Is it possible to stay excited after orgasm?

[Sandman]

When doing SB i am overwhelmed with excitement and joy, but as soon as i ejaculate, those emotions are literally gone in seconds and gets replaced by boredom and frustration. I know we guys have a refractory period which is basically a hormonal thing that turns off any sexual desire, but is it still possible to remain excited after orgasm? Does anyone else feel that your state of mind is altered after orgasm?
I would like replies from both men and women

[KinkInSpace]

First thought for an answer: Be a woman. LOL

For men, it is impossible, but there are some scientific studies around the subject.

Here's a list of facts I learned.

1. The more you ejaculate during the orgasm, the more you lose your excitement.
2. It is possible to perform kegel exercises to contain an orgasm in such way that you get the orgasm but not ejaculate or very little. If you are succesful, you get a sense of relief that comes with the orgasm but you don't lose your sex drive.
3. Edging can be used to enjoy the excitement upto a certain degree, but will not get you the same rewarded feeling as 1 or 2.
4. If you have not orgasmed for several weeks, one orgasm will not completely drain you, and as such, your sexual desire returns quicker. Could be 10 to 30 minutes.
5. If you have not orgasmed for several weeks and you contain your orgasm when it comes as best as possible, using external stimuli such as vibrators may push you over that edge and keep you going, but you will quickly build up to a second orgasm that you likely can't stop, and it will drain you further which is probably not what you want either.

For me personally, training kegel exercises have kept me from orgasming and continuing play, but I did learn that usually orgasms come early in stimulation, and if you can stay orgasm free for 30 minutes, usually after that time, it will be much easier and you can take more stimuli without orgasming. But ramping up the stimuli too quickly is hard to stop even then. So if you can control how fast the stimuli gets more and more, it is possible to enjoy the stimuli.

Lastly, orgasming comes from the mind. If you have real strong will, you can orgasm without ever touching your sex organs. It is the mind complex that gets real tired after the orgasm, which is why we lose interest so quickly. I'm not sure if woman also have this, or that its different for them. I suspect its different for them.

[Kinbaku]

A ruined orgasm can help you quickly get a craving for the next orgasm.
With my DG-lab and the right usage setting, I can go on edging for quite some time, just near orgasm, until I finally decide to have a real orgasm. The extra stimulation of my nipples is already sufficient.
Continuing to stimulate lightly after an orgasm can help, after a while the sense will grow back and you can stimulate again more strongly until your next orgasm.

[Sandman]

First thought for an answer: Be a woman. LOL

Lol, that so true

I remember a session i did a few months back. I had strapped myself to my bed using bed restraints from Segufix and a 10 hour timer with NO backup release. The belts covered my entire body and i had less than an inch of movement. I remember the excitement i felt when the final lock clicked in place and i had truly crossed the point of no return. I was extremely horny, but to such a degree that i couldn't hold back, and a blew my load just after a minute. My excitement and sex-drive disappeared in an instant and i realized that i had just locked myself down for TEN hours!

I quickly panicked and frantically checked all the belts and locks to see if i somehow could open them and undo the session entirely.

But no, all the belts where thoroughly fastened, and not a single lock would open. I had never felt more regret in my life and i tried every conceivable trick in the book to escape by squeezing my way out, or breaking open the locks. Or AT LEAST try to loosen a belt or two in such a way that i would gain slightly more movement. I struggled for over an hour without gaining a single inch of movement, and i was so exhausted that i collapsed and gave up entirely

I reluctantly had to accept that i was confined to my bed for the rest of the day

I was so frustrated and bored that i did maths equations in my head, and memorized the multiplication table just to let the time pass more quickly

So yeah, that's what a refractory period feels like

God, i was so relived when the timer finally released me.
But hey, i now know the multiplication table

[Kinbaku]

But hey, i now know the multiplication table

Next time (if you have the courage to repeat it) you can memorize the multiplication table of 3 digits by 3 digits. Then you can give a show of quick calculations on television.

[Lisahs3]

Well adding the female point of view I am not sure I would want to be strapped down to my bed for ten hours anyway.
Yes we can have more orgasms than you but after a few I get so sensitive down there that I just cannot bare to be touched in anyway.
I have been so sensitive that even putting on underwear can be a little uncomfortable. I think really I would only want two hours at the most and for any teasing or toy to be just ever so often like ten minutes rest between each orgasm.
Start off I could have like two or three one after the other that would be fun but then I would really want things to slow down. I have read how guys usually want to keep pushing us for more but honestly its really not fun, at least for me.
Some women might feel different than I do. I don't see many website that have women pushing other women past that point, I think the only one that pretended to do that was Bondage Orgasms. Most fetish and kinky videos and photographs are staged anyway, I read that from a producer once. Sorry I can't remember his name.

