Getting out the house not seen.

Crossdressing as a part of or type of selfbondage.
Miss_Lucy_P
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Getting out the house not seen.

Post by Miss_Lucy_P »

I know I've seen posts like this in the past. But I'd like more case-specific advice for this one and my first post after some lurking!
So as I assume most in this sub forum do, I occasionally like to be colourful with my clothing choices! As a man I like to wear stuff Ranging from "pass" type stuff, to slutty emo girl to PCV hooker to cosplay(crossplay) stuff.

Of course you can pull over somewhere and bung some clothes on, but some of these outfits can take ages to properly get into if you want to do decent makeup and hair etc, meaning the ideal place to do this is at home.. bringing the age old issue.

I do NOT want to be seen by my neighbours as I have to live next to these people for many years to come and I am not open about it! Whilst I suspect if someone I knew saw me whilst I was out from across the street or walked past they'd know something is up, I doubt highly that they would recognise me, but a neighbour probably would put 2+2 together. so the "just do it and don't worry" isn't an option for me.

My house has a front and back door, both display out onto other rows of houses, my driveway is to the side of my house again displayed by yet another street (so 3 in total) absolutely perfect for anyone who did want to get spotted! the streets are all close enough anyone nosing out a window would be able to spot, and its well street lit making night even a no-no, but I'd love to be able to go out daytime anyway.

So far I have gone out without makeup with heavier clothes over the top, I have gone out with basic makeup in the same manner but at night and winter so just had my hoodie up (still didn't feel super comfy as makeup is quite visible still). And I have just gone out and dressed elsewhere.. but when I play at home and spend hours getting ready with full makeup, hair, jewellery etc I want to be able to get out the street without being seen rather than be stuck in the house :(

Sometimes this is just me, other times it would be with my GF.

I honestly don't think there is an answer.. But it can't hurt to ask..
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Re: Getting out the house not seen.

Post by lj »

I'll start by suggesting a correction, this isn't specifically a "sub" forum, whilst many prefer that choice of lifestyle, some are switches (me, for example), and some essentially or entirely Dom(me).

As to your question, no there isn't an answer! Unless you are very convincing when cross-dressed, you will be recognised as male by anyone giving you a close look. I know quite a few TG male-to-female, and also TVs/Cross-dressers. Of those a very,very few are entirely convincing, some will pass a casual glance and the majority are clearly male dressed as women. Please note there is nothing wrong with this - I cross-dressed for play-parties and was clearly male in a skirt etc. (I enjoyed the feeling of the clothes, with no desire to be female, your or anyone else's motivation is your own business)

What I have found, by personal experience and talking to others, is that the feeling that your kink will be noticed is usually totally wrong. If you dress in an obvious way (PVC tart, slutty emo) you will be noticed, whether male or female, because you are way out of the normal - again, nothing wrong with that, but it's no different from wearing a top-hat and riding a unicycle, you are asking for people to notice you.

Additionally ,most random people will ignore someone who doesn't quite "compute". I recall going to a pizza place, then a cinema, with my play-partner, she dressed in a tight black PVC hobble skirt with padlocks at the top and bottom of a full-length zip, black stockings and heels. Apart from the occasional admiring glance, no reaction at all.

Another misconception is the male wearing of a chastity device, many are genuinely worried that the device will be obvious to anyone. Unless it is genuinely very large (and very few are) or you are wearing very tight trousers or lycra, at worst (?) they may just think you are "well hung". Again, from my own experience, the only time someone will notice is when you take off your clothes!

So my conclusion is that you are essentially worrying without good reason, except perhaps in the actual leaving of your house, unless you go for the exhibitionist dress. If you are dressed and made-up in a way that the average woman would be, your neighbours would most likely just assume you were a visitor leaving the house. If you are with your girl-friend (and you are lucky to have one who is supportive) then that is even better "cover".

Finally, does it really matter if your neighbours know? Will it affect your work, your family, your friends? That will be a personal decision. I know this doesn't fit with your not wanting the "just do it and don't worry" answer but I think it is a choice between that or not indulging in your kink fun.
be a switch, double the fun :-)
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Lisa2024
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Re: Getting out the house not seen.

Post by Lisa2024 »

Well there is one thing you can do: Book a hotel in another city. In the hotel room you have all the time you need for dressing and makeup, and when you go out, no one knows you. I did that (however I was in the hotel for other reasons).
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Shannon SteelSlave
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Re: Getting out the house not seen.

