Back to life.....

Anything that does not fit any of the other categories.
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curious_sb
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Back to life.....

Post by curious_sb »

...back to reality!

Apart from wondering exactly who sang that song,.....

...does anyone sit on the bus or train and think "What are the chances of me brushing past a forum member on this coach?".

Its a daft question isnt it? But I do wonder with so many members, several UK members, what the chances of being in the same proximity albeit unwittingly?

It also made me think how ignorant we are as a nation, For example I could be sitting there next to MisQui on a train to London, We'd not talk for the entire journey, and then get on like a house on fire on the forum later that evening?

Maybe we should all have a secret silly walk or something?

Saying that it also begs the question that maybe we would not necessarily want to meet up for real,

I just sit there listening to my iPod sometimes looking at other people trying to clock if they are secretly into SB or CDing and whether I have spoken to them on the forums or not, and trying to guess what their avatar is or might be called,

So many what if's.

This is a stupid post I know but Im just having one of those deep and meaningfuls, Just wondered if anyone else did the same sort of thing.

Look forward to hearing the responses..
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Michelle
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Post by Michelle »

Hey Curious_sb,

This is not a stupid post at all. In fact, I find it quite interesting. Maybe it's a coincidence but just today (no joke) I found myself looking at a girl in a short skirt and nice dark green tights.
I started asking myself if maybe she wore them because she likes wearing tights (it's not the first time I see her wearing tights). Without wanting to be too obvious, I was almost hoping she would notice I was checking her legs, and would try and tease me with them :)
I also agree with your comment about meeting someone from this forum. As much as it can be tempting to think about it, I think it's probably better that it doesn't happen and that we can continue to "fantasize" and make up our own thoughts about what we look like.
For example, those of us who read a lot of posts on this forum slowly develop our preferred members, and the member name is important also. You associate the name with the kind of posts submitted, and before you know it you make up an image in your mind of that person.
Anyway I guess what I'm saying is as curious as I may be to see what each of you look like, I think it would (overall) have a negative impact to the main reason why were here.

I look forward also to read other posts on this topic.

:wink:
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Post by misQui »

I've wondered about that before. While I was still studying, I would sometimes be in a lecture theatre with maybe 200 students in it. So I'd be thinking that's around 100 blokes which makes it fairly unlikely that I'm the only CDer. Or out of the 100 or so girls, I wonder if any of them will go home and spend their evening tying themselves up.
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anna
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Re: Back to life.....

Post by anna »

curious_sb wrote:...does anyone sit on the bus or train and think "What are the chances of me brushing past a forum member on this coach?".
I have had those thoughts some times but there are not many members from my country here so I guess the chance / risk is minimal I would ever meet anyone without knowing it. Actually I would not want to meet anyone from this forum. Not because I do not like you all but because I do not want to mix my two lives. I do not think I could ever base a friendship on a common interest in selfbondage, it is to personal for me. But I guess that there is a lot of members out there that would love to meet up and the thought about having some type of secret symbol or something to help other member know of our shared interest is interesting.

Your "silly walk" suggestion would probably work great for attracting the attention of other members without causing any suspicion among the general public. :lol:
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Post by dracae »

I never really thought about meeting people from this forum, but when I am out in public I can't help but think about that some of these people around me are maybe also into these things. Maybe one of them is wearing a chastity belt? Maybe one is thinking about a scenario for the evening? It always makes me wonder...
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Post by curious_sb »

Yay I'm pleased I'm not the only one that thinks these things....
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Post by Michelle »

I like the "silly walk" suggestion. Should we agree on a "signal" to show that we are a member of this forum? Something that would be transparent to strangers, but obvious to us?
What I like about this idea is that those who think we shouldn't meet don't have to do anything, while those who would be interested would?
Ideally it should be some kind of gesture. Not something we would have to wear. That way you don't have to remember to wear something every single day. If you're somewhere and you notice someone and wonder if he/she could be a member, you would simply have to "do the signal" when the person is looking in your direction...
But lets say you do meet someone. Then what...?
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Post by willing »

Something like touching your ear and if in reaction the other does it too, you know it.
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Post by puppydogbytes »

I remember hearing about an electronic 'gaydar' device a while ago but it may just have been an idea someone was talking and not a real product as I just looked on Google and didn't find it.
Anyway the idea intrigued me, it was kind of in the same vain as the silly walk/secret symbol thing but a bit more high tech.

The idea was this; It was a small electronic device you put in your pocket which sent out a low power radio signal - it also listened for signals from other similar devices and vibrated when it found another device in range (the range was only a few meters) so then you could work out who had the other device.

Just doing a bit of digging around I found this article on the lovegety which is kind of similar.

That said, like Anna I don't think I'd really want to meet people 'in the flesh' to have these kind of discussions. I can only really be open when things are this anonymous....
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Post by Dark_Lizerd »

Here's a thought...
Preveous classroom, 200 people, 100 guys 100 girls...
out of that 200, if 100 were kinky or into bondage,
they would still need to go to this site to find out if a secrect signal has been created. If every site set up a secret sign to identify members, what do you think your chance would be to identify someone from another site???
Just think (againist the odds but,) if everyone was into bondage, it is possible that no 2 people in the room...
go online looking for bondage ideas find the same site
sign on to the same forums...
... the negative list was going to be longer, but you see where I am going...

