How to get started

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Jay21
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Joined: 13 Mar 2023, 16:33

How to get started

Post by Jay21 »

Hi

I am a male aged 45 who lives on his own. I used to cross dress every weekend and would sit there for hours
On end being transformed and happy in my women’s clothing of choice.
This would satisfy me to a degree however I have the urge to be tied up for a few hours with no escape, I used to
Handcuff myself but always had a way out so never got that satisfaction of being completely helpless.

One of my ultimate fantasies would be to dress as a woman and be hogtied for a few hours completely at the mercy of another, nothing sexual just being dominated would be something new to explore. In my everyday line of work I always tell people what to do, at the weekends it would be nice if someone told me what to do if only for an afternoon.

I would not even know where to get started with this? Any advice
Thanks
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Shannon SteelSlave
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Location: New England, USA

Re: How to get started

Post by Shannon SteelSlave »

Aloha from Bound Anna, Jay.
Depending on your location, a munch might be in order. You can meet people of similar interest who will respect your boundaries and limitations, and might be happy to accommodate.
Bondage is like a foreign film without subtitles. Only through sharing and practice can we hope to understand.
A Jedi uses bondage for knowledge and defense, never for attack.
I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T!....I, I mean S-M-A-R-T!
👠👠
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kinbaku
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Re: How to get started

Post by kinbaku »

Welcome to BoundAnna, Jay21.

Fill a coffee cup halfway with water and place it in the freezer.
Unfold a paper clip so it can be used to double block your handcuffs.
Once the water has frozen, put your 2 keys of your handcuffs in the cup. Then fill it with water and put the coffee cup back in the freezer.

At the weekend you cross dress and tie everything well with a belt, take the coffee cup out of the fridge and tie it with zip ties to a table leg.
Now put on your handcuffs and double lock them on your back (impossible to undo the belt, and so the clothes).

You must now wait until the ice has melted before you can release the handcuffs, belt and clothes.

Do a test beforehand to see how much water you need to use; to avoid being tied up for longer than that weekend. :shock: :mrgreen:
Jay21
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Joined: 13 Mar 2023, 16:33

Re: How to get started

Post by Jay21 »

Thank you for the replies, this is useful information.
Forgive me but what is munch night?
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Shannon SteelSlave
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Location: New England, USA

Re: How to get started

Post by Shannon SteelSlave »

A munch is a gathering of players of BDSM and cross dressers
Bondage is like a foreign film without subtitles. Only through sharing and practice can we hope to understand.
A Jedi uses bondage for knowledge and defense, never for attack.
I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T!....I, I mean S-M-A-R-T!
👠👠
lj
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Location: East Anglia, UK

Re: How to get started

Post by lj »

Shannon SteelSlave wrote:A munch is a gathering of players of BDSM and cross dressers
If I might add to Shannon's reply ?

A munch is indeed a gathering of kinky people, often at a bar, cafe, restaurant or other public meeting place, occasionally at someone's house, in a park, at the beach etc. Because it is public, almost all munches appear "vanilla", just a group of friends meeting to chat. Fetish clothing is usually not acceptable, and cross-dressing comes into that category unless the person REALLY passes as the displayed gender. The intention is not to make the gathering look like a load of fetishists, as this can have all manner of problems for the venue owners and the rest of their customers. (I know this, having been a Munch Organiser for 6 years)

If you have yet to venture into the kink world (except on a solo basis) you need to get known and trusted - most of us would not wish to broadcast our kink life, so we need to know newcomers are genuine, and a munch is a good place to make contacts, make friends and show you are OK - it's a two-way process. Over time you will hopefully get accepted and invited to kink events, perhaps at people's homes, and if you are lucky, find some who share your kink interests, which may develop into a relationship or simply find those happy to share a "play" session occasionally. You will also get to find out about play events run usually by fellow kinksters that are open to anyone, in a club, hotel, campsite, which can further extend your experience - you could even help run one.

This is how I got started in the kink world, worked for me... (including being hog-tied and cross-dressed :roll: )
be a switch, double the fun :-)
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Shannon SteelSlave
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Re: How to get started

Post by Shannon SteelSlave »

Thanx LJ. I knew I could count on you. I just didn't want to call you out.
Bondage is like a foreign film without subtitles. Only through sharing and practice can we hope to understand.
A Jedi uses bondage for knowledge and defense, never for attack.
I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T!....I, I mean S-M-A-R-T!
👠👠
Jay21
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Joined: 13 Mar 2023, 16:33

Re: How to get started

Post by Jay21 »

Thank you lj for your in depth response it is much appreciated and I feel
Like I’ve learned a little more thanks to your replies. I will figure out how
Far I want to take and go with my ideas, I’d like to think I have the nerve
And confidence to take the next step.
Many thanks
lj
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Location: East Anglia, UK

Re: How to get started

Post by lj »

Hi jay21 (and others :) )

Munches, like the people who attend, vary considerably, and munches vary with country as well. I can only speak for UK munches, I know US munches are different simply because of cultural differences (UK munches often meet in pubs, whilst the US seem to favour bars - not the same as pubs - and restaurants - US members please correct this if I am wrong)

You are likely to find munches if you log into Fetlife, which has become fairly universal as a centre for finding kink in many countries. Search for local munches, check their Fetlife pages, join their groups and read the posts from members to get a feel for how the munch operates, who runs it and general attitudes. If you find one that looks likely, message the organiser. You will get a good idea of the munch from the response you get. If the reply is friendly, informative and includes an invitation to come along and meet the organiser/other hosts at a munch meeting, you can be fairly confident that it is a good munch. When I was an organiser, that is what you would get, plus an invitation to meet one-to-one at a public place, a cafe or similar, to allow questions in a non-threatening environment - declining the invitation is not a wrong move and wouldn't be taken that way. Some like to meet a friendly person to chat with, before arriving at a munch, others may view it as a risk.

Conversations at a munch are not exclusively kink orientated, nobody should make any judgements about your kinks, if you choose to disclose them - it isn't mandatory! Some newbies sit in a corner and say nothing, others dive into conversation, or anywhere in between. It's mainly about getting to know people. Walking into a munch for the first time is, for most people, the hardest part. After that you wish you had done it earlier!
be a switch, double the fun :-)
Jay21
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Joined: 13 Mar 2023, 16:33

Re: How to get started

Post by Jay21 »

You guys are amazing with your information so many thanks.
Never even heard of fetlife.
I now have the platform and I think confidence to explore, let’s see how things go.
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Riddle
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Re: How to get started

Post by Riddle »

On Fetlife, some people (especially females) receive too many random private messages from complete strangers and don’t want any more of them. It is better to find groups and events local to you and post in them. Private messages are usually better received after you meet them in person and they have given you their Fetlife name. Be sure to read, understand, and follow the instructions, rules, and other information on someone’s profile if and when you do decide to send a private message. Some fools ask to be submissive to those who identify as submissive and others try to dominate those who identify as dominant. Neither one gets anything other than possibly being blocked by the recipient.

Another common issue is people who are expecting a response, meet up, or relationship to immediately happen when they message someone. Unlike dating or hookup sites, most Fetlife users are not interested in those relationships because they are satisfied with their current relationships and are not interested in getting another romantic partner. They are on FetLife simply because they want to communicate with others. Some only want to communicate with people they know in person. Others also like the various groups. Very few Fetlife users participate in the hookup groups local to them.

I hope you are successful with navigating the Fetlife groups and the community local to you. If you have any questions about that site, feel free to ask us here. Someone here probably knows the answer and will be happy to help.
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