Ever made yourself cry in SB?

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Imaginary_Girl
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Ever made yourself cry in SB?

Post by Imaginary_Girl »

So, I decided to make this thread after posting a story in my DIY whipping device thread. Basically, I like making myself cry. I like it a lot. Unfortunately that's pretty hard to do with just myself. It would be so much easier with another person. The main problem doing it solo is that not only do you have to receive and endure whatever painful stimuli is going on, you also have to administer it. I find this very much changes the way my mind approaches things. It prevents me from letting go and just letting it happen, feeling the sensations and... well enjoying it. Instead I'm focused on trying to get it right - hit the right place, find the right strength, whatever. And so yeah, it's a lot different.

But a few times I have been successful in making myself cry. It's always been when I was bound and the painful thing was out of my control(so my mind could just be submissive and not have to worry about the rest). My favorite time is the story I told in that other thread, I will repeat it here:

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Basically I selfbound myself in a hog tie on my bed. Attached to the arches of my feet were TENs pads, the wires went up my legs inside pantyhose(I always crossdress for SB) to the control box which was at my waist in the front. Everything was attached very well so I couldn't remove it, and the TENs was set on max power, 50hz, and then covered in tape so I couldn't change it. It was attached to a combination of a motion sensor and a wall timer.

Basically 30 minutes into the scene the timer switched on. This switched on a small light(so I would know when the motion sensor was active and I needed to stay still) and the sensor itself. So if I moved at this point, the motion sensor would turn the TENs on my feet on max power for 60 seconds. If you've ever had electricity hooked to your feet you know that is some serious pain.

Well, I stayed very still. Very still for about 15 minutes. But I was nervous. I didn't know exactly how bad it would hurt. So I was more afraid than I would be otherwise because of the unknown factor. I decided to purposefully trigger it so that I would know. It took me a few minutes to work up the courage, but when I did I made a big wiggle. The setup worked flawlessly - less than a second later the electricity started flowing to my feet. And it was way worse than I expected. Both of my legs contracted hard back against my binds and I immediately screamed in to my ball gag and bit down on it hard. I fought against my restraints pointlessly and I screamed til I was breathless. About 30 seconds in to it I started crying. When the 60 seconds was over I was left breathless, crying, and very scared to move.

Exactly what I wanted.

I stayed as still as I could from then on(the scene lasted 2.5 hours, 2 hours of which the sensor was enabled). Occasionally I would get an itch or something would start to go a bit numb and I'd try to adjust myself very slowly so as not to trigger it. Sometimes I got away with it, sometimes I got shocked again. One time it triggered randomly. I definitely didn't move that time, and it upset me so that I turned and faced the sensor and begged "But why? I didn't move!" When my keys finally fell, the finale took place. I had purposefully set it up so that I would HAVE to move and trigger it to get out of my restraints. I lay there for nearly 20 minutes after they fell, not wanting to endure what I had to. I knew I would basically be keeping it on constantly for several minutes as I got out. This delicious torment was exactly what I wanted when I planned the scene too. But eventually I worked up the courage and I let it shock me. It's VERY hard to undo locks behind your back when you are taking that kinda electricity into your feets XD

That remains one of my favorite SB scenes ever. Mainly because I cried a lot, and I just like that. I also had set up my phone to record that scene and I still have the recording. Watching myself cry and beg like that pleases me very much. I did a repeat of the scene again after that, this time with a vibrator also attached to me and set to tease me lots. I knew I would want to attempt to wiggle around and grind on it and try to get off. And of course that would get me zapped. Very delicious XD.
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Another time I made myself cry was one of my very first SB scenes. It was very simple - I was bound in a strict hogtie on my floor with a ballgag in my mouth. I had decided that for this scene I would wear clothespins on my nipples. So I attached those and then folded them down and wrapped tape around them holding them in place to my chest so I couldn't get them off. (Un)fortunately this scene ended up going a LOT longer than I thought. Back then I used ice which I've found is very unreliable. I had planned for 2 hours. It would end up going 5.

