Is it self-bondage if it is directed

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dsteve
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Is it self-bondage if it is directed

Post by dsteve »

I’ll have a question for you at the end of this but you will just have to wait to hear it.

I’ve been into bondage since I can remember. Even as a pre-teen, before I knew there was such a thing as sex I liked thinking about and playing with rope. So, I have a lot of experience with self bondage.

As I grew I started dating, but, like a lot of you (I suppose) I was too shy to ask for what I wanted. Later, I overcame my shyness and decided life was too short to go without real bondage. Not every woman I confessed to was willing but a few were and I finally found a soul mate. She became my wife and we have had a very rich life since. We both like both roles and take turns being sub and top. We have a lot of roles that we enjoy playing, but I have never lost my interest in self bondage. This is one way that she helps me have a self bondage fantasy in which she participates. I am going to tell the story of one incident.

It is after dinner. We have been playing around, teasing each other. She looks at me sternly and tells me to go and prepare the bed and myself. Knowing what this means, I go to the bedroom and get out our box of toys. I take the leather cuffs and attach the ankle set to the foot posts of the bed. Then the ankle cuffs are attached by threading the chain through eye bolts in the headboard of the bed. The cuffs are wide black leather straps, padded, and with very strong and secure buckles and D-rings. The D-rings are completed with a length of steel chain. I locked the ankle cuff chains to the foot of the bed in a position that I knew from experience that would leave me stretched but not in pain. The wrist cuffs were not yet locked.

Next I laid my hood on the bed. The hood is one of my favorite items. Soft, but very strong black leather, it laces down the back from the top of my head to my neck. There is an integral leather strap collar that buckles over the bottom of the lacing to keep fingers away from the knot and locks with a small padlock. When it is on, I can’t remove it even with free hands. Of course my hands will not be free for long. I also lay out some more toys that she likes to use on me (and that I enjoy having used). These include our vibrator, a flogger and a riding whip. These go on the dresser near the bed.I go to the living room and tell my wife that all is ready as she has commanded.

She stands up and says “show me”. I walk to the bedroom with her following. She looks things over and tells me to get on the bed. I get on the bed and she sits on the chair facing the bed. She tells me to buckle my ankles in the cuffs. As I said, the chains are already locked with just the right link to the eye bolt so that my legs are fully stretched. I get one buckled and then have to strain a bit to get the other. I look over to see that she has picked up the riding whip. She is looking very dominant, holding the whip, flexing it, tapping one palm while holding the base in her other hand. Somewhat frightening but also very hot.
She tosses me my hood and tells me to put it on. I pull it over my face and head. I make sure the breathing holes are correctly positioned and then start pulling the laces. I am feeling the leather settle in over my face with just the right amount of pressure all over. I carefully tie a bow knot at the base of my neck and buckle the collar strap. I rub my face, feeling the leather.

She tells me to buckle the wrist cuffs. I do so. Then, I lay back, feeding the chain through the eye bolts, listening to the links in the chain click as I stretch out, feeding the chain and letting it fall to the floor. I lay there for a moment, waiting. I feel the chain on one arm being tugged and hear the click of a padlock. Then the other arm is pulled taut, and I hear another padlock being snapped on. I tug on my bonds. I can barely move. I feel the padded leather at wrists and ankles. I try to roll, but can only manage a fraction of an inch. I relish the feel of the leather hood, caressing my face.

Then, nothing. She is gone. I know what this is. I will have to wait, for how long, I don’t know. What will be first when she returns; pleasure or pain. My cock gently stroked or my thighs whipped with the crop or the flogger.

So, here is the question: If she ordered me to do all this is it still self bondage? Whatever the answer, I enjoy it.
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Shannon SteelSlave
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Re: Is it self-bondage if it is directed

Post by Shannon SteelSlave »

I would say, that is for the courts to decide. But I have had my own fantasies that may materialize as a fictional story someday, about a computer that tells the sub what to do, and knows that it was done, like through a camera that "sees" you put on the cuffs, and then you are required to test the bond to satisfaction, by tugging, trying to fit fingers under it. If not satisfied, the computer would ask again. When satisfied with that bond, it provides instructions for the next bond. If it is unsatisfied 2 times in 1 bond, it would enforce compliance somehow. In the end, that in my opinion is self bondage. And possibly my favorite form of self bondage, as you ultimately did it to yourself.
Back to your question, maybe all but the last bond is self inflicted, but clearly the last 1 or 2 were partnered.
I think it is still, in general, a self bondage session, with implied enforcement.
Bondage is like a foreign film without subtitles. Only through sharing and practice can we hope to understand.
A Jedi uses bondage for knowledge and defense, never for attack.
I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T!....I, I mean S-M-A-R-T!
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dsteve
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Re: Is it self-bondage if it is directed