Post by Shannon SteelSlave »

Welcome to Bound Anna, Lucy.
Bondage is like a foreign film without subtitles. Only through sharing and practice can we hope to understand.
A Jedi uses bondage for knowledge and defense, never for attack.
I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T!....I, I mean S-M-A-R-T!
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Miss_Lucy_P
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Re: Getting out the house not seen.

Post by Miss_Lucy_P »

Thanks for the welcome and replies.
I don't specifically remember writing sub forum, I thought I put forum, but it seems not, in which case I meant sub-forum as in a branched forum, not a submissive forum :)

I think it's safe to say I'm definitely not perfectly convincing, I'd go with medium at best. But being honest, So I am fairly sure I'd be okay at a reasonable distance or poor lighting, and especially those that did not know me, but its the frequency of going in and out home that bothers me as it would eventually lead to someone working it out because even if I look feminine, I still look like a girl me.
I do have some nice winter fluffy coats that can cover over many dubious costumes, so that would help there as long as it's not mid summer to keep the image more tame! It wouldn't bother any friends/family I doubt, or my job, but I have suffered in the past with generic anxiety of going out etc, and I would hate for there to be a reason I feel less capable of going outside again.

The more I think about CD/TV/Trans, the more I realise everyone has their decisions to make, and it is far from a simple one that most television shows or films etc show on the subject only really touching the surface.

Hotel sounds very good, definitely going to try that, and make the most of it, but I would love to be able to do this any day, any week. without too much planning. will have to buy lottery then, and try to win enough to buy a house in the middle of no where :)

love to hear any more suggestions, but I think it is almost certainly a lost cause for a perfect solution!

Always after more interesting games to play out and about too.. but will save that for another thread later, with a rough idea what i've done so far and enjoy etc ;) :whip:
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kinbaku
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Re: Getting out the house not seen.

Post by kinbaku »

Welcome Miss_Lucy_P. If it is only for your neighbours that you are worry, I was thinking of booking an hotel in another city - but Lisa2024 got ahead of me. :facepalm:
What if your girlfriend picks you up in the car right outside your door. She can call from that car that there is no danger of anyone seeing you. When it rains lightly, a rain cover can also serve as a shield for the distance between the door and the car.
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bounddosster
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Re: Getting out the house not seen.

Post by bounddosster »

Miss_Lucy_P wrote: will have to buy lottery then, and try to win enough to buy a house in the middle of no where :)
Hello Miss Lucy P, You certainly started out with a toughie, I can tell you from experience having a house with no nieghbours makes keeping things private easier though the few people you do have around you soon know your car and who should be driving it so it is not quite so easy to be unnoticed. Plus you have the constant worry that your property is an easier target for scum to break into.
That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it.
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Re: Getting out the house not seen.

Post by Hannah_G »

Yep, it's easier to be anonymous amongst many 8)
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kinbaku
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Re: Getting out the house not seen.

Post by kinbaku »

Andy_G wrote:Yep, it's easier to be anonymous amongst many 8)
And try to move with the flow as much as possible: do not make sudden movements.
There is even an experiment in which someone dressed as a gorilla moves among people without anyone noticing. :rofl:
One of the principles I apply in my magic tricks.
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Re: Getting out the house not seen.

Post by Miss_Lucy_P »

This is the problem I think, not the solution, the bear video worked because peoples eyes followed the movement of the ball giving a distraction. in an empty street a person walking *IS* the thing that will grab your attention.

So I need to set a load of bears free just before I go out each time :D problem solved.

I understand how you feel living in the middle of no-where with regards to being a higher target, but I think most theft is opportunistic, so they wont be driving all the way out to the middle of no where just on the off chance its easy to get in and you have anything worthwhile. I used to live somewhere like that, so actually fully understand your comment about the cars, you'd know anyone from 100meters away, even though my car is quite unique now, its not going to be "definitely me" unless anyone recognises my number plate in full. so should be fine :)
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bounddosster
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Re: Getting out the house not seen.

