Is chastity for real?

Chastity is perhaps the ultimate in long term selfbondage.
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sweetwendy
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Is chastity for real?

Post by sweetwendy »

My boyfriend asked me about my thoughts on chastity devices. Nof ro me but for him.
I did some research on the internet and ended up at this site. And her are my thoughts.
(1) Is masturbation a real problem? And is a chastity device, rather than abstinence, the real solution?
(2) Are chastity devices effective? I agree that the full belts would be, but what about the cages?
(3) They come in two types, I see. But the ones where you have a solid ring seem to me to be useless. Anything that can be stuffed in can be pulled out.
(4) Does this mean that those who want to use that type of device find it symbolic rather than secure. They COULD get out but just choose not to.
(5) The hinged rings would appear to be more secure, but some offer rings as much as two inches. Are there men that are really that big? (I measured the b.f. and he is 1.6 inches.)
(6) Are those who claimed to have been locked up for weeks or months or longer telling the truth? Or are they trying to impress?
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Re: Is chastity for real?

Post by lj »

So many questions !

OK, get a custom-sized device and, yes, they prevent erection and consequently orgasm and release is almost impossible, and if possible, getting back in is very difficult.

Why do it ? It is, for me, part of our D/s relationship. I do not wear mine all the time, I am trusted not to wank, but if My Lady wishes, I am locked in for a time of her choosing. It is a way of reinforcing our D/s.

I have been locked in mine for two weeks. I don't understand the "throw away the key forever" idea but some seem to get off on it. I suspect for most it is fantasy, reality is quite difficult !

Size of device is obviously personal, mine is a MatureMetals Jailbird and the base ring is 1.875" and is just about right, 2" is by no means too big. But if you mean penis size when relaxed is 2" diameter then that is impressive ! The cage is meant to snugly fit the relaxed penis.
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ponylady
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Re: Is chastity for real?

Post by ponylady »

the most important question would be something else.

what's the benefit for you to lock him up ?

well, if you refine your "googsch" you'll find boards and blogs centered around this theme.

to cut to the chase: common theme is, men held in chastity are much more attentive to their keyholder (in a nonsexual context) and are much more "enthusiastic" to satisfy their keyholders sexual desires extensively with their "nonlocked extremities". this stems from hoping release would come from their efforts.
you'll have have to find the right dosage of cruelty and charity to get the maximum effect for you.
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Tenderfoot88
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Re: Is chastity for real?

Post by Tenderfoot88 »

I think you guys missed a couple of the questions.

1: Chastity belts are rarely used as a core enforcement thing for a vanilla relationship; it's entirely a submission concept (edit: as far as I'm concerned - other people may have different interpretations). Masturbation in and of itself should never be a problem - in a vanilla relationship, it's often healthy - particularly in a straight relationship - men tend to want far more sex than women do; masturbating allows him to satisfy his own needs when you're not in the mood, without involving another partner (which has a tendency to annoy the original partner). In a D/s relationship, it might be forbidden, but that would be something specific to that relationship. In that context, a new submissive might have difficulty not masturbating and thus be made to wear chastity by the Dom(me).
2: I've heard 3 kinds of experiences with genital cage style chastity equipment: if it's too big, it can be pulled off, or sometimes just shifted along the shaft of the cock, providing a very awkward form of stimulation. If it's a little smaller, it will let a guy start to get hard, but he won't get all the way. Descriptions tend to say this is rather painful, but effective. This is what you can expect from buying one of the mass produced sizes if you pay attention and get the closest size. If it's actually the right size, you get LJ's cage which simply prevents erection entirely. (This is the only place I've come across that sells custom fit chastity cages, which tend to be more expensive, though LJ has been pretty emphatic about it being worth the extra cost: http://spicesforlove.com/index.php) (Oh, there's a 4th experience - if it's too small, it doesn't go on.)
3: Yes, solid ring style can be pulled off. It's a bit tricky to put back on without removing the lock and cage parts, though, so he'll probably have some explaining to do.
4: Technically, it's all about symbolism and trust - any design short of the full wrap belt version can be removed without unlocking, if the guy's sufficiently motivated. And if something bad happens (a bad breakup while in chastity, for instance, where the ex destroys the keys out of spite or some such, there are snips capable of cutting the hasp of a lock that small; and if that doesn't work, the guys at the emergency ward have seen worse. (among other things, the result of using wet concrete as an enema and allowing it to dry.
5: The bigger a guy is hard, the bigger he is flaccid. And it's not a linear relationship. I'm fairly average when erect, but when completely flaccid, you'd be hard pressed to see the shaft itself among the extra skin; I've heard that for guys with the kind of cocks you see in porn tend to be well over half of full size even when fully flaccid. (seems an odd thing to lie about - erect cock size is one thing; nobody cares how small it is when you're flaccid). So perhaps, in extreme cases, 2 inches would actually be a good fit. Also, remember that this ring is going around the very base, so there's a flattened layer of scrotum that pads out the size of the cock ever so slightly.
6: It's the internet. Verifying the truth is impossible, but I can guarantee you two things simply based on the fact it's the internet: People will be perverted well beyond how you ever thought to define the term, and people will lie about anything. So, I'd expect some to be lying and some to be honestly in chastity for that long. (With the right cage designs, hygiene isn't all that difficult to manage.