Lisa

[cerenaselfbound]

I agree with Lisahs3, every orgasm leads to a usually more sensitive one, & I guess the amount changes with each woman. I've never lost interest in being tied up & gagged but I have my limit when I just wouldn't be able to stand the sensitivity of another cum whereby it would be too much to handle. I've never actually counted the cum times but I know when the last one I'm able to withstand happens it's time to get free. I have had cumless sessions over the years but even that wouldn't be a decision to end the session, as I love to feel full with buttplug, dido, bud buzzer & sometimes nipple & labia clamps. All those maintain a good base level of stimulation whilst I'm wriggling & struggling & there's almost a certainty of multiple cums in that session.
Thing is, since working from home & I've done what I need to most days contain at least 2 SB sessions, but I don't do these just to cum, it's more of the feeling of getting into my fantasy zone.

[Lisahs3]

Thing is, since working from home & I've done what I need to most days contain at least 2 SB sessions, but I don't do these just to cum, it's more of the feeling of getting into my fantasy zone.

I have to confess I have done a lot more self bondage play since working from home. Normally I am lucky if I have the time to have one or two a week but some weeks I have at least dressed up sexy and if I am sitting at my desk working I have ankle cuffs on and even a gag sometimes. It depends if I have meetings then of course I am sensible and I don't indulge lol.
I also like to play just for the wonderful feeling of being tied up, I don't have to have an orgasm to enjoy my play times. There should be a lot less need to have an orgasm and just play for the fun and enjoyment of the moment. I love feeling sexy but I don't have to have sex.

Lisa

[KinkInSpace]

I can totally relate here. In fact, I have made a post, but the post itself is missing.

It was basically stating that me as male, if I't tie myself up for a 10 hour session, I would not be able to do that myself either. Just too boring. But I definitely do long sessions where I am forced to wear some sexy type of clothing. For example, I have a PU Leather bathing suit. Even though I am not into cross dressing at all, I just love how it feels on me. I will wear that under my regular clothes as a form of self bondage. Because it is very comfortable, yet the PU Leather feels slightly sweaty, it is a really good mix of doing something while no one but myself knows. It feels a bit like I'm bound. I have other types of clothes with similar ideas and a buttplug also is great if whatever I am doing allows for it (aka, I am at a place where I can take it out in case my butt says: nu-uh, no more...)

I've worn restraints under my clothes without being attached to anything for a longer period of time, and it is wonderful. I do tend to want to secure them together, and doing that definitely makes me more horny, but a chastity device really does help me in restraining my hornyness and as such I've come to enjoy my sessions far better than before. I can now enjoy it without orgasming.

[Sashauk]

...a chastity device really does help me in restraining my hornyness and as such I've come to enjoy my sessions far better than before. I can now enjoy it without orgasming.

I find that I can still orgasm whilst wearing a chastity cage. It definitely take a lot more stimulation to get there than if I'm not, but I can eventually reach climax if I try hard enough.

Wearing one should certainly make your long sessions more enjoyable.

[KinkInSpace]

...a chastity device really does help me in restraining my hornyness and as such I've come to enjoy my sessions far better than before. I can now enjoy it without orgasming.

I find that I can still orgasm whilst wearing a chastity cage. It definitely take a lot more stimulation to get there than if I'm not, but I can eventually reach climax if I try hard enough.

Wearing one should certainly make your long sessions more enjoyable.

Oh, I think you misunderstood me there.

Yes, I can definitely orgasm while being in chastity. Depending on what I do, it can be very easy to somewhat effort involved. That's not what I meant.

I mean that some sessions that are so horny where I can easily orgasm and need a lot of will power to stop me from jerking off or do something else... if I put on a chastity cage, I can tell myself: Nope, I'm in chastity now, not allowed to come, I can then set aside that urge to come and thus enjoy the session as it is. In some cases the session is still extremely pleasuring, which means that its still easy to come, but I know on beforehand when that happens, so I found out that if I bring the stimuli slowly to the table, it will not be so overwhelming that cumming is nearly inevitable. Instead, by doing it slowly and steadily, I can bring the stimuli to great heights. All I need to do is keep myself stimulated for 30 minutes and gradually increase the stimulation.

[Sashauk]

@KinkInSpace. Yes, I think I did misunderstand what you were alluding to regarding the chastity cage.

I agree that being in a cage does take away that urge to instantly gratify yourself when playing. I too find that when I'm having one of my dressing-up sessions being in a cage means I can enjoy the experience for a lot longer than I would if I were free.

[KinkInSpace]

Yes, exactly.

[AllieXBow]

I'm a trans woman who takes hormones and this is a very interesting topic. I've been on treatment for almost half a year, and a lot has changed. Basically HRT changes many secondary sexual characteristics and also known to change from male to female orgasms.

It's kind of changed a lot on my selfbondage. Before HRT, I was also addicted to bondage porn, and watched it everyday, and always ended in cumming of course. Same with selfbondage, I always manage to cum and when I'm done I want out instantly.

Now, I haven't cummed in the last 3 months or so, but actually enjoy bondage even more. It is more about the wonderful feeling now, than climaxing.

[Kinbaku]

Now, I haven't cummed in the last 3 months or so, but actually enjoy bondage even more. It is more about the wonderful feeling now, than climaxing.

The goal is not the end, but the route to it.
As a man, the end is usually also "the END"; you can make the route to it as long as you want (... within certain limits ).