Living with Others / Kink Closet

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ChaoticGoodRogue
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Living with Others / Kink Closet

Post by ChaoticGoodRogue »

Hey for those of you who live with other non-kinky people -

How do you arrange time to do your scenarios? Did you come out of the kink closet & say (more diplomatically) "Please don't mind if I build a trap for myself every now and then"? Do you wait for days where everyone happens to be out of the apartment / house and make the threat of discovery part of the fun? Is there a place outside of your living space that is sufficiently isolated to do sessions?

I want to do more scenarios - but eventually it will be hard to hide. Even if I tell the others in the house what I am doing, it still going to be awk doing a session when they can hear me. (I am aware that living with others is a safety feature tho)

Trying to figure out how to solve.
Jadit
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Re: Living with Others / Kink Closet

Post by Jadit »

There isn't much you can do for the random time table of other people's lives. The real solution is moving to a different apartment, or perhaps a hotel if you can afford such. The room service is a last resort backup there.
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Shannon SteelSlave
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Re: Living with Others / Kink Closet

Post by Shannon SteelSlave »

Easier to ask permission than forgiveness?..........I suggest telling your mates that you need an hour or 2 of private time each day. Try not to give an explanation. You can play music or recordings of video games from You Tube just loud enough during that time in your room. If anyone invades your space, then they are at fault, as you said you wanted private time.
A personal question, if I may. How is your fetish blossoming or even allowed to bloom with so many human distractions around? I mean, as a kid, I would still play with belts and ropes in my bunk bed with my sibling sleeping in the bed below, but I knew my games could go no further until I eventually got my own room.
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Lotharjulz
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Re: Living with Others / Kink Closet

Post by Lotharjulz »

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Last edited by Lotharjulz on 30 Jul 2023, 23:14, edited 1 time in total.
ChaoticGoodRogue
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Re: Living with Others / Kink Closet

Post by ChaoticGoodRogue »

Lotharjulz wrote:When I was in college I used to do a lot of sessions in my car (had a hatchback with plenty of space to struggle).
That's probably the solution. I would need to put a seat down to create more space (not as nice as hatchback) and rig some window blocks - but yeah that may be the best option for awhile.
Shannon SteelSlave wrote:Easier to ask permission than forgiveness?..........I suggest telling your mates that you need an hour or 2 of private time each day. Try not to give an explanation. You can play music or recordings of video games from You Tube just loud enough during that time in your room. If anyone invades your space, then they are at fault, as you said you wanted private time.
A personal question, if I may. How is your fetish blossoming or even allowed to bloom with so many human distractions around? I mean, as a kid, I would still play with belts and ropes in my bunk bed with my sibling sleeping in the bed below, but I knew my games could go no further until I eventually got my own room.
Yeah will prob have to occasionally ask for a block of private time when car not ideal option. Will get some odd looks but :/

As for how it is allowed to bloom . . . as a kid I would have weird fantasies around (usually messy) forfeits. (These could get very . . . intricate) Later, I got fascinated with Magic and Harry Houdini as an escape artist and Rogue became my favorite D&D subclass. Superhero fantasies of mine would often have escape scenes. But overall . . . I'm not sure I gave to much sign of being kinky. At some point in college I heard about BDSM (I mean . . . I must have had some vague idea it existed in high school) and got curious about it. That itself wasn't that odd, I go through cyclical obsessions over different things then change topics.

In 2019-2020 I watched almost all of Evie Lupine's videos (look her up on YouTube highly recommend). You know, just because its an interesting subculture / psychology thing. No ulterior motives. Really. :oops: Then I started to GM "Vampire the Masquerade" and I included a fictionalized version of the Black Thorn (dungeon in Oakland) as a feeding ground for the vampires. Evelyn, the vampire mistress of the Thorn (in the game world) quickly became a favorite of everyone. And I was just including the Thorn for realism. No ulterior motives. Really. :oops:

And eventually I admitted I was living vicariously through the Kinky vampires. Been finding pockets of play when people are out or are asleep. Have attended a Pet Play party at the (real) Black Thorn and am taking online kink classes now. Talked about kink with a psych (have autism / ocd which is why I have one) which was part of how I was able to accept my curiosity.
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Onixpected
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Re: Living with Others / Kink Closet

Post by Onixpected »

ChaoticGoodRogue wrote:Hey for those of you who live with other non-kinky people -

How do you arrange time to do your scenarios? Did you come out of the kink closet & say (more diplomatically) "Please don't mind if I build a trap for myself every now and then"? Do you wait for days where everyone happens to be out of the apartment / house and make the threat of discovery part of the fun? Is there a place outside of your living space that is sufficiently isolated to do sessions?

I want to do more scenarios - but eventually it will be hard to hide. Even if I tell the others in the house what I am doing, it still going to be awk doing a session when they can hear me. (I am aware that living with others is a safety feature tho)

Trying to figure out how to solve.
I still live at home with my family (in a few months I will graduate from Uni, so I will move out), and although it is amazing for the majority of the things, it is frustrating when it comes to selfbondage/crossdressing. I need to wait until for days that everyone is out so I have the opportunity to do my sessions. It happens a lot more now that I have less classes and I can stay at home. I know how much time my family is out, because I know what they are doing, so for example if I know I have a 3h gap alone, I do like to use 30 mins to prepare myself and the scenario and a up to 1h30 on it (depending which position it is). This way, I still have 1h left to spare to recompose myself and tidy everything up while listening to good music.

I almost got caught one time at night many years ago, when I was younger and still a beginner, but that never occurred again until recently when my mother decided to return home to get soemthing she had forgotten and she entered the house when I was still dressing up my regular clothes after my session...5 minutes earlier and she probably would catch me spreadeagled and gagged being vibed on my bed.

As a result, I don't have all the equipment I aim to have (not even close lol), but my house is very big so hiding ropes, tape and a couple of pantyhose is manageable. A couple of close calls occured when I was younger and naive, but my stuff never got discovered. The rest (gags, vibrator, blindfold etc...) I improvise with DIY stuff. As soon as I move out, my inventory will finally grow properly and my scenario routine will be much much more frequent. Explaining to my family about my fesishes and telling them I'm into bondage and crossdressing is completely out of equation, as they would never understand due to their mindset, so keeping that a secret is the way to go. As it is said: "For those who understand, no explanation is needed and for those who do not understand, no explanation is possible."
"Self-bondage is my way to relax."
"Bondage is about freeing your mind to experience something greater." :gag:
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whomadeangus
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Re: Living with Others / Kink Closet

Post by whomadeangus »

What do you do when your married. My wife is not into bondage and I love the feeling of being trapped so how do you approach it?!
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