Ponylady has a point, though - that's the typical benefit you'd get from putting him in chastity, at least from what I've seen in the other guys around here.
Last edited by Tenderfoot88 on 23 Apr 2014, 06:52, edited 1 time in total.
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cdinbonds
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Re: Is chastity for real?

Post by cdinbonds »

No one has tried to answer the last question, about long duration chastity. I can only speak for myself, and I have no reason to lie about it. I was locked in for 92 days at one time. I was allowed only 2 brief periods of "freedom, once when the plastic numbered seal broke, and I didn't have anything to replace it with me, and the other for an "inspection" due to irritation caused by the "Points of intrigue", which resulted in them being removed (due to the fact they had pierced the skin) for the remaining time I was locked up.
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Re: Is chastity for real?

Post by lj »

A couple of clarifications.

The hinged ring goes around cock and balls, next to the body. The cage then fits over the cock and is locked with a gap between cage and ring, trapping the balls and if it is all sized correctly, you can't remove the device without ripping your balls off ! And extracting your cock will be very difficult, and putting it back in, almost impossible.

So the 2" diameter is not your cock diameter :shock:

MatureMetals are a USA company that makes custom-sized devices and sells direct via their website - as far as I know they don't sell via anyone else. There are other custom device manufacture rs but I have no experience of them or their products.
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Re: Is chastity for real?

Post by Fetterer »

Unless the situation is involuntary servitude, then chastity, no matter what the device, is as real as two people want to make it. There is a lot of fiction written about chastity devices, and no doubt some do try to transfer this fiction into real life, but ultimately it must be for play. Now that play can be very serious, and there are many reasons why a chastity device might be put into the play. So don't look for chastity to be something to sensationalize ... it's either fun or its slavery.
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Re: Is chastity for real?

Post by lj »

Perhaps I might clarify another point, hoping I am not sounding pedantic, but it is the use of the word "play" in Fetterer's post (welcome to the forum, by the way :D )

"Play" is used in the BDSM world to usually mean the interaction between two people during a "scene" (the word "scenario" is used on this site in much the same way) the interaction starts and finishes, usually within a time frame of minutes or hours.

Within a D/s relationship, "play" also occurs, but it is not what makes the relationship D/s, it is there for mutual enjoyment - even if the sub may not appear to be enjoying it at the time :shock: Chastity may be a part of the D/s dynamic - in our case it is used as a reminder of who is in charge, or as a punishment. It isn't part of "play" unless it happens to feature in CBT or "tease and denial" games. Some people use chastity as a sign of submission or ownership, again, not "play", but part of the relationship, in much the same way as some wear a permanent collar.

But Fetterer is right in that chastity is not something to sensationalise, or perhaps fantasise about.
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ponylady
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Re: Is chastity for real?

