Relationship with more than 2

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Relationship with more than 2

Postby Lotharjulz » 22 Jun 2022, 15:05

I have been in a committed monogamous relationship for decade and generally only have had that type.

So after being caught by our maid (who turns out to be more of a sub) and my partner surprisingly wanting to explore that a little at first , and me getting hit on by another woman in a bar (who is a Dom apparently) recently while with my partner present who then started flirting a little with her back I'm starting to get a little nervous.

I'm feeling like I'm inadequate now to satisfy my partners needs and they are looking elsewhere. We had a discussion about the maid situation that we weren't interested in pursuing it farther and yet there are still talks about it arising (my partner claims the maid brought it up again).

Should I just go with the flow to avoid losing everything or should I take a stand and pray that doesn't break it up? Is there something I can be doing more to keep thing's interesting (role play ideas or otherwise?) I really just liked what I have but this seems to be changing out from under me. Maybe im just paranoid?

We have played with others on occasion when out and about at events, but this is the first time it has been insinuated to bring this "home". I do enjoy the variety one in a while, but this seems deeper than that.

Anyone can share real life experience with DD/s or D/ss?
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Re: Relationship with more than 1

Postby Gregovic » 22 Jun 2022, 15:20

Lotharjulz wrote:I have been in a committed monogamous relationship for decade and generally only have had that type.

So after being caught by our maid (who turns out to be more of a sub) and my partner surprisingly wanting to explore that a little at first , and me getting hit on by another woman in a bar (who is a Dom apparently) recently while with my partner present who then started flirting a little with her back I'm starting to get a little nervous.

I'm feeling like I'm inadequate now to satisfy my partners needs and they are looking elsewhere. We had a discussion about the maid situation that we weren't interested in pursuing it farther and yet there are still talks about it arising (my partner claims the maid brought it up again).

Should I just go with the flow to avoid losing everything or should I take a stand and pray that doesn't break it up? Is there something I can be doing more to keep thing's interesting (role play ideas or otherwise?) I really just liked what I have but this seems to be changing out from under me. Maybe im just paranoid?

We have played with others on occasion when out and about at events, but this is the first time it has been insinuated to bring this "home". I do enjoy the variety one in a while, but this seems deeper than that.


Say nothing and hope for the best is imho most definitely not the best option. You might just be paranoid or the encounter with the maid might have given your partner new ideas he never had before. These might very all involve idea that he thinks could make things more interesting for you or his curiosity might have simply been piqued on new options. My opinion (though I don't know how much weight you should put on it as I'm a man in his mid 30s who's never had a relationship with a female past being friends) the most important thing you can have in a relationship is communication. Share these feelings and thoughts with your partner. He's the only one that in the end can tell you exactly what his thinking is and what his desires or wants are.

I can understand not wanting to blow up the relationship you have, but given your other posts I very much doubt you stating your fears and desires about these things I also very much doubt it would be the single thing that ends the whole thing.
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Re: Relationship with more than 1

Postby Lotharjulz » 23 Jun 2022, 13:32

Gregovic wrote:I can understand not wanting to blow up the relationship you have, but given your other posts I very much doubt you stating your fears and desires about these things I also very much doubt it would be the single thing that ends the whole thing.


Well this is where things are difficult for me: Due to my current situation for the past decade, I live in my desires 50% of the time and reality 50% of the time. Its hard to know who I am and what I want.

The real practical me:
1. Love the safety of status quo indulging in #3
2. Have to protect my career from my kink being exposed

The desires of me
3. Wants to be a pet in bondage full time to someone else. Losing all control
4. Would like to explore polyamorous relationships

Fears:
- My partner is bored with me and is looking to end the relationship for someone else. #1
- My partner wants polyamorous or involving someone else #2

I may be able to overcome #2 but #1 may be in jeopardy if poly turns into a breakup eventually. This is where I am looking for advice and experience as I dont know if that is sustainable.
Last edited by Lotharjulz on 23 Jun 2022, 13:35, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Relationship with more than 2

Postby Shannon SteelSlave » 23 Jun 2022, 13:35

From what I have heard, poly is a stop gap to relationship end. By either party, from either party.
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Re: Relationship with more than 2

Postby Lotharjulz » 23 Jun 2022, 13:47

Shannon SteelSlave wrote:From what I have heard, poly is a stop gap to relationship end. By either party, from either party.


I generally hear the same thing. I am very happy with my status quo, however, the fact my partner is exploring this leads me to believe they are bored or dont like me as much as they used to. If they are bored am wondering if role play or something would help. I have never been a role play type of person (to someone elses liking) so I am a novice in this capacity but am willing to learn more if someone has a good reference.
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