A little help with telling your partner

Crossdressing as a part of or type of selfbondage.
monkey
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Posts: 37
Joined: 20 Mar 2006, 22:52
Location: Birmingham uk

A little help with telling your partner

Post by monkey »

For those of you wanting to tell your partner, or if your partner is bombarding you with questions I came across this website. http://www.Ladylike.org.uk. I've pointed mine in it's direction as the creator is a women whose other half is a crossdresser so it's by a women for women with questions and sets out to put their mind at ease that were not all homosexual but healthy sane men.
Last edited by anna on 17 Jul 2011, 20:05, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Changed the subject and made sticky
Stangman1234
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Posts: 24
Joined: 17 Jan 2011, 03:59
Location: St. Louis, Missouri

Re: I found this and thought it might be useful

Post by Stangman1234 »

Nice find. Im going to have to point my gf in that direction when i tell her.
I'm into a bit of everything.
Aliciaslut
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Posts: 4
Joined: 02 Sep 2011, 19:30

Re: A little help with telling your partner

Post by Aliciaslut »

I told my girlfriend and she got really happy.. Guess who will be dressed as a total slut hooker in public on halloween!makeop, heels, everything! I'm soooo excited!
bounddreams2008
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Joined: 02 Jan 2012, 06:50
Location: Rockwall Texas

Re: A little help with telling your partner

Post by bounddreams2008 »

I just cant bring my self to tell her. I kind of jokingly mentioned dressing up as a hooker for halloween and she said no that's just gross. So i'm thinking i will never be able to tell her.
lj
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Joined: 14 Oct 2008, 18:22
Location: East Anglia, UK

Re: A little help with telling your partner

Post by lj »

There is a big difference between telling your partner and having them accept cross-dressing. I have personal experience of this, when LadyJ discovered my kink life a while ago. I should mention that the aforementioned kink life included a lot more than just cross-dressing, but somewhat to my surprise, my (and I stress MY) cross-dressing was perhaps the biggest issue.

LadyJ has accepted my kink side, and we are developing and greatly enjoying our switch-switch life together. However, she is absolutely adamant that I do not cross-dress, in or out of her presence. Having said that, she has no problems with other men cross-dressing, several of our mutual friends in the scene are regular cross-dressers, also including at least six TG/TS MtoF

Fortunately, for me, cross-dressing was a minor part of my kink side, and whilst I enjoyed dressing for the play-parties and at home on my own, it is not a strong enough desire for me to upset my lovely wife, who has travelled so far down an unexpected pathway to accompany me in the scene.

So, by all means tell your partner, but don't expect them to accept cross-dressing, by you, or by others, nor should you expect to be able to persuade them otherwise. You may indeed be able to, and ultimately openness is essential for everyone's mental well-being, so it is well worth trying.
be a switch, double the fun :-)
rubbersubcd
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Posts: 2
Joined: 16 Jan 2012, 23:08

Re: A little help with telling your partner

Post by rubbersubcd »

my wife will have no part of it... she hates CD's.... so...i have to secretly play when she's not around....
thespellbinder
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Posts: 5
Joined: 14 Oct 2010, 00:49

Re: A little help with telling your partner

Post by thespellbinder »

yep, I cross dress when my wife is asleep. She is going on holiday soon and I am thinking of visiting "the fourth space" in london soon.......... :?:
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Annabel
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Joined: 17 May 2014, 04:41
Location: UK Northwest

Re: A little help with telling your partner

Post by Annabel »

I'm in an odd position when it comes to my partner. Years back she found my pair of high heeled boots. Initially she thought I was being unfaithful and they were for another woman and when I realised this I told her they were mine which and that if she checked the size they were a UK 10. One of my most awkward and embarrassing moments in my life.
So I know she knows about the shoes which I have a small number of but I've never really pushed this further in regards me wearing the whole attire.

At the moment I carry out my cross dressing while she sleeps or while she's away spending the whole day in cross dress (good times). The light bondage isn't an issue but she;s unaware of my self bondage but that's for another thread.

So I think she half suspects but I'm not sure of coming out completely.
darryl63
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Posts: 17
Joined: 04 Jul 2014, 08:09

Re: A little help with telling your partner

Post by darryl63 »

This is a good post and some good advice here :D
On a personal level I am transgendared and did dress and go out as Rebecca my femme side I went shopping etc and did all the things real girls do I simply adored being Rebecca and to go out as a women and go shopping was bliss.
BUT! I came out to my wife and to cut a long story short I lost my marriage and the last two years have been sheer hell and I have never been through so much upset and the pain I caused my wife was to much to bear.
If you feel it is right to come out then just take a little time out to think what you could lose but if your partner is ok with it then that's fantastic and I wish you and anyone who does this all the very best but it can go wrong and for me it did.
My story is far to long and depressing for this lovely forum but I really do wish any T-Girl the best as I know how hard this life is even though I don't dress anymore I can still offer advise on makeup etc and share stories :)

Darryl ( Rebecca )
:D
inhibitt
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Joined: 18 Aug 2014, 03:28

Re: A little help with telling your partner

Post by inhibitt »

I think it's important that you take the stress and seriousness out of it. It wouldn't be a big deal to tell your wife that you're picking up golf. If you treat it like a hobby, that kind of takes the fear out of the equation more.