Anyway I didn't know that yet. So once I was secure and in the right frame of mind I started experimenting with resting my weight on the clothespins and causing them to pinch me more. It felt REALLY good and not even just in the masochistic way. So I kept doing that lots for the first hour. Unfortunately this gave my nipples quite the workout, and I didn't realize it yet but I had a long time to go.

After about an hour my nipples were sore enough that I stopped actively causing them more pain. But as time went on, they got sooooo painful. After about 4 hours I was literally staring up at my keys begging them to fall. Of course, ice doesn't respond to begging, so the scene continued. I started crying. I hated that I had done this to myself, I wanted out. Please let me out. I'll never do anything like this again!

I find that happens a lot. That I dislike something a lot when it's happening, but then in retrospect I very much like it. Once I finally did get out and freed my nipples from their tormenters, I fell straight into bed. I couldn't even masturbate to release the massive tension I had built up. I was totally and completely exhausted. And even that soon after - I was very pleased that I made myself cry.

The problem however is one of "How much?" Basically the only way I can achieve what I want(making myself cry) is for the painful stimuli to be out of my control. But there IS a point where it's too much. I may be a serious masochist, but there is a point where it crosses the line and even in retrospect it was not a positive experience. And it's very difficult to get that amount of stimuli right when it's out of everyone's control. Man, I so want a partner to play with :( But generally I wind up with the problem of "Not enough" rather than "Too much." The time with the TENs on my feet - I had never felt full power on my feet before. I had shocked my feet before with the TENs, but it HURTS and I had never gone up past 6. Without testing at all I purposefully set it to 8(max) that time. That's exactly why I was successful too. BTW my TENs unit is a very powerful one. And it's even more powerful than normal. Mine nominally takes a 9v battery but I modified it to run on mains power with a wall wart transformer. Said transformer is 12 volts so it gets a nice boost from that too.

Anyway so yeah, there you go. I really like making myself cry. I made this thread to see if anyone else has this same sort of interest, and if so, if you have any stories you'd like to share.
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Re: Ever made yourself cry in SB?

Post by KinkInSpace »

I have played with the thought myself, and even tried to do it, but just couldn't do it.

Either it hurts too much and I break off, or it doesn't hurt too much and I keep it on.

Then again, it has been a really long time ago when I cried from any injury and I've had severe injuries. I can only really cry if in the session other aspects are added, things I definitely cannot control on my own, such as someone telling me they will keep torturing me and that they don't care for my feelings and whether I can take it or not. They tell me they torture me because they like to see me being hurt. And they'll say stuff like stop whining.

They are things that probably will make me cry. I'd love to experience it too, but never will be able to do that to myself.

I do like a good spanking though and I have not been able to spank myself hard enough so that might be an option.
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Re: Ever made yourself cry in SB?

Post by Imaginary_Girl »

Slave_L wrote:I have played with the thought myself, and even tried to do it, but just couldn't do it.

Either it hurts too much and I break off, or it doesn't hurt too much and I keep it on.

Then again, it has been a really long time ago when I cried from any injury and I've had severe injuries. I can only really cry if in the session other aspects are added, things I definitely cannot control on my own, such as someone telling me they will keep torturing me and that they don't care for my feelings and whether I can take it or not. They tell me they torture me because they like to see me being hurt. And they'll say stuff like stop whining.

They are things that probably will make me cry. I'd love to experience it too, but never will be able to do that to myself.

I do like a good spanking though and I have not been able to spank myself hard enough so that might be an option.
Yeah, that is the inherent problem. If it hurts enough to make you cry, you can't willfully do it to yourself. If you can get away, you will. That's why it's only ever happened to me when I was bound. It's very hard to set up a scene like that because you get scared, I know. But I tell myself it's just pain, it's just transient. Even if it's the worst thing I've ever felt, it will be over in *insert x amount of hours that I want the scene to go* Nothing lasts forever.

