Backup release? But...

[neo]

That "backup release" thing. The bit of text you tend to see on self-bondage sites and then skip over. ("Always have a backup method of release available").

It kind of offends the brain of a self bondage fan. "Yeah but I want to feel totally helpless, not just have a spare key next to my hand!". So I'm guessing there are probably some standard approaches...

1 - Ignore it and just use a single trusted release method.

2 - Use two separate versions of your trusted release at the same time.

3 - Use two different release methods.

Ok so version 1 is obviously risky. Version 2 seems much better, except if your first release got snagged somehow, what are the chances you made the same mistake with the second?

Version 3 might be better, if you have two reliable methods, not just one that's your favorite and one you added because it seemed like a good idea. Any release including the backup needs to be well planned. It's also a problem if an emergency happens before either of the timed releases kick in.

Anyway, I'm here to advocate the 4th solution! Actually using a surefire backup release method.

The release itself is (in my case) a key tied to a string several feet away from where I am. The key string then leads on from the key to a jam jar where it's tied around the neck. If I really need that key I can always pull the jar over and drag the key to me.

The tricky bit is the psychology part. Read on...

Imagine yourself tied up feeling uncomfortable, you really wish you hadn't added that extra knot, or inserted such a large... or you already had an orgasm and just want it to stop before the ice melts.

Now imagine yourself tied up when you think you smell a whiff of smoke and all of a sudden the smoke alarms throughout the house go off.

You need to make pulling that jar over seem so unapealling that in the first scenario, you put up with the discomfort, you wait the extra hour cursing yourself and wishing you hadn't made this scenario quite so harsh, and wishing the jar with the safety release wasn't so well placed. If the smoke alarms go off. Panic will hit you hard and fast enough to make you pull the string anyway.

So what works as a deterant? I've seen a suggestion to use a gallon of motor oil which will probably ruin the carpet forever which is probably a good one. My taste is to have the jar filled with water & ink (or even just a water based paint mix, and yes I have used machine oil) on a shelf just over my open box of prized bondage / kinky goodies.

Which brings me to the final part of these thoughts... Since the safety release system will almost certainly ruin your prized possessions / carpet, make sure it's not going to fall over with the slightest tug. Use a jar with a wide base and only fill it 3/4 full to keep the center of gravity low. Leave a little slack in the line, and wrap some tape or something round it that you can feel (or use a different kind of string / rope entirely) so you don't tug the wrong string by accident.

As an added bonus I've found I tend to check and re-check my primary release more thoroughly (and I still use two of them!) Weirdly, the thought of a slim chance of some freak accident doesn't have the same power as knowing I'll ruin years of kinky collectables if the releases don't work.

If you've chosen a sufficiently nasty safety release system, believe me, you still feel the finality of the last click.[/i][/list]

[bikymon]

I think a large bucket of ice water placed so that it will fall ON you would be a great deterrent. I would have to be in pretty big trouble to pull that cord!

[Munching]

So heres my thought on the situation, the chances of somthing bad happening like you house burning down or something as serrious as that are slim but happen. My feeling are when you they totaly helpless and you have an orgasm and want out completly ruins it for my, so what I do is if I need to use a second release it has nasty side affects.

Heres what I do, I have a butt plug with the key taped to the end (the outer end) and I always tie my hand away from reaching it and if I need it out I have to squeeze it out which is hard and painful but if you need to it can happen.

[neo]

At the risk of being big headed... Any chance you can make this one a sticky? I hate dishing out advice in other columns not knowing if people have really considered the basics...

[curious_sb]

Also if the house is burning anyway you wont give a monkeys about ruining your carpet or the bondage gear...

.....ok maybe the bondage gear

[LoRee]

The last two times I engaged in complicated self bondage I had what I thought be fool proof back up. The first was done in a hotel. Even if the place caught fire there was a better than good chance I would have gotten assistance getting out. Without my dignity perhaps, but I'd be alive. In the second case it was at a business during business hours. And although the shop I was in was closed, the shop on either side of me was open and the place has a private security system with motion sensors. If something like a fire broke out, the authorities would be notified of a presence in the shop where I was. Again the only casualty would be my dignity

[Cindy123]

I always use a fail safe release for all my sessions. I use a can of used motor oil sitting over my head, with the extra key inside and a string hanging within my reach, believe me you must be in real trouble to dump that all over you.
Cindy

[jake]

You've gotta make it sure its in your reach, I suggest tying the string to a finger on one of your hands, just to be perfectly sure, and make sure the string has lots of sag you you wont accidentally pull it, and make sure the string is strong enough not to snap.

[tyerrup]

I agree totally with xatm092. Because if it is a last resort release, it HAS to work. But, just pulling the bucket over and dumping the key out won't work if you are connected to the floor or ceiling or your bed or any other fixed object such that you can't physically get to the key. Obviously the key has to be able to come to you.

Also, since I live in an apartment, the motor oil idea is not going to work for me. No way am I losing my deposit over self-bondage!