Post by dsteve »

self or not, it is very hot to have her telling me what to do. And her watching. All part of the submission. I have also had her make me tie my legs in an elaborate set of hitches and knots, all while she watches. Then have me roll over and let her tie my arms.
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Shannon SteelSlave
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Re: Is it self-bondage if it is directed

Post by Shannon SteelSlave »

All by threat of slapping. Do it, or she can do it....tighter, with corporal punishment as a bonus.
Bondage is like a foreign film without subtitles. Only through sharing and practice can we hope to understand.
A Jedi uses bondage for knowledge and defense, never for attack.
I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T!....I, I mean S-M-A-R-T!
👠👠
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dsteve
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Re: Is it self-bondage if it is directed

Post by dsteve »

I like your style
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pavtron
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Re: Is it self-bondage if it is directed

Post by pavtron »

dsteve wrote:So, here is the question: If she ordered me to do all this is it still self bondage? Whatever the answer, I enjoy it.
My first reaction: LUCKY!!! Your wife sounds amazing!

Given what you have shared I would say it's not SB.
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ArtificialAesthetics
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Re: Is it self-bondage if it is directed

Post by ArtificialAesthetics »

"Is it still self bondage"

Not unless its a robot doing it to you. Thats the closest thing to it.

Otherwise its just regular ol bondage, a luxury only people without an intense mistrust of the world can enjoy e-e
lj
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Re: Is it self-bondage if it is directed

Post by lj »

During a scene, the Top/Dom(me) is in charge, and whilst they may order the bottom/sub to restrain themeselves, the Top is directing the scene so this is not self-bondage.

Self-bondage is only self-bndage when you are both Top and bottom
be a switch, double the fun :-)
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Andrea Loves Bondage
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Re: Is it self-bondage if it is directed

Post by Andrea Loves Bondage »

Saw a video yesterday where a woman receives a package at her hotel room. In the package are a whole bunch of items, locks, and some instructions.

She first puts on a ball gag and padlocks it in place. Next instruction she tapes the key for that padlock on her palm and puts on an opera length glove. The she puts on a leather cuff and padlocks that in place, taping the keys in her other hand, and putting on the other glove. Each set of restraints covers the previous set of keys.

Not going to list each of the steps, but she ends up with keys taped to her feet, stockings on with ballet style thigh high boots. These are clamped by more restraints locked on, and then locked together at mid calf. Then she pulls up a panty girdle (just before locking the calf’s together) and hooks up the garters to the stockings.

Next comes a vibrator in a harness that is locked on with the business end pointed at her clitoris. She then starts the vibrator with the expected moaning. Not sure if there was a key for this lock (I don’t recall seeing it). Finally she closes a set of handcuffs with no key. After an agonizing time on the bed where she is wreathing, as she is clearly in a combination of ecstasy and pain, she finally gets up and hobbles over to an envelope that was attached to the box that she had left on the table, hoping that the keys for the handcuffs were inside (I assume that the instructions alluded to that), but instead there was just a note saying effectively “screw you”.

It was certainly directed by someone else, but she did all the work.
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qwerty212
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Re: Is it self-bondage if it is directed

Post by qwerty212 »

Drea Morgan does really good videos :hi:
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BoundInKasugai
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Re: Is it self-bondage if it is directed

Post by BoundInKasugai »

qwerty212 wrote:Drea Morgan does really good videos :hi:
Oh, yes! :love:
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Shannon SteelSlave
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Re: Is it self-bondage if it is directed

Post by Shannon SteelSlave »

BoundInKasugai wrote: Oh, yes! :love:
See, we do have emoji
Bondage is like a foreign film without subtitles. Only through sharing and practice can we hope to understand.
A Jedi uses bondage for knowledge and defense, never for attack.
I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T!....I, I mean S-M-A-R-T!
👠👠
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kinbaku
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Re: Is it self-bondage if it is directed

Post by kinbaku »

Shannon SteelSlave wrote:See, we do have emoji
emoji :?: Where :?: Oh, :o There :arrow: :love:
Now, I understand :idea: :mrgreen:
Sorry :facepalm: to interfere :!: :rofl:
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