tried to see if there was some way I could free my arms, but I got nowhere. Even my legs remained stuck despite my struggle and pulling. After testing everything individually I decided that I wanted out. The constraint, the inability to move on my own free will, at this point was really starting to get to me. I needed to get out NOW!
I began to really thrash around at this point, I could not take it. I gave it my all, to the point that I was soon getting overheated and out of breath trying to get enough air through my nose ad around the gag. I needed out! I felt like I would freak out if I did not have any freedom. I tried to make as much noise as I could around the gag, to cry out to be released. I even attempted to move around the bed; I had no real goal or reason as to why that would aid my escape. Other than minor movements, I could not traverse across the bed.
When my wife entered and removed my blindfold, tears were rolling down either side of my face. I struggled hard then, mmmphed as much as I could, anything to communicate to her that I needed out.
As she wiped away my tears, giving me a look of both sympathy and care, she elaborated on the situation, "my sweet dear, do not cry. I am right here and you are safe."
I rested my struggled, giving her a pitiful look, begging, pleading for freedom.
"I will let you out of course, if that is what you really want?" she asked.
I nodded vigorously.
"But before you answer, I want you to really consider the situation, the consequences" she explained, "If I free you now, no tie ups for a month of any kind. No exceptions".
She continued, "I know you are struggling to handle this, and you are at your breaking point." (I felt I really was) "But, I also know that deep down you want this, you love this. You are not in control of your freedom, and that is scary. I love you, and you are safe and secure. Do you think you could handle one month without any play?"
I paused on that, because I NEEDED out, but also...this is exactly what I wanted. I wanted to push myself beyond the limit, to truly feel what it means to be a completely bound masochist. I shook my head no.
"You want to keep going?" she asked.
With a gulp, I nodded yes.
"Good" she said with a warm smile.
Before I could try to inquire more, or communicate anything, my blindfold was replaced and all was silent. Panic began to set in, and I resumed my struggles.
I then felt my wife's hand gently running through my hair (she knows I love that). "My dearest, you made your choice. Do try to enjoy it". I heard the door shut and knew that my fate was sealed. I had no idea of when my release might come, and it was completely my doing, my accepting that it continued.
I was not going to get out until I was let out, and at this point I had to accept it, because put simply...I had no choice. I reminded myself that this was not a bad thing, that this exact situation was one of my fantasies. My wife, despite not having the same penchant as me for bondage, encouraged and enabled me to fulfill a fantasy I created.
I decided the best way to 'get there', to the point beyond acceptance, was to get into a submissive mindset; a meditative subspace.
I then slowed my breathing, deep breaths with a slow exhale. To best appreciate it, I would strive to fully feel each bit of the bondage, one aspect at a time. I started at my head, eyes open, seeing blackness. I then focused on my mouth, how the gag pressed against my teeth, filled my mouth, and limited my tongue movement. I perceived each strap of the harness, how it pulled as I moved, and how the hugging aspect of it was a comfort, a reassurance to me of security and care. My fingers explored their limited space, feeling the soft fleece lining of the mittens. I tugged at my arms, feeling how they stayed snug against my body, and the comfortable position they were bound in. When I stretched my torso I could feel the pull at the crotch straps, the pressure both comforting in it's embrace, and exciting in it's placement. I gently pulled on my legs, but all that resulted in was a gently pull across my harness.
I was chained up good and tight, exactly how I imagined. It seemed that my deep consideration of any escape worked very well. I then realized that I was no longer panicking, no longer worried, and no longer needing to escape. Sure my muscles were starting to get stiff, and I was starting to need to relieve my bladder, but I was happy. Whatever anxiety had built up, was released; I had crossed over and was now fully sunk into subspace. I accepted my position, my bound state, and comfort in my wife's enabling my abnormal proclivities. My wife and I may not look at bondage in the same way, but in my snuggly bound position, I felt the love in her efforts to give me what I wanted...needed. She knew my limits, and out of affection, helped me get to a point where I was not just comfortable, but loved it. I meditated on all of this as I lay there, chained up, gagged, blindfolded, and helpless. I was in bound bliss, and I found release through my restraint.
I was unaware how much time passed when my wife gently touched my shoulder, bringing me out of my mindfulness.
"Welcome back baby," she whispered, "I saw you finally settled down and got into what looks like a very relaxed state. Were you able to enjoy your time?"
I nodded vigorously.
"I am so happy for you!" she exclaimed, as she released the straps that kept my hands trapped in the mittens. "Now, I have a nice hot bath all ready for you to loosen your muscles."
She started to walk out, leaving me to free myself, when I realize that I did not have any keys on me, they were still across the room.
"mmmphh" I yelled out, trying [and failing] to clap to get her attention.
She turned back to me and I pointed at the key ring to her. She covered up a giggle at the predicament, then graciously handed them to me. I mumbled a thank you through my gag and nodded my head to show my appreciation.
After a nice soak to loosen my stiff muscles, I cleaned up my toys, got dressed, and made my way to the living room. When I came out my wife had just the most lovely smile on her face. She held out a glass of wine for me and asked if I would like to go out for dinner.
On the way to the restaurant she asked me about my experience, and if I had a good time.
"Honestly," I replied, "it was pretty awesome."
"Oh yeah?" she asked teasingly, "you seemed a little worked up there for a while. It was kind of hot to watch."
"yeah" I replied sheepishly, "but once I got past that, I had the most meditative time."
"My masochistic meditative spouse" my wife giggled.
As we pulled into a parking spot she turned to me "So, I also really enjoyed my time."
"I love spending time with you," she continued, "but I didn't realize that I also missed time for myself."
As she opened the door to get out, she told me "you better start planning for your next session, I think this should be part of our weekly routine. We each have some personal time, kind of together."
"I love you so much!" was all I could say,
"You better," she jested, "you rely on me to let you out."