SO, what fluid is nasty, yet able to be cleaned-up from carpet, etc. and is readily available? Your own urine! Now, I have never done this and don't plan to, but it makes sense to me. It is disgusting enough that you won't want to use it except as a last resort, yet it won't permanently stain anything if you can get free fast enough to clean it up right away.

Also, I am sure that if you're into it, it could be part of your self-bondage, meaning if it is a long self-bondage, that you are hooked up to a collection bottle for your urine and the bottle has a key in it and is set to spill on you if you have to use that key for a back-up release. So you kill two birds with one stone: you take care of the call of mother nature and have a failsafe backup that you won't want to use except in an emergency.

[curious_sb]

Also, since I live in an apartment, the motor oil idea is not going to work for me. No way am I losing my deposit over self-bondage!

I just wanted to pick up on one point there, the point was slightly missed here, in that the backup release should never really have to be used anyway, except say for instance life or death situations say if the house started burning and you still had an hour or so to go before your standard release kicks in. No one wants to die for their sport.

Although I see your point, in that motor oil, used motor oil that is, WILL permenantly ruin your carpet / floor, that was also really the point. It has to be something that makes you really think about using before you go for it.

Also, I am sure that if you're into it, it could be part of your self-bondage, meaning if it is a long self-bondage, that you are hooked up to a collection bottle for your urine and the bottle has a key in it and is set to spill on you if you have to use that key for a back-up release. So you kill two birds with one stone: you take care of the call of mother nature and have a failsafe backup that you won't want to use except in an emergency.

Urine is a good second choice anyway. This bit was a good idea for long sessions

[Cindy123]

I have done golden-showers in the past, so dumping pee on me is not that bad.
I use the used oil as a last resort, I have never had to use it, but if I did I would pay for new carpet and feel the money was well spent.
Cindy

[neo]

Ahh the psychology of the "jar full of liquid" safety system.

There's more to it than ruining the carpet. An example: The last few times I set up the safety release, it has been on nights where I have work the next day, and I don't have a tumble dryer. So I've just used a jar of water sat on top of all my work clothes for the next day. There's no practical way I could dry the whole lot out between midnight and the next morning, so I don't feel at all tempted to pull the safety. On the other hand, if my hands were turning a nasty blue colour, I could pull the safety without ruining the carpet.

Other times I've placed the jar of water over my "big box of bondage goodies". I'm not totally sure what's in the box at any one time, but I know it would be a major hassle to pick out all the soaking things, rescue the leather items, dry out the battery operated er things, and hang up all my kinky gear for a day or so to dry. So I've never pulled the safety.

It's down to personal aversion therapy. I find that just plain water over the wrong things does the trick. Like self bondage itself, I'd recommend starting with low risk set ups, and if you feel too tempted to pull the release, make it a little more tedious to clean up next time. The next step in the work clothes example would be to use a jar of urine or a light mix of water colour over the clothes. It should be possible to bundle it all in the washing machine and rescue it, but there's the added unknown risk of staining.

I'd still recommend any kind of easy safety backup rather than think "Motor oil on my carpet? No way!"

[curious_sb]

Nice to see you back on here for a while neo. I have to agree to disagree really, I see what you are saying (especially as you have no dryer) but I still cant help thinking "oh, its only water"....

[neo]

Hi again
Well, it's all in the mind of the lock clicker.

I feel just the same panic locking the final lock with the water set over something that I really don't want to deal with, that I did before I seriously thought through the dangers and had a safety release. No hang on. That ain't quite right. I actually prefer having the safety. I know I'm not going to have a panic attack after an hour, I can just relax and enjoy the bondage without worrying about making it to the graveyard early, sudden illness, burglary, leaving the cooker on, whatever it is my mind takes to worrying about eventually.

I think the test is how seriously you take clicking the last lock shut. If you have a safety release you really don't want to pull, you take it seriously. You get that lump in your throat and that "what have I done?" question when you hear the click. If you're not getting the same pleasure / fear factor, you need a more nasty safety release system.

Try a test. Get a large jar of water and open your box of bondage / kink goodies. Hold the jar right over the box. Now how much do you want to turn that jar over?

The whole point of the thread is the thing I'll keep bleating on about. "Have a safety release". If the thought of a jar of motor oil is stopping someone using a safety system, then don't use a jar of oil, use something else.

[curious_sb]

The whole point of the thread is the thing I'll keep bleating on about. "Have a safety release". If the thought of a jar of motor oil is stopping someone using a safety system, then don't use a jar of oil, use something else.

Yes I am behind you on that one. despite what I said earlier. My point was that the safety should be so awful that unless your about to die in some blazing house fire, you woud'nt want to ruin that carpet for the sake of getting out, and end up burning to death and still ruining the carpet , post-mortem, in the ensuing blaze.


However as neo rightly says, if you are not comfortable with oil, thats fine, use water, piss whatever, just so long as you have a safety availiable.

The whole point of the safety is that you should never really HAVE to use it, a bit like an insurance policy. Nobody likes paying into them, but its nice to know its there if you ever need it.