Seeking your advice

"Normal bondage" with a partner. Post here if your post do not fit the selfbondage threads.
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Pamelacd
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Seeking your advice

Post by Pamelacd »

First of all I will admit that I am a pansy woos when it comes to pain.
I am a 60plus crossdresser, submissive, sissy and when CD or in that head space, I am definately Bi-curious but generally only hold interest in other gurlie types /fembois.
My (pro) Mistress knows this and is easy on me compared to some subs (from details she has told me) but she also has other Crossdressers like me.
I want my limits pushed and although we have a safeword, I would not want to have to use it as it would kill the play. I want to be made to beg for her to stop so thought perhaps a 2nd safeword that would mean "an easing of play" rather than a stop, but with an unsavory or unpleasant forfeit for me daring to use said 2nd safeword.
My submissive side is only associated with my 'pamela' persona.
Any ideas anyone ?
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kinbaku
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Re: Seeking your advice

Post by kinbaku »

I don't know much about it, but a safe word for me is really stopping.
What is possible is that you will add gradations to the other words such as green = keep going, yellow = I'm at my limit, orange = I can hardly stand it anymore, red = STOP.
Then red is your safe word where it must be stopped, no discussions. That's why it's best to choose a short word for safe word.

Just my thought. :gag:
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Riddle
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Re: Seeking your advice

Post by Riddle »

I would also recommend the color code method for communicating how close you are to your limits.

Green: all good
Yellow: caution required
Orange: need to discuss your status in greater detail
Red: immediate and full stop
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Shannon SteelSlave
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Re: Seeking your advice

Post by Shannon SteelSlave »

I also recommend the traffic light system. Universally recognized by everyone. (Like Master Card)
Bondage is like a foreign film without subtitles. Only through sharing and practice can we hope to understand.
A Jedi uses bondage for knowledge and defense, never for attack.
I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T!....I, I mean S-M-A-R-T!
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Pamelacd
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Re: Seeking your advice

Post by Pamelacd »

I should perhaps explain our situation. We have no 'safeword' for green or go as not deemed necessary, she would just ask if I am o.k. & i'll either say so or nod if gagged.
We have a two syllabel word equal to /for "yellow" such that she stops and lets me settle down / catch my breath, then I can indicate to proceed.
We have another two syllabel word which if I say it 3 times in quick succession, things stop & I get released, if in bondage etc.

I'm thinking that we include another word equating to the "orange" that will give me a better chance to recover. It is me basically saying you have pushed my limits far enough or even too far and she needs to back off, BUT I am still wanting to continue in a lesser degree. BUT there is a consequence for using this new word, another form of punishment / a FORFEIT some form of humiliation or degredation ?
She is my Mistress, we are not a couple but I have known her for a long time and I have a love for her. I am her property.
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kinbaku
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Re: Seeking your advice

Post by kinbaku »

Pamelacd wrote:BUT there is a consequence for using this new word, another form of punishment / a FORFEIT some form of humiliation or degredation ?
What you can do after the recovery after your corresponding sign of Yellow or Orange is agree on a new codes for the begin of your further session.

For example, Green for continuing at a more moderate pace and this in turn can be stopped with Yellow or Orange and this can be up to
be repeated indefinitely.

But you can also say Dark Green and that gives your mistress permission to pull out all the stops and can only be stopped with Red. Since you both know each other, I'm sure your mistress knows how far she can push you to push you just over your limit and thereby give you a new experience.

So it becomes your decision on how you feel at the time, but once you go for the Dark Green you have to bear the consequences until you really can't take it anymore and go for Red which will immediately stop the session without that possibility to go even further.

However, I think your mistress can keep you on the edge of not using that safe word. Possibly by switching to something else: being a slave to her, standing still in the corner of the room, humiliation, 10 strokes on both buttocks with long or short intervals, ...
Lotharjulz
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Re: Seeking your advice

Post by Lotharjulz »

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Last edited by Lotharjulz on 30 Jul 2023, 23:28, edited 1 time in total.
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Shannon SteelSlave
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Re: Seeking your advice

Post by Shannon SteelSlave »

Well, I am now officially completely confused and will never engage in partnered BDSM. So what the heck, let's try WALK and DON'T WALK.
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Bondage is like a foreign film without subtitles. Only through sharing and practice can we hope to understand.
A Jedi uses bondage for knowledge and defense, never for attack.
I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T!....I, I mean S-M-A-R-T!
👠👠
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bound_jenny
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Re: Seeking your advice

Post by bound_jenny »

Basically, a safe word system is agreed to between the two participants before the session starts. It should be simple and easy to interpret - it shouldn't be a system that looks like it was concocted by a bureaucratic civil servant and requires a 700-page manual much like an income tax guide. :facepalm:

But if that floats your goat, that's fine. Just remember that someone's health and/or life might be in peril whilst you're perusing your 700-page manual looking for what the other partner is saying. Or what expenses you can deduct from your taxes.

Keep it simple. 1 or 0. On or off. Go or no-go. Damn it, even NASA uses that.

( just don't choose Betelgeuse uttered three times in succession :shock: )

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Lotharjulz
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Re: Seeking your advice

Post by Lotharjulz »

...
Last edited by Lotharjulz on 30 Jul 2023, 23:28, edited 2 times in total.
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Shannon SteelSlave
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Re: Seeking your advice

Post by Shannon SteelSlave »

You guys stay hyah,
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I go nyah
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Bondage is like a foreign film without subtitles. Only through sharing and practice can we hope to understand.
A Jedi uses bondage for knowledge and defense, never for attack.
I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T!....I, I mean S-M-A-R-T!
👠👠
TicleMeEndless
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Re: Seeking your advice

Post by TicleMeEndless »

I guess, your fear stops you to play harder. Maybe let your mistress to play a little harder and trust her to play with a gag and without safeword for one session? It's like going down a steep and fast water slide: scary to start and impossible to stop till the end. Do it once, get a week timeout for thinking and do again. After two sessions like that splitted by week you will get answer: playing harder it's yours or not. Important is amount of level increase. It must be a step or two up but not a big jump, or you guaranted get answer "no".
Not all dreams must come true. Choice with a cold mind. Be careful. Not crazy as me.
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