Post by bounddosster »

kinbaku wrote:
Andy_G wrote:Yep, it's easier to be anonymous amongst many 8)
And try to move with the flow as much as possible: do not make sudden movements.
There is even an experiment in which someone dressed as a gorilla moves among people without anyone noticing. :rofl:
One of the principles I apply in my magic tricks.
With the way the world is today, with people walking around fixed to their phone screens I can well believe a gorilla would pass unnoticed. Even without phones, I think people are not as observant as they were thirty years ago. In the UK the Govt is introducing a new law where pedestrians have the right of way over cars at junctions when turning left. All I can say to that is there are going to be a lot of injured pedestrians laying on the road claiming it was their right of way and a lot of normally safe drivers be prosecuted and somewhere down the line a lot of socillators making money.
That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it.
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Lisa2024
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Re: Getting out the house not seen.

Post by Lisa2024 »

bounddosster wrote:
kinbaku wrote:
Andy_G wrote:Yep, it's easier to be anonymous amongst many 8)
And try to move with the flow as much as possible: do not make sudden movements.
There is even an experiment in which someone dressed as a gorilla moves among people without anyone noticing. :rofl:
One of the principles I apply in my magic tricks.
With the way the world is today, with people walking around fixed to their phone screens I can well believe a gorilla would pass unnoticed. Even without phones, I think people are not as observant as they were thirty years ago. In the UK the Govt is introducing a new law where pedestrians have the right of way over cars at junctions when turning left. All I can say to that is there are going to be a lot of injured pedestrians laying on the road claiming it was their right of way and a lot of normally safe drivers be prosecuted and somewhere down the line a lot of socillators making money.
Actually in the world today with the pandemic it is also pretty easy for people that do not habe a good passing. I mean just put a mask on and it will be very hard to tell if you are a woman or not. And on top of that, no one will recognize you ;)
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bounddosster
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Re: Getting out the house not seen.

Post by bounddosster »

Miss_Lucy_P wrote:This is the problem I think, not the solution, the bear video worked because peoples eyes followed the movement of the ball giving a distraction. in an empty street a person walking *IS* the thing that will grab your attention.

So I need to set a load of bears free just before I go out each time :D problem solved.

I understand how you feel living in the middle of no-where with regards to being a higher target, but I think most theft is opportunistic, so they wont be driving all the way out to the middle of no where just on the off chance its easy to get in and you have anything worthwhile. I used to live somewhere like that, so actually fully understand your comment about the cars, you'd know anyone from 100meters away, even though my car is quite unique now, its not going to be "definitely me" unless anyone recognises my number plate in full. so should be fine :)
If the street is attempt you have no problem :rofl: (that is sarcasm for you).

What did I miss, where did all these bears and a ball come from. I'm starting to worry about the amount of stuff I seem to miss these days.

"I think most theft is opportunistic," not where we were, In the area, we lived our nearest neighbour was about a quarter of a mile away and they were broken into twice, the last time was by an organized gang selecting rural properties. They also broke into another house about a quarter of a mile on the other side of us. The farmyard 400m down the lane was done four times and we had one attempted break-in which I prevented. All within five years and that was before the nearest town to us went totally downhill after we moved a long way away from it. The murder rate went from one in thirty years to one a month. Better than some cities I know but for a quiet lovely rural area the increase in crime was alarming.
That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it.
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bounddosster
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Re: Getting out the house not seen.

Post by bounddosster »

Sorry I've gone totally off subject. I see two solutions neither much good.

One, employ someone to walk well ahead of you dressed in a really alarming manner or perhaps someone not dressed at all, that might distract from you, but I doubt it would help with leaving the house as neighbours seeing such an alarming sight leaving your house might be even more glued to their windows to see what appears next.

Two, a bit more practical but expensive. Buy a camper/motorhome. You can leave the house in male mode and after having parked and dressed with plenty of room on offer to dress and make up you can emerge wherever you like. It would also be very useful for holidays with your understanding girlfriend.

I'd like to claim this idea as my original thought but it wasn't as some years ago I knew a man who crossdressed with the full support of his wife, a lovely couple, in fact, it was her that got him into crossdressing. They had a similar setup but with a caravan and most weekends, they would leave home in the caravan as man & wife, on route they would park up in a layby and when they arrived at one of their regular sites it was as lady and lady friend. To my knowledge, they never had any trouble.
That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it.
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Shannon SteelSlave
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Re: Getting out the house not seen.

Post by Shannon SteelSlave »

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You're right about the cellular telephone machines. So many of my grunts here are constantly walking around with their heads listed forward.
Bondage is like a foreign film without subtitles. Only through sharing and practice can we hope to understand.
A Jedi uses bondage for knowledge and defense, never for attack.
I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T!....I, I mean S-M-A-R-T!
👠👠
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