Has anyone lost the desire to do this?

Crossdressing as a part of or type of selfbondage.
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Natybound
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Has anyone lost the desire to do this?

Post by Natybound »

Yes, I know this happens to everyone at some point. But this time I feel it's something different. I have time without getting dressed but I have not stopped doing it because I feel it is wrong (as in other opportunities). If I wanted to do it I could do it without problems but for some reason that I'm still analyzing I don't feel as much desire as before. Has this happened to anyone in the group? or is it happening to you now? :?:
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Gregovic
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Re: Has anyone lost the desire to do this?

Post by Gregovic »

Our likes and dislikes can change over time. It's probably fine if you just don't feel any interest in crossdressing for a while. Be careful though if you start losing interest in other (or most) stuff you used to enjoy in the past, because that can be a sign of a depression.

But yeah, it's fine not to feel like it. I've had similar periods where it just doesn't give much enjoyment and I focus on other stuff. Eventually the desire/will/enjoyment returned again. The binge/purge cycle is a known phenomenon, be careful about just throwing anything or everything away, because you might regret it later.
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Re: Has anyone lost the desire to do this?

Post by Onixpected »

I agree with what Gregovic said.
I've lost interest on some things over the course of my life too. Times change, and wills change as well.
It also depends on how often you do an activity (not nessesairly CD). Probably you started it long time ago, and have experienced the activity many, many times that there's that point where the initial thrill starts to decrease. People can change how they do a certain activity, but the basic motive behind it is nearly the same. The human kind wants to try new stuff, and we get bored with ease over time, specially while doing the same thing again and again.
As an example, I've read stuff from people that are/were self-bondage enthusiasts but, over time, they reached to that point that SB wouldn't satisfy them anymore and they moved to try to find an actual bondage partner, in order to deep further into their fantasies.

In my case, when it comes to SB/CD, as I'm able to do sessions so few times (due to still living with my family) that I never lost the desire. It's quite the opposite, I feel a bit sorry for not being able to do it more often, specially for me that it not only brings me pleasure but also helps to relieve my stress, and there's days I keep fantasising all the time myself doing it or planning/imagining my next session. It will be over soon tho, I plan to move next year.

Back to the topic, losing that flaming interest sometimes is normal. It may have to do with your current state of mind, or it may also have to do with your momentary interests. As Gregovic said, people's likes/dislikes change over time. I guess it's normal, it may be "gone" now but can return anytime soon :hi: .
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Shannon SteelSlave
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Re: Has anyone lost the desire to do this?

Post by Shannon SteelSlave »

This topic has been discussed. Maybe this will help : viewtopic.php?f=15&t=7559&hilit=purge
But that is not why I am here. I have defined depression as a total loss of interest in all things. It may be depression if you can't think of a single to do. If you have other hobbies, I would say engage them. When I do anything for too long, things get wound too tight. I find it necessary to scale it back and do something else when this happens, whatever it is.
Let us know how this works out. I don't want to go off on an obscure tangent that possibly does not apply to your situation.
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kinbaku
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Re: Has anyone lost the desire to do this?

Post by kinbaku »

Try out other things too: a change of food makes you eat. That way you bridge this period where you feel less for crossdressing. You can always come back later, but you may discover other things about yourself that you may prefer to do.
See this temporary uncertainty as a challenge and not as a loss, if it is in you it will definitely return. :hi:
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Re: Has anyone lost the desire to do this?

Post by Natybound »

Gregovic wrote:Our likes and dislikes can change over time. It's probably fine if you just don't feel any interest in crossdressing for a while. Be careful though if you start losing interest in other (or most) stuff you used to enjoy in the past, because that can be a sign of a depression.
Shannon SteelSlave wrote:I have defined depression as a total loss of interest in all things. It may be depression if you can't think of a single to do. If you have other hobbies, I would say engage them. When I do anything for too long, things get wound too tight. I find it necessary to scale it back and do something else when this happens, whatever it is.
Let us know how this works out. I don't want to go off on an obscure tangent that possibly does not apply to your situation.
Thank you for caring about me. I'm totally sure it is not depression. The rest of my life is OK, no problem at all. :)

It's just that I'm very struck by this lack of desire to do it, just like that, for no apparent reason.
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Re: Has anyone lost the desire to do this?

Post by Natybound »

Gregovic wrote:be careful about just throwing anything or everything away, because you might regret it later.
...by the way, I don't plan on throwing anything away :lol:
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Re: Has anyone lost the desire to do this?

Post by Natybound »

Onixpected wrote: Probably you started it long time ago, and have experienced the activity many, many times that there's that point where the initial thrill starts to decrease
Maybe that's where the shots are coming from. I think I have that feeling of "Okay, that's it, I've killed the urge. Let's do something else" :mrgreen:
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Re: Has anyone lost the desire to do this?