It's VERY hard for me to cry and I hate that. Even outside of masochistic purposes, I mean just in general. I like crying because it always makes me feel so much better emotionally, but it takes soooo much to push me there. That's another one of the reasons I like making myself cry - once I start crying from pain I can sort of push my emotional pain out into that too.

Personally I don't like being spoken down to in this context. I know some do but it's just not my thing. I very much like my top(or imaginary top) to be caring, nice, encouraging. "You can do it, you're a good girl" and that sort of thing. Very much positive reinforcement, not negative. As I said before I'm a bit of a switch, though I've never had anyone to play with. But I do roleplay in my head a lot. And when I'm top that's how I act too. It's kind of a paradox - I want to cause pain to that person, but I also want to care for them. That's actually what I get out of sadism. I like encouraging the person to endure it, making them believe they can, showing them they can. Talking them through a very difficult experience. And when they do I like praising them and telling them how proud I am and stuff like that. That's the way I personally like it.

For me, crying from pain alone is pretty much impossible. What does it is a combination of things. Mainly the helplessness of being bound and unable to escape. When you are being caused pain, that helplessness very much becomes a sort of hopeless feeling. "It hurts sooo much. But I can't get away no matter how hard I try. I did this to myself. Why did I do this to myself? Please make it stop!" and so forth. I like that feeling. It's the closest I get to feel of being under someone elses control. I don't get to choose when it starts, when it stops, how much it hurts, etc. I gave up those choices. So even if it's more than I want, I have to take it. Even if I'm tired, or bored, or hurt, or horny, or whatever. I have no control. I have to experience it. That's the main draw of SB for me really - to make myself have experiences that I wouldn't willfully let happen. Experiences I wanna have but I'm afraid or are too intense and things like that.

But yeah, unfortunately it's pretty hard to set up. The times I've successfully made myself cry, I wasn't trying to. I was just planning really intense scenes, and they ended up being more intense than I thought. I wish it happened more often :(

And yeah, I like spanking too. I love it in fact. But it's another one of those things that's pretty hard to do to yourself effectively. And even if you do, it's not the same. You have to be consciously administering it to yourself which as I've said basically breaks that sort of submissive release of stuff that most of us enjoy. I don't want to have to think about smacking my butt, how hard, where, etc. I want to lay across someones lap, let go of everything and just feel what they want me to feel.
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Re: Ever made yourself cry in SB?

Post by Riddle »

Nope, never made myself cry in SB. Pain, injury, or anything else possible during bondage cannot bring me to tears. There have been times when I felt strong emotions during bondage, but never of the type to cause tears. Self-bondage allows me to fight against something, to struggle for control, and to allow a time for me to not be in control. Frustrations are allowed to vent and be replaced with a peaceful calm that only comes from yielding to the restraints. Bondage is my happy place. No tears there.
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Re: Ever made yourself cry in SB?

Post by Imaginary_Girl »

Riddle wrote:Nope, never made myself cry in SB. Pain, injury, or anything else possible during bondage cannot bring me to tears. There have been times when I felt strong emotions during bondage, but never of the type to cause tears. Self-bondage allows me to fight against something, to struggle for control, and to allow a time for me to not be in control. Frustrations are allowed to vent and be replaced with a peaceful calm that only comes from yielding to the restraints. Bondage is my happy place. No tears there.
It's my happy place too. I'm very much the type that feels completely free and at peace when I'm bound. I don't know for sure where that comes from, but I've a theory. I think my brain realizes that when I'm bound helpless... well I'm helpless. I can't do anything. So my brain just lets go of all the daily stress, things I need to do, things that need corrected, etc. None of it matters because none of it can be addressed. And I'm free. It's the freest and most peaceful that I ever get to feel. That's why sometimes I sleep bound, or sometimes I just wear restraints outside of a scene. I love that amazing feeling of peace it gives me. I remember seeing a quote sometime, I don't remember who said it. But it was "Some of us need to be bound to be truly free" or something to that effect. I find that is very true.