There could be 10 people in that class are looking for someone, but who is going to stand up first and shout...

"I am into bondage and I like tying myself up and want someone to play with that I can tie up or be tied up by.... any takers???"

If someone did that, would you stand up and say.. "ME!!!"

I know I couldn't!..
:cry:
Altho, you may be able to count the red faces and know... :oops:
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Post by Grinser »

Hmm, with me that would be no prblem, I have absolutely no problem with telling anybody about my sexual preferences (although I admit, being a Dominant is probably a little less embarassing, although people tend to reduce you to "the guy that likes to beat up women") on the other hand, I don`t like people to know details. Most guys that I know, who are in a relationship tend to boast with their girls and tell around how much sex they have and the like... I on the other hand have met my girl almost half a year ago and even my best friend doesn`t know I am in a relationship... I don`t know, guess I don`t need all that boasting, because I know how much fun I have and thats enough for me...

Regarding the signal... the most commonly known signal for BDSM interests is probably the ring of [insert name, don`t remember it right now], which is essentially a ring with a smaller ring attchached. Depending on what hand you wear it, it indicates wheter you are a dominant or a submissive. Seems to be quite common in the scene, although I don`t recall ever having seen one consciously.


btw, I once talked to a sub, and she said, whenever the topic comes up, she only would tell people she was into pain, and thay actually responded very well, because they respected her for being so tough to actually like pain.

[edit] Without those two typos I guess its easier to understand...
Last edited by Grinser on 28 Oct 2007, 12:24, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by LoRee »

While I am an incredibly curious individual, I lack an enormous desire to know whether I might be sitting next to, or across from, another lifestyler on the train or bus. I tend to mind my own business and respect peoples privacy. While I am NOT shy at all about my orientation, I don't readily advertise it for the obvious reasons that A) it tends to put some people off, and B) there are simply TOO many self-righteous people who live for giving others grief for not adhering to "Societal Norms". Some of the later are openly hostile.
You know it's kind of sad that so many of us share a common interest like B&D, S&M, D/s, and SB (with varying degrees of passion) yet so many only feel comfortable sharing that online. I would be a liar if I said I understood WHY people wouldn't want to meet others they readily have something in common with the way we do here on the forum. We have all read posts by members here who suddenly regret making them because they decided all of a sudden they want to remain anonymous. Haven't a clue why some feel that way, I just know that is a fact. I am always ready to meet and play with new people, and respect the privacy of those who wish to continue to lurk in the online shadows.
I've already shared my photo and video clips with quite a few of you. EVERYBODY who visits this forum and can read knows what country, state, and city I live in. I would be more than happy to meet, play with, host, and put up for the nite any forum member who visits San Antonio.
While I would LOVE to meet our esteemed Administratrix, I would NEVER dream of violating her privacy.

As for the "silly walk" suggestion, we don't have a Silly Walk Ministry here in the states, so we are at a bit of a loss here. :mrgreen:

Grinser wrote:
. . . because they respected her for being so though th actually like pain.
Could you clarify what you were trying to say here for me please?
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Post by Grinser »

sure, what I meant was, If she told people, she was into being tied up and ordered around, people usually wouldn`t understand and make fun about it, but if she told people she liked pain and even got a thrill out of it, most were like "wow, she is so tough, she is actually turned on by pain". So the general idea here is that the majority seems to think "submission= weak, masochism=tough" . Hope it was clearer now.
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Post by curious_sb »

loree wrote:You know it's kind of sad that so many of us share a common interest like B&D, S&M, D/s, and SB (with varying degrees of passion) yet so many only feel comfortable sharing that online.
I think you nailled it right there, I mean, I'd both love to but be scared to, find out exactly who is into the scene on my local transport system, yet again if we had a secret handshake or ring or pendant to look out for, would we be brave enough to go up an say hello, and whats more what if you were approached? How would you (seriously) react in real life?

It is much more easy to talk freely online, I have much more time to think about what I want to say and I can delete whole paragraph's of text before I finally submit each post and I don't have to worry about your body language and immediate reaction to what I say (eg red face), and there's no pressure on me to say anything at all. I think in real life even if I had the bottle to try and talk about this with a stranger I would clam up and want to die of embarrassment.

Like I said at the beginning, its just a fantasy I think about while I listen to the haunting melodies of Kats-Chernin on my iPod as I gaze into the reflections in the windows of all the other passengers on the train/bus and I think to myself what all the other people have got planned for tonight...and whether they are into kink too.

Im pleased that other people also think the same sort of things, and in those that didnt, I hope to have sparked a new sense of intrugue into other peoples lives and just provoke new levels of thought.






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Post by bdbgum »

Like I said at the beginning, its just a fantasy I think about while I listen to the haunting melodies of Kats-Chernin on my iPod as I gaze into the reflections in the windows of all the other passengers on the train/bus and I think to myself what all the other people have got planned for tonight...and whether they are into kink too.
Hey, it's normal looking for people with the same interests/hobby... it's just the 'hobby' that isn't very normal... :lol:

A symbol or something alike would be pretty cool... I like that kind of 'mysterious' stuff B)
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