Post by ponylady »

Tenderfoot88 wrote:I think you guys missed a couple of the questions.

1: Chastity belts are rarely used as a core enforcement thing for a vanilla relationship; it's entirely a submission concept.
aeeehmmmmmmmmm:
sarah jameson wrote: Male Chastity Implies and Necessarily Includes Male Submission.

This is unequivocally untrue. Often relationships which involve male submission and female domination do include male chastity, but the reverse is not necessarily the case. John is not in any way submissive, and my “control” of him is limited strictly to his orgasms and the bedroom.

Your man can still be manly, masculine, confident, strong and assertive and still crave male chastity and orgasm denial. Male chastity does not automatically mean your man wants to be turned into a weak and spineless slave. He might want this, of course – but that’s not necessary to enjoy male chastity and not necessarily what he’s after.

Male chastity can be vanilla.

Male Chastity Implies a Female Led Relationship.

This is also untrue. If anything, our marriage is mostly male-led.

Male Chastity Implies You Must Be a Dominant Woman.

This is not so. I am not a dominant woman, yet I enjoy exercising my feminine power in controlling John’s orgasms and “enforcing” male chastity.

Male Chastity is about Control.

No. It includes an element of control, but it’s not about control, necessarily. For me and John and for many of the readers and commentators you’ll find within the pages of this Blog, male chastity is basically a sexy game played out over a period of days, weeks, months, and yes, perhaps years.
from http://www.malechastityblog.com if you wanna read up on the topic, tenderfoot.
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Tenderfoot88
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Re: Is chastity for real?

Post by Tenderfoot88 »

I'd argue that it's still a submission game, though. Lots of guys like a girl who handcuffs them to the bed without going further. That doesn't make the entire relationship a BDSM relationship, and even a fully submissive man in bed might take an equal or lead role in their public life. As for the first point, yes, male chastity does necessarily include male submission. Either he willingly submits to having the chastity belt put on, or you physically pin him down and force it on. either way, he ends up submitting to it. Like a girl who likes her guy handcuffed to the bed, a girl who likes to put her guy in chastity is playing a game drawn from from the bondage/dicipline and domination/submission realms of play.

I meant using it as an actual enforcement tool. That post describes it as a "sexy game." All I meant to say is that it's not generally used to actually keep a wayward husband in an otherwise boring relationship from straying. I haven't heard of a single instance of male chastity belts being used in that context. (Well, aside from it starting as a game and going horribly wrong when the relationship sours with him still being locked up.)
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Re: Is chastity for real?

Post by steelcollar »

It seems evident that chastity devices, like ponygirl training, are private matters between the partners.
And, for the most part, are agreed upon roles by both, and with the agreement that either could terminate it when it becomes "too much."
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Re: Is chastity for real?

Post by lj »

steelcollar wrote:It seems evident that chastity devices, like ponygirl training, are private matters between the partners.
And, for the most part, are agreed upon roles by both, and with the agreement that either could terminate it when it becomes "too much."
Not only "for the most part" but always with consent, anything else is abuse!

But the consent applies to the relationship, not necessarily to the individual event. I'm now in my JailBird device until further notice. I didn't agree to that, but My Lady instructed me to put it on. But implicit in our D/s is that I do what she says. I consented to the D/s.

I'm also a bit bothered by the use of the word "game", but can accept it as referring to something we do for mutual enjoyment, albeit with a serious thread within it.
be a switch, double the fun :-)
Tenderfoot88
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Re: Is chastity for real?

Post by Tenderfoot88 »

lj wrote:I'm also a bit bothered by the use of the word "game", but can accept it as referring to something we do for mutual enjoyment, albeit with a serious thread within it.
That's basically how I meant it - a mutually enjoyable experience, as opposed to having it done to someone without their input or consent.