Post by Shannon SteelSlave »

Natybound wrote:Thank you for caring about me. I'm totally sure it is not depression. The rest of my life is OK, no problem at all. :) It's just that I'm very struck by this lack of desire to do it, just like that, for no apparent reason.
Boredom, huh? I say leave it. If the desire to do it again does not return, then it is not meant to be. I am not sure how you feel about that, losing this way to express yourself, but most people I read about go through this, and eventually return, with a vengeance.
Either way does not mean you have to stop posting here. You can still help others with advice and support. I don't play many kinky games with my collection of chains, ropes and gags these days, due to a currently hectic schedule, but I maintain a presence here, offering my experience in self bondage and DIY. I am also trying to create a program we can all enjoy, one that I am surprised does not exist yet.
Anytime you want to talk, just sign in and post. The forum isn't just for people who only live for kink. It's for learning and sharing solutions for everyday life and overcoming obstacles as a "different" person.
Bondage is like a foreign film without subtitles. Only through sharing and practice can we hope to understand.
A Jedi uses bondage for knowledge and defense, never for attack.
I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T!....I, I mean S-M-A-R-T!
👠👠
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Onixpected
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Re: Has anyone lost the desire to do this?

Post by Onixpected »

Natybound wrote:
Onixpected wrote: Probably you started it long time ago, and have experienced the activity many, many times that there's that point where the initial thrill starts to decrease
Maybe that's where the shots are coming from. I think I have that feeling of "Okay, that's it, I've killed the urge. Let's do something else" :mrgreen:
Yea, you probably should leave it aside for now, who knows if some time without CD will help rekindle that flame? :lol:

Natybound wrote: Thank you for caring about me. I'm totally sure it is not depression. The rest of my life is OK, no problem at all. :)

It's just that I'm very struck by this lack of desire to do it, just like that, for no apparent reason.
Also, glad to read that it's all OK with your life :o It would be worse if it would be any kind of bad problem hindering your desires.
Try to do something to vary why you CD. Probably some sort of challenge that gives you a different motivation to do it.
I assume you enjoy SB as well, do you usually CD for your sessions too, or just randomly on the day?
"Self-bondage is my way to relax."
"Bondage is about freeing your mind to experience something greater." :gag:
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Re: Has anyone lost the desire to do this?

Post by BoundInKasugai »

Natybound wrote:Maybe that's where the shots are coming from. I think I have that feeling of "Okay, that's it, I've killed the urge. Let's do something else" :mrgreen:
Yes, very much so. Plus it is a lot of effort, corset, makeup. Sometimes I just want to watch the next episode of a tv series I am really into :)
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Re: Has anyone lost the desire to do this?

Post by Natybound »

Shannon SteelSlave wrote:I am not sure how you feel about that, losing this way to express yourself, but most people I read about go through this, and eventually return, with a vengeance.
With a vengeance? How so? :rofl:
Shannon SteelSlave wrote:Either way does not mean you have to stop posting here. You can still help others with advice and support. I don't play many kinky games with my collection of chains, ropes and gags these days, due to a currently hectic schedule, but I maintain a presence here, offering my experience in self bondage and DIY. I am also trying to create a program we can all enjoy, one that I am surprised does not exist yet.
Anytime you want to talk, just sign in and post. The forum isn't just for people who only live for kink. It's for learning and sharing solutions for everyday life and overcoming obstacles as a "different" person.
Absolutely. I will not stop visiting and writing in the blog. I still enjoy all this, it just seems to change the way I do it :)
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Re: Has anyone lost the desire to do this?

Post by Natybound »

Onixpected wrote:Yea, you probably should leave it aside for now, who knows if some time without CD will help rekindle that flame? :lol:
Yes, it is possible. I'd better give it some time because today I think I'd need a flamethrower to rekindle the flame. :rofl:
Onixpected wrote:Also, glad to read that it's all OK with your life :o It would be worse if it would be any kind of bad problem hindering your desires.
Try to do something to vary why you CD. Probably some sort of challenge that gives you a different motivation to do it.
I assume you enjoy SB as well, do you usually CD for your sessions too, or just randomly on the day?
For me, SB and CD are always together, I rarely practice them separately
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Re: Has anyone lost the desire to do this?

Post by Natybound »

BoundInKasugai wrote:
Natybound wrote:Maybe that's where the shots are coming from. I think I have that feeling of "Okay, that's it, I've killed the urge. Let's do something else" :mrgreen:
Yes, very much so. Plus it is a lot of effort, corset, makeup. Sometimes I just want to watch the next episode of a tv series I am really into :)
Yes, I wonder if it's just laziness. Looking pretty and helpless takes time :rofl: :facepalm:
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Re: Has anyone lost the desire to do this?

Post by Onixpected »

Natybound wrote: For me, SB and CD are always together, I rarely practice them separately
I see :o generally for me too. Though I enjoy wearing stockings/pantyhose on the streets when I hang out, but hidden under my slim trousers. I do this sometimes, and I found it fun, since I can be kinky in public but nobody knows hehe :twisted:
CD is quite the setup for every SB session for those who elaborate more than me. My fetish is hose&heels, so naked with them and then it's done! :) But yea, makeups, upper bodies, bras, dresses, wigs...it's a lot of set up to do again and again :|
But I really need to get a pair of heels (round toe pumps) when I move from my current house tho! It's the absolutely first thing I'll order, with a set of leather cuffs+ballgag, since I can only use rope and homemade ballgag atm :mrgreen:
"Self-bondage is my way to relax."
"Bondage is about freeing your mind to experience something greater." :gag:
"There are 10 types of people in this world. Those who understand binary numeric system, and those who don't."
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