I thought I was safe

Chastity is perhaps the ultimate in long term selfbondage.
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Arthur
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I thought I was safe

Post by Arthur »

I married late in life, long after my penis was in maximum condition. I bought a small chastity cage for two reasons, to punish my penis for being so small and hard to rise, and to try to stimulate it between attempts at having sex with my wife.

She knew nothing of this; I usually wore it when she took business trips, which generally were two or three days long. Last week, she arrived home earlier than expected so I had to remove the cage quickly. Since I could not put it in the usual hiding place, I dropped it into my laundry basket and covered it. I should add that this was supposedly a safe place - - since we both had lived solo for so long, we agreed that (among other things) each would take care of his/her own laundry.

My mind turned to other things and I forgot about it. A few days later, my wife came to me, held out her hand, and said, "What is this?" I asked where she got it. "I was wasing bath towels and noticed that you had thrown yours into the wash, so I thought I would combine the load."

Well, there was no getting around it. No excuse like the dog dropped it in there, etc. I came clean, completely, and again - - as I have done so many times over the past three years - - about how inadequate my penis is. She accepted all of this calmly and then came the reaction. She was going to take an unscheduled trip in a few days, one that would be lasting a week. And that I would be wearing the cage while she was gone, and of course the key would go with her.

When that morning arrived, she had me strip naked and then held out the cage. She wondered aloud if I should put it on or she would cage me. Since she had never done it nor watched me, she decided I would put it on. When I had finished, she took the lock and snapped it shut. I dared not beg her to leave the key, but I also knew that in case of emergency, I could use a bolt cutter to free myself. [But then I would have to explain this, which might lead to more punishment.]

It was really difficult but I lasted the week. Sleeping was the main problem, but I had experience that before. It all had a positive end, though, because after she freed me, my penis had new life for the sex we had minutes later. (Of course this was not unnoticed on her part - - penis + cage = better sex. You get the rest.)
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Shannon SteelSlave
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Re: I thought I was safe

Post by Shannon SteelSlave »

This would have been a great response to "chastity in the news", except that thread has the pirate flag flying high. Great example of pro-male chastity, Arthur.
Bondage is like a foreign film without subtitles. Only through sharing and practice can we hope to understand.
A Jedi uses bondage for knowledge and defense, never for attack.
I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T!....I, I mean S-M-A-R-T!
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Kathy DeKink
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Re: I thought I was safe

Post by Kathy DeKink »

This reminds me of a somewhat similar incident which happened recently in our house.
My sister was recovering from major surgery so I visited her every Sunday, returning on Monday.
One week, my car broke down so I left it in the shop there and came back in her car.
When I arrived home, my husband met me and excitedly asked where my car was.
I assured him that there was no accident and that the car would be back in a week.

Tuesday night is "play night" for us. He cannot get it up so we do mutual oral sex.
When the time came, he begged off due to having an upset stomach. OK, that can happen.
But when he waited until I had turned off my reading light to undress, I was suspicious.
I turned on the light and got the surprise of my life - - he had a steel penis!
I was too shocked to wait for an explaination. He confessed that he wore the chastity tube while
I was gone each week; I didn't quite understand the rationale but think it was somewhat like what
Arthur said. The kicker was that to enforce the time he had to wear it (in his mind), he hid the key
in my car. Yes! So now the key to his freedom was miles and days away.

The following Monday, I returned in my car, but I had found the key. I told him to strip and I would release him. No, he replied, give him the key and he would do it himself. What's the difference?
I handed him the key and noticed him producing another key, and he unlocked the padlock.
Caught again. He admitted that he feared I would find the key and keep me locked up, so he cut off the lock and bought a new lock, to which he had the key.

That was a month ago. I'm still pondering if I should lock him up and keep the key.
I can't ask Miss Manners soI'm asking any of you for suggestions.
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ruru67
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Re: I thought I was safe

Post by ruru67 »

Kathy DeKink wrote:(stuff, see above)
Um, you need to have a talk about what he wants from this. And what you'd like. Do you want to have the key and therefore control? And does he want you to have it?

Leaving the key in the car just meant he was locked up while you were away; while it took control away from him, it wasn't actually giving it to you. It seems to me that if you're going to be involved in this game of his, then you'll need some ground rules around how that transfer of control works, and when he gets it back. I can't say if giving control to you was either how he justified what he was doing to himself, or if he would like you involved. Only he can tell you that.

The other thing is that often devices can't be worn for very long before they chafe and cause unsexy problems. So you'll need to discuss how long lockups can be for, how long between them and how he can get out if there is a problem. If you do want to do this seriously, you may need to look for a better or more appropriate device.
lj
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Re: I thought I was safe

Post by lj »

I think ruru has given good advice.

There are many reasons for wanting to use a chastity device (as a man)

There's a lot of rubbish about male chastity on the internet, and most is pure fantasy.

Almost any device is removeable, given the right tools and determination, and almost no devices prevent orgasm, so most of the point of chastity is what goes on in the brain. Normal intercourse is, of course, impossible.

As with all BDSM play, consent is the prime consideration, anything else is illegal or abusive or both. So the man agrees to be put in a chastity device - he either agrees to put himself in it, or his partner does it (or locks it or holds the key) When and if the key is made available depends upon how the device is locked, for example, the various websites witholding a photo of a combination for a random period, a keyholder doing it for fun or money, or a partner. A keyholder can add to the fun by being fickle about when or if the key will be available, or to tease the man physically or mentally.

I would say that the direct involvement of a "live" keyholder is vital for sustained use of a chastity device, so the keyholder must get something out of holding the key, whether it is a personal sexual stimulus, the control, the good sex ("normal" or any other variant !) good behaviour from the man. The "lock up and throw away the key" fantasy is best left as fantasy.

What does the man get out of it ? All I can say is that when we practised chastity, I liked the feeling of confinement the device provided, a constant reminder of control, accepting that any sexual activity was determined by My Lady, and that I could concentrate on her pleasure without expecting any sexual pleasure myself.

As to safety and hygiene, a custom-sized stainless steel device is the only long-term option. By all means try off-the-shelf devices to get the sizing right, you may be lucky and get the right one that way, but I spent more on the wrong devices than the one custom device which is suitable for long-term wear and allows easy hygiene. You also need to work up to sustained use - the idea you can be locked up from day-1 for months is again in the fantasy world.

and you do both need to discuss it.
be a switch, double the fun :-)
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