Being submissive vs being a slave

"Normal bondage" with a partner. Post here if your post do not fit the selfbondage threads.
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kinbaku
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Re: Being submissive vs being a slave

Post by kinbaku »

Lotharjulz wrote:Sadly I cannot find a good way to get an English transcript of this to listen for myself, however, in the comments there appears to be a flaw in the premise.

Also if I were to be public speaking about my lifestyle, my top would have me in chains everywhere including an interview.
Screenshot_20211012-231706_YouTube.jpg
Yes, heard it: At first she said she didn't use a safe word, but afterwards she mentioned orange light and red light - the standard for most BDSM sessions.

I suspect she only uses it when trying something new and unfamiliar. Under normal circumstances, she has only to obey. Something that gives her the complete freedom of not having to worry about what needs to be done.

The comments on the video were of a different nature. Ranging from "very nice for her" to "she urgently needs therapy".
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Shannon SteelSlave
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Re: Being submissive vs being a slave

Post by Shannon SteelSlave »

kinbaku wrote: The comments on the video were of a different nature. Ranging from "very nice for her" to "she urgently needs therapy".
Who doesn't need therapy?
Bondage is like a foreign film without subtitles. Only through sharing and practice can we hope to understand.
A Jedi uses bondage for knowledge and defense, never for attack.
I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T!....I, I mean S-M-A-R-T!
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Re: Being submissive vs being a slave

Post by Lotharjulz »

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Last edited by Lotharjulz on 30 Jul 2023, 23:13, edited 3 times in total.
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Shannon SteelSlave
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Re: Being submissive vs being a slave

Post by Shannon SteelSlave »

It only probably matters when someone gets hurt.
If the legal relationship (marriage, partnership, ect) is coming to an end, the trust dissolves and the slave should end it as well to prevent claims of abuse.
Failing that, the rules are between master and slave.
Bondage is like a foreign film without subtitles. Only through sharing and practice can we hope to understand.
A Jedi uses bondage for knowledge and defense, never for attack.
I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T!....I, I mean S-M-A-R-T!
👠👠
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Re: Being submissive vs being a slave

Post by Lotharjulz »

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Last edited by Lotharjulz on 30 Jul 2023, 23:13, edited 1 time in total.
OrgasmAlley
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Re: Being submissive vs being a slave

Post by OrgasmAlley »

I can personally confirm that the "submissive vs. slave" discussion has been going on since before the Internet was in its most basic form, and really lit up from there (although it died off quite a lot by the early 2000's). In my experience, these designations most commonly involve someone implicitly or explicitly claiming the term they don't use for themselves is somehow less good than the one they do. For example, those terming themselves a "slave" tend to be indicating that they are more serious about their submission than those who are "submissive".

From a literal perspective, slavery is defined by legal ownership and is outside the limits of consensual relationship (including BDSM). Rather, in kink people have used "slavery" to identify the more extreme end of a spectrum of power relationship... but it does belong in quotations. Whether a relationship involves submission -- an intentional power imbalance -- or not is a binary, and submissive and "slave" are not binary but general ranges on a continuum. No doubt some individuals are kinked to self-identify as a slave to a master. However, legally and in reality they are exactly as free to leave their relationship. "Slave" or not, people can build a relationship such that the difficulty to depart rises for one or both parties, but not using the mechanism of slavery.
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Re: Being submissive vs being a slave

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Last edited by Lotharjulz on 30 Jul 2023, 23:13, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Being submissive vs being a slave

Post by wayne »

I don't mind helping a person now and then. If the person I'm helping wants to add some bondage like have me wear shackles or have sertain clothing locked on me like a
dress or a skirtI wouldn't mind that at all. I find doing all sorts of things with bondage fun and exiting We could arrange for a camping trip and if someone were to ask if
they could lock a skirt and leg shackles on me for the whole trip, sure. I'le go for that. Let's leave the keys behind before I change my mind.
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Re: Being submissive vs being a slave

Post by TheBouncer »

Wouldn’t a bottom technically be a third category too.

That’s basically what I am. I don’t partake in the daily life to life activities of a slave or sub. I just enjoy the scene for what it is with boundaries before hand. Eventually your partner will try something new and from there on out it’s your responsibility to let them know if you like it or not. Communication is so key.

Hell, I finally found myself a rope top that has a partner that doesn’t like to practice it. So now I get to learn about it. I’m insanely excited and nervous as hell being tied up by another person :D
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Re: Being submissive vs being a slave

Post by hltied »

When i was 26, i had been in my first apartment for 2 years. It was on the third floor. The stairs went up to the top floor landing and i was on one side and across the way was one other apartment occupied by a single early 40's woman,Sue, who managed a half dozen women in her state government job. She had a nice face but was overweight. We developed a good older sister type friendship and she would occasionally bring over some of her cooking. There was enough trust to exchange keys for when the other was traveling.