I'm not a lifestyler, and I've never had a partner who wasn't vanilla (nor have I really had a long term romantic relationship), so my conception of what kind of relationship I'd like is a bit fuzzy. That said, for a relationship with BDSM, I'd want something that was stable in an essentially vanilla context, where any D/s was either in the bedroom (figuratively; I'm open to using other physical rooms) or an... optional extra (hmm, that's not really a good way to put it)...point being the relationship is what we have, the D/s is something we do to spice things up (etc), rather than having the D/s be what binds us together. In that context, the word "game" fits, for me - something everyone involved in is doing and enjoying in one way or another.
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Re: Is chastity for real?

Post by rmcingle »

I am coming in a little late but let me address these questions...
sweetwendy wrote:My boyfriend asked me about my thoughts on chastity devices. Nof ro me but for him.
I did some research on the internet and ended up at this site. And her are my thoughts.
(1) Is masturbation a real problem? And is a chastity device, rather than abstinence, the real solution?
In general, no, masturbation is not a problem. In fact, it is healthy.
As with anything, doing it excessively can create a problem. Not health one, but a relationship one. If he is spending that much time masturbating he isn't paying attention to you, or what he should be doing.

A chastity device would only be a solution if he was willing for it to be a solution. Since he asked I would assume that he at least thinks it would. How the realtity will pan out is another question that only time will tell.
sweetwendy wrote: (2) Are chastity devices effective? I agree that the full belts would be, but what about the cages?
They can be. Many guys are able to "pull out", which means that even when it is locked on the penis can be pulled out the back and thus allowing masturbation. Getting the penis back in is another question. I am occasionally locked in a CB-2000 and I am sure that I could pull out the back. Considering how difficult it is for me to get in on in the first place I doubt that I could re-insert. I have never tried, as it is one of those things that I am better off not learning.
sweetwendy wrote: (3) They come in two types, I see. But the ones where you have a solid ring seem to me to be useless. Anything that can be stuffed in can be pulled out.
Solid or split ring makes no difference to security, only the ease of putting it on. The rings come in different diameters and to be secure you need the ring that fits snug. A split ring allows for easy application. A solid ring requires a bit of manipulation to put on: the balls go through first, and the penis last (the penis can be squished into a very tight space).

sweetwendy wrote: (4) Does this mean that those who want to use that type of device find it symbolic rather than secure. They COULD get out but just choose not to.
Symbolic is perhaps the primary function. Those small locks are not hard to pick, and there aren't that many different keys. If he really wanted out he could buy enough of the same lock until he bought one with the same key. Or learn to pick it. Or pull out. It is even possible to achieve orgasm while wearing the device. If it works it will be because he wants it to work.

I enjoy being locked up. When I am not locked up I am frequently tempted to masturbate, even though my better sense tells me not to. I can be locked up, even with the key readily available in the next room but just the extra effort require to go get the key is enough to keep temptation under control. In all the time I have been locked in my chastity device I have managed to orgasm twice while wearing it but never "backed out" or otherwise defeated it.


sweetwendy wrote: (5) The hinged rings would appear to be more secure, but some offer rings as much as two inches. Are there men that are really that big? (I measured the b.f. and he is 1.6 inches.)
Yes, I wear the two inch ring.
sweetwendy wrote: (6) Are those who claimed to have been locked up for weeks or months or longer telling the truth? Or are they trying to impress?
I am telling the truth when I say I have been locked up for months at a time.

I am currently only locked up sporatically. But 8 years ago I was essentially kept locked 24/7, with my wife as the key holder. This went on for about two years. The typical sequence was that I would be locked unless there was some reason not to be. Valid reasons included playing sports (I played soccer and hoceky) and swimming (we have a ski boat and a houseboat). On the summer boating weekends I might be unlocked all weekend long. During the hockey and/or soccer season I would be unlocked just before heading to the game, relocked as soon as I got home.

The longest I went without the chastity device being removed at all was 30 days. The longest without an orgasm was 60 days. A more typical number was 10 to 15 days. One time I had gone above and beyond in making my wife happy and she rewarded me with a week of free masturbation. It was glorious, but I was anxious to be locked up again.

It is a long story why I am not locked 24/7 now but I wish I could go back to that.

Ron
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