Do I need to be worried?

Crossdressing as a part of or type of selfbondage.
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JulieAnn99
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Do I need to be worried?

Post by JulieAnn99 »

My middle-aged husband has discovered, during this period of staying home, how comfortable leggings are.
He has long worn them to bed, with the idea they do not bunch up when he moves around. This makes sense to me.
On nights we make love, he wears bright red leggings. (Or are they tights? He likes the former because they don't sound as feminine.)
But now he wears them during the day, almost every day. Usually black, but sometimes grey. Not only at home but also when he goes shopping.
He says that he looks better in solid black, with long t-shirt, than the men and women who walk around in shorts. Again, that makes sense.
Yesterday when he leaned over and the shirt pulled up, I could see that he was wearing a black leotard over the leggings.
My question: do I have to worry that he is in the beginning stages of cross-dressing? How far might it go?
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kinbaku
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Re: Do I need to be worried?

Post by kinbaku »

What's wrong with cross dressing? It probably opens up new ideas for both of you. In any case, talk to him about it: it could just be that he likes the soft fabric without it having anything to do with cross dressing.
Extra: you can always delete your previous unnecessary posts by clicking the X. :love:
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Gregovic
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Re: Do I need to be worried?

Post by Gregovic »

My personal opinion (though I might be biased) is that whether your husband might be a cross-dresser or not is not something to be too worried about. If you have worries about how far he might take things or that it might change or at least impact your relationship then the right thing to do is have a good talk about it and voice your feelings to him. I do hope you can find it within yourself to not judge him for it and keep an open mind. The fact you come to a kink friendly place like this for advise at least makes me less worried in that regard.

If it's just the leggings and leotard it might not be about cross-dressing at all and he might just like the feeling of the tight fit and the spandex fabrics. There's lots of people like that for whom the turn on is the fabrics and the close/tight fit of the garments and nothing at all about the fact that a lot of those garments are "traditionally" seen as feminine.
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bound_jenny
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Re: Do I need to be worried?

Post by bound_jenny »

kinbaku wrote:Extra: you can always delete your previous unnecessary posts by clicking the X.
Or wait around until the sexy moderator with the magic whip :whip: comes around and flicks those pesky duplicates into the bit bucket... :hi:

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kinbaku
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Re: Do I need to be worried?

Post by kinbaku »

bound_jenny wrote:
kinbaku wrote:Extra: you can always delete your previous unnecessary posts by clicking the X.
Or wait around until the sexy moderator with the magic whip :whip: comes around and flicks those pesky duplicates into the bit bucket... :hi:

Jenny.
Thank you, Jenny. :love:
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Karren
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Re: Do I need to be worried?

Post by Karren »

JulieAnn99 wrote:My question: do I have to worry that he is in the beginning stages of cross-dressing? How far might it go?
All depends on what you want.... a husband or a girlfriend! lol I wouldn't worry until he takes a female name, buys breast forms, a wig and starts using makeup.....
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Sergio
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Re: Do I need to be worried?

Post by Sergio »

JulieAnn99 wrote:My question: do I have to worry that he is in the beginning stages of cross-dressing? How far might it go?
To what extent would it bother you if he did? What would your limits be? Female underwear in bed? All day under his office clothes? Wearing dresses at home? In public? Heels? Wig? Breast forms? Makeup?

I had a ex who in conversation with her girlfriends heard the suggestion from one that if her boyfriend wanted anal he had to take a dildo himself for a few hours first so he knew how it felt. So she told me that if I wanted her wearing heels when we went out I had to wear some for an equivalent time first. To which over time were added stockings, skirt, corset and so on. Which I found fun and led to some really great sex, but she also found she could dominate and control me by demanding I keep them on when I wanted them off (heels and tight underwired bra stop being fun after a while). So if that sort of domination appeals to you, think about how to make it work to your advantage.
Arthur
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Re: Do I need to be worried?