My current girl friend was not showing much interest in bondage so i decided to try a different approach and take some nude photos of myself to see if the daring would excite her. Pictures were taken of me during college and i did not have any problem from it, so i approached Sue about using an old Polaroid Instant camera i had for me. i said i started to ask a guy friend but wanted pics that a woman would like. i did not mention any bondage. She had a big smile and agreed immediately but would need 30 minutes. i told her i would undress and wait for her.

In 30 minutes she took 10 pictures and obviously enjoyed herself so i decided to go for it and asked if she would take a few more after i locked myself in chains. Sue agreed saying she was curious. Once i was locked i asked her to pull the keys out the locks and hold them. Sue recognized immediately that she now had full control of me and quickly took more Polaroids before saying this was too good. She went back to her apartment and returned with her phone and began to order me into various poses. Sue said she would be calling me and expected prompt obedient responses.

Things had gone more or less as i expected but her immediate jump to near blackmail surprised me. i guess it should not have. i was not really worried that she would ruin my life as i had always been very nice to her but it put me into a situation that my humiliation needs wanted. Over the next year i would get a text or call telling me to get naked and come out of my apartment and lock my door behind me. The private top floor landing was a blessing. i then waited for her to open and let me in her place.

i usually thought of myself as her slave but i felt 90% sure i could end it without problems if necessary. That doubt made it exciting and fed my humiliation addiction. i also began to need her attention. i really needed to please her. Is this a hybrid situation and i was just submissive or did it cross over to slavery? Sorry for the long tale to get to the basic question.
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Shannon SteelSlave
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Re: Being submissive vs being a slave

Post by Shannon SteelSlave »

I have always thought of slavery as being a non-consensual exchange of labour or bidding, for little to no pay. Blackmail typically involves the withholding of information for money or favours. Submissive sounds like an unfair balance of power in a situation.
I think she just enjoyed having you at her beck and call, and you played into it. I would say it is a submissive situation, and if you felt 90% sure you could terminate it, then I would say semi consensual.
Bondage is like a foreign film without subtitles. Only through sharing and practice can we hope to understand.
A Jedi uses bondage for knowledge and defense, never for attack.
I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T!....I, I mean S-M-A-R-T!
👠👠
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Re: Being submissive vs being a slave

Post by hltied »

i think i agree. After a couple of months she spiced the situation by taking my padlock keys and having me keep the opened padlocks at my place. Then when Sue would call, i would lock myself naked and waddle out my door, lock it, and then wait for her to open her door. Many times i had to wait while people on the next floor down cleared out.

It wasn't unusual for Sue to let me back into my apartment still locked with hands in front and ankles locked each with 10 inches or so of chain between so i could function but not get dressed. She accumulated quite a collection of pictures. Sometimes i would be effectively kept caged and nude in my own apartment for an entire weekend while she could come and go at will. It was an interesting mixture of sub and slave feelings if not in total reality. In this case, i believe the benefits for both of us were very good. There were some very humiliating times and so the relationship worked for me.
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Re: Being submissive vs being a slave

Post by bounddosster »

wayne wrote: Let's leave the keys behind before I change my mind.

It was from some time ago but it made me laugh :rofl:
That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it.
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Re: Being submissive vs being a slave

Post by hltied »

As OA wrote above, the slave is owned and has no choice. It is a lifestyle.

As most of us mean it, the sub to slave definition is a continuum. And it is almost always some level of submission. my wife and i are exploring the continuum from the female led household relationship. Kim likes to be submissive in certain situations, but when it is us, she wants to be in control and i have agreed. She controls the bank accounts and my pay checks are direct deposited to her account. i do the house cleaning and yard work. Kim is far the better cook and enjoys it so i am the clean up crew. i have a list of chores and duties and assigned days each week to complete them and report to Kim.

Sex is when and how she wants it. i am often allowed to place myself in self bondage in chains. Some times i lay on the den floor and watch tv with her. If she orders, i like to kiss her feet. Other times i am given permission for self bondage but must spend the evening in the basement or the garage.

Kim keeps pushing the envelope and i am much closer to a slave than i ever imagined- we keep sliding down the scale. i am feeling many of the sub benefits of slavery while having a loving mistress. She has been very skillful in acquiring more power without me being aware until it is a done deal. i recommend FLR whenever the conditiions are right.
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Re: Being submissive vs being a slave

Post by wayne »

bounddosster wrote:
wayne wrote: Let's leave the keys behind before I change my mind.

It was from some time ago but it made me laugh :rofl:
I loved magic as a kid and found houdini most fascinating. That's what got me interested in condage.
Slaves are forced into the situation bound in chains and put to work.
Submissives would go along with the dominant person with consent.
I tend to find helping out a person wile having a little bondage a little fun and exiting,
especially when I decide I want to wear shackles and another person keeps the key.
One Summer, I asked to be locked in my own shorts while helping with yard work.
The person gladly agreed and got a padlock and hooked it through the front belt loops
and clicked it shut. Now I was really stuck in those shorts but that was okay. I could have gone
all day like this. It was fun. Just think if I could get someone to lock a skirt and shackles on me and keep the keys.
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