My story so far...

Crossdressing as a part of or type of selfbondage.

My story so far...

Postby more_secure » 25 Apr 2020, 16:42

Having a bit more time these days I just thought I’d share an insight into the last 15 ish years of my life getting more involved with CD-ing. I’ve always been fascinated with the psychology of it and it probably comes from some experience years ago or some self-ego reflection and the will to experiment over the course of my sexual adult life. Who knows. I guess technically the story begins about 15 ish years ago when I threw a Halloween party and a female friend of a friend, who got changed at my house, ended up leaving her sexy red fishnet stockings in my bedroom. They were part of her costume. She never claimed them back and I kept them for reasons unexplainable, probably total curiosity. During those days I had a vanilla gf but was also doing a lot of SB sessions ‘on the side’ so the fishnets just naturally got absorbed into my kink box as it was the best hiding place at the time.

One day I decided to incorporate them into a session, just because, and they gave an especially naughty edge to things, given that they were a striking red colour and felt graceful against the skin - not to mention they were uncomfortable, but in a nice way. Furthermore, they were an artefact that I had hidden under the bed away from my gf’s knowledge and overtime became a burning secret - even more than the huge box of bdsm gear I had stashed under there, most of which was heavy duty metal and leather gear, but that’s another story.

Anyway, over the next few months, the stockings kept finding their way into my SB sessions. Insert a few years and I acquired a couple of bras and lace panties, which is another story too, that also heightened my fetish experiences in SB. I never wanted to be caught in the act but the sensation of potentially being found dressed up in absolutely unexplainable female saucy underwear just knocked the ball out the park for me.

A few sizeable purchases of fetish clothes later bought with my gf at the time, to the tune of several hundred £££’s and the collection was growing, except I had a dilemma. I had the genuine collection, the one purchased in the knowledge of my current partner and the secret one that had been burning a hole in my wardrobe, just waiting to be discovered! One doesn’t have to be an expert to know that a discovery of saucy female foreign undies would be super difficult to explain!

More time elapsed and after a breakup, my ex left me with what appeared to be the entire collection that we had collected, when she moved out. It was kinda fair, given that I had paid for it all, but that’s besides the point! At this point I had amassed a couple of large boxes full of feminine fetish gear, on top of all the other boxes of bondage and bdsm stuff! Being newly single, I turned to SB once more (kinda nice to get back into the game after a longish relationship). The box(es) of gear played a leading roll and by this point I was starting to realise that I only needed a few more items to create the perfect scenes in total privacy. I was living alone at the time (last year) and could easily be left alone for hours and all night without any disturbances. Things started to get more creative than ever, with the hundreds of eye-watering combinations available, but it wasn’t quite finished yet!

Up to this point I realised I just had to complete the transformation from just simply dressing in women’s clothes to looking like a female fetish model. I did some research and landed upon a very agreeable supplier of plus-sized high heels and at a very good price. I bought them from AliExpress. They were the lockable ones, shiny red and totally impossible to explain away! Over the course of a few months I kept purchasing and purchasing, corsets, stockings, suspender belts, thigh high boots, pvc, more heels and various other bondage gear to complement the look (turns out AliExpress is well stocked and very affordable!). This brings me up to present day. The more I browse around, it seems I have only just scratched the surface on my CD quest. I have learned that it is something that I participate in behind closed doors and I (currently) don’t have the intention to walk around in public dressed as a woman (although I’d happily be dressed up underneath my daywear...!). It’s a side of me that most, if not all of, my friends would be surprised to discover, although I am confident and openly descriptive about my kinks to the right audience.

The next logical step seems to be buying fake breasts and possibly fake hair - after all, lingerie is designed for the female form and would look even more striking. It’s like being able to create your own porn scene - as filthy as you want ;-)

So, any tips for the next steps? I am currently favouring the idea of buying silicone fake boobs and have done some research (can send a link if useful) but I think that this will open the flood gates to wanting to buy and try more eye-popping combinations, especially with the cleavage and bust!

Hope others can relate to my experience or have other stories they’d wish to share.
== I put on a mask to reveal my true identity ==
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Re: My story so far...

Postby Shannon SteelSlave » 28 Apr 2020, 17:50

It sounds like your interest is growing quickly, and that you are afraid it may become an addiction. For the next steps, you would have to ask yourself, and think hard before you answer yourself, how afraid are you that your friends, family, or work associates will discover your secret?
Bondage is like a foreign film without subtitles. Only through sharing and practice can we hope to understand.
A Jedi uses bondage for knowledge and defense, never for attack.
I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T!....I, I mean S-M-A-R-T!
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Re: My story so far...

Postby BoundInKasugai » 04 May 2020, 12:52

Thanks more_secure for sharing, very relatable.
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Re: My story so far...

Postby more_secure » 17 May 2020, 15:17

Cheers, glad you can relate. @Shannon SteelSlave - I have thought about that a lot, friends and family knowing about my preferences, but to me it's a need to know only basis - the people close to me in my life (private life mainly) would find out in correct circumstances, or for example in the bedroom or at events and clubs, but other than that everybody else would be none the wiser. It's like I wouldn't tell my family about a heavy night on drugs and alcohol (not something to be proud of usually!) or even my financial affairs tbh, or general sexual preferences so this is just another kink in the box!
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