Post by Arthur »

This sounds like me. I love wearing tights, but a leotard is a last resort. It's a pain when one has to go to the bathroom, and in the summer it can be hot because it fits so snugly.
I suspect he's wearing a cheap pair of tights because those tend to have a cheap waistband. In other words, the eleastic does not do the job.
Watch some day when he is not wearing the leotard. Does he frequently pull up at the waist? If so, that's probably the reason for the leotard.
Suggestion: Buy him a nice pairof tights with a wide "top-control" waist. Or volunteer to put a wider elastic on the tights he has.
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bounddosster
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Re: Do I need to be worried?

Post by bounddosster »

I think your best course is communication. Talk about it with your husband, every good relationship is based on good open communication. If you have any worries they could lead to unnoticed stress and strains forming.
You don't actually give your opinion about crossdressing, but regardless good communication between partners keeps things ticking over well.
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restricted
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Re: Do I need to be worried?

Post by restricted »

Why worry? It is only material after all. He will always be him. You might find that he has a lot of worries (As most men do about keeping the family together, his job etc). Most cross dressers are as straight as an arrow. Her will never cheat on you. How could he chat another girl up and say "I wear dresses?" It's bad enough to confide in you.

You could help b suggesting that he tries a skirt or dress on. Get him a satin nightdress and a matching one for you. (Comfortable for him and easy access for you) He will argue that he doesn't want to wear it, but watch him shale with excitement when you put it on him. Especially if the dress has a back zip. Have a night of girly talk. Try make up on him. Have a laugh, with him and not at him, no matter how ridiculous he looks. Relax. Later suggest a role reversal night. You wear the trousers and he is the dutiful wife.

Surety a cross dresser is better than some kinks. (Pedophiles, rapists, etc). You MUST talk about it.

I can tell you from experience that cross dressing does help. When I had my problems, (a suicide and the threat of two lots of court action) I told my doctor that for some reason wearing a dress came into my mind. My mother used to put my sisters dresses om me . My doctors reaction was "Do it but don't let your neighbours see you". It did. I felt an idiot sitting there in my nurse's uniform watching the sun come up. But I relaxed and my problems eased.

Don't condemn him, Try to look at it from his point of view. If some of the stories I read were true (even 5% of them), you could eventually turn him into your maid and ease the housework on you.
Last edited by restricted on 18 Jun 2021, 15:32, edited 1 time in total.
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BlindMike
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Re: Do I need to be worried?

Post by BlindMike »

I absolutely love wearing leggings. I would hazard a guess that I would have more pairs than most women. And also pantyhose. Just love them. I wear them all the time.
JulieAnn99
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Re: Do I need to be worried?

Post by JulieAnn99 »

Thank you for all your replies. It turned out to be more simple than I had imagined.
The leotard and tights came from when he was part of a stage show, before we met.
And Arthur is on the mark. He had to keep pulling up the tights because he had lost weight. (And he admits a leotard is a too-warm solution during the summer.)
So I think I have helped him by finding tights with a wide waistband in one of my female-clothes catalogs. (Three boring black and one "sweatpants grey."
I gave them to him for his birthday. He's happy as a clam. Right now cutting grass without wasting (no pun intended) energy on pulling them up all the time.
Thanks, guys!
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kinbaku
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Re: Do I need to be worried?

Post by kinbaku »

JulieAnn99 wrote:Thank you for all your replies. It turned out to be more simple than I had imagined.
The leotard and tights came from when he was part of a stage show, before we met.
And Arthur is on the mark. He had to keep pulling up the tights because he had lost weight. (And he admits a leotard is a too-warm solution during the summer.)
So I think I have helped him by finding tights with a wide waistband in one of my female-clothes catalogs. (Three boring black and one "sweatpants grey."
I gave them to him for his birthday. He's happy as a clam. Right now cutting grass without wasting (no pun intended) energy on pulling them up all the time.
Thanks, guys!
Well resolved. Good luck in your further married life. :love:
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