But something I think I should have pointed out more obviously in the OP is this - crying is a positive experience for me. Whether it happens in SB from something painful, or just happens in life because life is hard sometimes. It's always a positive experience. I feel soooo much better after I cry. So much tension and stress gets released in an incredibly effective way. Sometimes I will watch a specific movie or listen to a specific song to induce myself to cry for this reason. It's just a positive thing for me. This applies in SB too. The times I've cried, yeah it's because of pain and desperation and I can't get away. But as I said above, once I start crying from anything I kind of push all my feelings in to that. So even if I cry from a TENs unit shocking my feets, I can push my emotional pain and stress into that and get release.

There is more than that going on though. I do like it in sort of a kinky way as well, and I love watching videos of myself crying and struggling. It makes me very hot :D
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Re: Ever made yourself cry in SB?

Post by Old Timer »

I've never made myself cry in SB but I've noticed that sometimes I like to be tied up in painful positions. I noticed this after a particularly stressful week at work. Once the week was over I needed a release and felt the need to be tied up and make it hurt. Needless to say my SB therapy session worked as this week I'm feeling well adjusted and content.
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Re: Ever made yourself cry in SB?

Post by tigon »

Yes, our of worry and fear of being caught/stuck. Everybody was out of town, house to myself. I decided to do some self bondage. I had on a maids type dress, very short, thigh-high tights with garter, a leotard with a thick diaper underneath, and a butt plug vibrating away. I had a very secure gag on, and a pair of old style metal shackles, where you have to screw the key in for release (hands behind my back). I was playing a game of toss the keys off the deck into the back yard, which is kinda viewable to other back yards, but it was like 2am. I would then have to walk out the front door, around the house, and find the key, which had a bright red ribbon on it, still a challenge as it was dark. I had done it a few times already when suddenly I was unable to find it. I searched all over, even got a flashlight, maybe searched like this for an hour, diaper butt showing under the slutty maid costume, and I am sure the look went great with the pigtails I had put up with my long hair. I have up eventually as a neighbor's lights turned on and they would be able to see me search from their windows. In the end it came down to my using a rotary tool to cut through one of the links, behind my back, it took about 30 minutes and I burned myself a few times from the hot metal. Once I separated them I used a hammer and hitting the cuff enough popped it open. I was relieved, exhausted, sore, and tearful from the panick earlier of being stuck like that. Never did find the key.
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Re: Ever made yourself cry in SB?

Post by celine 13006 »

Yes, only once by the pain and the fear.
Hogtie on the bed, blindfoiles, the key to the handcuffs on the floor, nipple clamps tied to the bed, dildo in ass, vibrator in pussy.
The only way to reach the key was to fall to the ground, squirm until i reach the key to free myself.
I waited too long because the pleasure was intense and when I decided the game was over it was very (VERY) difficult for me to release my nipples.
The nipple clamps were embedded very deep in my breasts !!!
The nipple clamps hurt a lot and I knew the longer I waited the more it hurt and I also knew that the more I pulled on them the more they hurt.
I took my courage in both hands and I rolled onto the edge of the bed.
The horrible tension on my nipples kept me from falling.
I threw my back and I (finally) fell out of bed.
The pain was atrocious but I was finally free from these damn clamps.
I stood on the side for a long time, waiting to calm down, but the only thing I could do was cry softly, almost silently.
In the fall, I didn't know where I had fallen or in what direction.
I crawled until my forehead hit a wall and from there I was able to know where to go to take the key and finally free myself.
Very bad experience (or not).
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Re: Ever made yourself cry in SB?

Post by TNTBound »

only once. i have used tobasco sauce on my nipples before, and thinking it wasnt so bad, decided to put a bit on my balls and shaft. BIG mistake! it hurt so freakin bad! i was in the bathtub crying for about 20 minutes until it finally subsided. wont ever do that again!
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