This is exactly how I think of it: fun and challenging. It's an excuse to lose weight. It's actually challenging to walk in really high heels, so it's just a new skill I'm interested in learning. It comes with it's own set of challenges when I'm shopping (sizing, privacy and what not), but that's a blast, too. And of course, it's hot - tight dress, hot shoes, wig draping down over my shoulders.

But when I first told my wife, it came off as a serious admission. As a result, I got a clear "I'm not interested in hearing this at all, I like you male. Please don't change." I think that kind of response assumes that I'm thinking, "this is something I've been hiding and is a large part of my personality."

It took years for me to get the courage up and admit to myself that it's not a big deal: it really is just a casual thing. That realization and the confidence that comes with it has made it 100% more fun to chat about it with her. I can tease her that I'm better in heels than her and it's something she can tease me about when we're discussing our spending money ("you'll probably just go blow it on shoes!"). As a result, she's even opening up to seeing me in heels, and even started to admit I look pretty damn good in them.

Long story short: treat it as a hobby and it's a lot more digestible.
Svenshal
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Joined: 09 Mar 2015, 17:18

Re: A little help with telling your partner

Post by Svenshal »

There is no way my current girlfriend would accept it. I play only when she is outdoors :whip:
Marissa
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Joined: 26 Jul 2013, 00:58

Re: A little help with telling your partner

Post by Marissa »

With the infrequency of dressing up and playing it really is only a hobby for me right now. Truthfully, dressing is more satisfying that dressing and getting tied up.
Wiqueyse
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Posts: 1
Joined: 28 Aug 2015, 06:01

Re: A little help with telling your partner

Post by Wiqueyse »

It is evident that society is becoming more and more aware of the exciting CrossDressing scene. Indeed even in the media, even some celebrities have "confessed" to enjoying the odd womans clothing.
mattinva
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Joined: 02 Sep 2015, 03:19

Re: A little help with telling your partner

Post by mattinva »

fwiw,
I'm in a lull of female companionship at the moment. I love them as friends and lovers. I should note that sexually I'm about 99% oral and really do identify with the Sissy persona have since childhood. Not by name but you get the idea. I like the way girls smell, taste, and feel... Who wants to sleep with a guy when they can sleep with something soft, smooth, and so edible... :D I also enjoy playing with some boys toys and the reward they give me for my adoration of their sweet appendage.

After reading this thread I never knew how lucky I truly am to live my life as I see fit. No wife, no kids. Came close while in College. Thankfully not tied down... Can fondle, lick, suck, and nibble on a girl from her toes up one day and spend the afternoon at a Glory Hole the next. Can wear a fishnet body stocking and 6" heels(ouch!) OR dress as a lumber jack... I mean YUCK but I could do it if I wanted.

I know your wives mean the world to you gentlemen, however, this is one Sissy who is happy to be a free agent. Short of the new Mistress that is... :facepalm:

Kisses...
Nikkinylons
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Joined: 17 Aug 2016, 15:44

Re: A little help with telling your partner

Post by Nikkinylons »

I realize that everyone's situation is different but considering that I am 52 years old, I have been dressing since I was a teen, and involved in numerous relationships I would like to offer some suggestions and advice that could very easily make your second life much more enjoyable.

The first time I tried crossdressing I was 18 years old and had been dating my girlfriend for about two years. We had been drinking and messing around and she had me put on a pair of her panties, garters, and stockings while we were in the bed together. The bottom line was that it was all in good fun but I found that it got me very aroused and really turned on by the feel of the material. She realized this as well and over the course of the next four years dressing became a big part of our relationship as well as sex life.

When we broke up I was devastated. By now crossdressing had become a huge part of who I really was and there was honestly no turning back no matter how many times I tried to tell myself to stop. I purged my things and told myself I am not going to do this anymore only to find myself buying more lingerie, shoes, and clothes to replace the items that I threw away. My next two girlfriend's eventually found out about my dressing by discovering my secret stash. Neither tried to understand or for that matter wanted to hear what I had to say. The broke up with me and that was that!

I went several years alone before starting to date and yet once again made the mistake of getting myself caught by being careless. Another year went by and I met my first soon to be wife. I really loved her and thought, this is the one. I purged, we married, and two months later I found myself once again replacing my female wardrobe. About one year in to our relationship and she found my things that I had gone to great lengths to hide really well in the attic. All because she wanted to clean and unpack some of the things that we had placed up there when we moved. She demanded I throw everything away and never do it again to which I agreed and yet, eight months later decided she wanted a divorce because she just couldn't deal with the fact that I had crossdressed.

From that day forward I told myself that I would never ever enter in to another relationship with a woman unless she knew everything there was to know about me. Sure I dated a few women and told them which basically ran them off but eventually I found a woman that accepted me for me and we dated for seven years before getting married. We have since been married for ten years and going strong.

The point is that you really owe it to yourself to be honest with someone, especially if your plan is to be with this person for the rest of your life. Sure, you might manage to live your other life and never get caught but what happens when you do? Besides, if the person really loves you then they should be willing to accept you for the person your really are. If you are really in love you owe it to them and they owe it to you in return.

On a side note let me just say that having a partner in your life that is 100% involved in your kinks and fetishes really makes it that much more enjoyable. Besides dressing and bondage I also enjoy it when she tells other people about me getting all dressed up or when we go to the store and she lets it be known that those clothes and shoes are for me. She knows it turns me on and it just makes her happy knowing that I am as well!
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