A recipe for Accurate Artificial Cum (AAC)
version of 9/2011
PiJoy
For those of you kinksters who are interested, here are my notes and my recipe for the most Accurate artificial cum (abbreviated AAC) I’ve been able to devise. This recipe uses more ingredients than some others and also uses some unconventional ingredients, namely salt substitute, household bleach and Caffeine tablets. If you don’t feel comfortable using any of my ingredients, feel free to leave them out or substitute as you see fit. My goal was to devise a cum substitute, that I could make in quantity, that was as accurate in appearance, smell, taste and feel (namely viscosity) as I could make, using reasonably easy to get ingredients. I adjusted the thickeners to make it have the desired consistency be about right at body temperature; it’s thinner when warmer, and thicker below. (At refrigerator temperatures, it’s a jello-like solid.) It’s easy to warm it up in a microwave oven, so long as your container is microwave safe. Of course, appearance, taste, smell and feel are very subjective things, so feel free to adjust as you see fit. Comments and suggestions are very welcome.
Disclaimer, I am not any sort of medical, pharmaceutical, chemical or health professional. I did some research, and also experimented on myself (consumed over 5 cups), to date without harm. Not all at the same time, though! My max per session consumption to date was two cups, with no ill effects. Use this recipe at your own risk.
For those of you wanting info toward making an even more accurate artificial cum, following are some links that give information about concentrations of ions in plasma, and another that gives detailed info on concentrations of various ions, sugars etc. in human ejaculate, as well as viscosity:
website with a chemical analysis of human electrolytes:
http://www.medicinenet.com/electrolytes/article.htm
website with a chemical analysis of cum, including a (rather difficult to make at home!) research AC recipe:
http://www.andrologyjournal.org/cgi/reprint/26/4/459
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Some background and notes on the safety of household bleach in something a human can safely consume, like bleach-disinfected water:
One of the ingredients of my AAC recipe is household bleach, but diluted. This makes the smell more realistic, and it also helps preserve it. Note that any recipe containing sugar (or starch, or eggwhite) and no preservative is going to spoil, sooner or later. So please be careful regarding spoilage, no matter what recipe you use.
Common instructions for purifying water for drinking typically use ¼ to ½ teaspoon of household bleach, per gallon. those ratios are 1:3072 and 1: 1536 of bleach to water. Check the concentration of your bleach, and adjust accordingly. The concentration on Chlorox brand bleach I purchased in the US, as of 2011, is 6%,
Another website,
http://www.survivalistboards.com/showthread.php?t=1341 which links to
http://www.i4at.org/surv/bleach.htm
(which is allegedly the text from a Chlorox ad.)
indicates that 3 teaspoons (AKA one tablespoon) per gallon of water makes an acceptable sterilizing solution (that is apparently not very harmful.) So we can experiment somewhat, with 1:256 being on the high side, and 1:3072 probably not enough to give the solution the “memorable” smell effect I desired (and also retard spoilage.) Again, check the concentration of your bleach, and adjust accordingly.
If you are uncomfortable with bleach in something you (or playmates) are going to consume, then by all means, LEAVE IT OUT!
My quantified recipe for AAC (Accurate Artificial Cum) follows.
Equipment:
* Microwave oven
* Microwave-safe container, 1 quart/liter or larger
* 1 cup measure (8 Oz, or 250 mL)
* 1 Tablespoon measuring spoon (or 1 teaspoon measure)
* ¼ teaspoon measuring spoon
* fork or whisk for mixing
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Ingredients for just over 1 cup (500 mL) of AAC:
Water: 1 cup (250 mL)
Thickeners:
* Corn starch, 3 teaspoons (15 mL)
* Unflavored Gelatin, 3 teaspoons (15 mL)
Ionics (salt like ingredients):
* Table salt (NaCl) ¼ teaspoon (1.25 mL)
* Salt Substitute (pure Possasium Chloride, if possible), ¼ teaspoon (1.25 mL)
* Baking soda (Sodium BiCarbonate, NaHCO3), ¼ teaspoon (1.25 mL)
Sweetener:
* High fructose corn syrup, 3 teaspoons (15 mL)
Smell/preservative:
* Optional, Household bleach (6% Sodium Hypochlorite), , ¼ teaspoon (1.25 mL)
(This is a ratio of 1 part bleach to 200 parts water, slightly more than in the disinfecting solution linked to above. Halve or quarter this if you are concerned, or leave it out entirely)
Bitter (optional):
* 100 mg Caffiene, half a 200 mg tablet, finely crushed (e.g. in a folded paper plate)
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Instructions:
* Measure out thickeners into a dry, microwave-safe container
* Measure out the water into a separate container
* Measure and add each of the ionic (salt-like) ingredients to the thickeners
* Stir the dry mix well with a fork.
* Add a small amount of water, roughly equal to the volume of the combined thickeners and stir until there are no lumps.
* Add more water gradually, while continuing to stir and break up lumps.
* Continue adding water and mixing until all the water is added, and the mix is as lump free as you can get it.
* Warm in microwave (approx. 2 minutes total (per cup), but use 30 second intervals until you know how long to boil in your microwave), until just boiling.
Watch carefully for boil-overs, because viscous AAC mix traps bubbles and is prone to boil over!
* Add the corn syrup to the hot mixture and stir well.
* Cool to room (or body) temperature.
* Optional, add bleach and stir well. I suggest adding only half (or less), then taste, then add the rest, if desired.
* Optional, add Caffeine and stir well (may require warming slightly to get the Caffeine to dissolve in.) I suggest adding only half, then taste, then add the rest, if desired.
The bleach should not only give this a realistic smell, but it should help prevent (or at least delay) spoilage. This should last well over a week in the refrigerator, and possibly even longer, but use your eyes, nose and common sense, as with anything you consume.
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Ingredients scaled up to just over one *quart* (4 cups, approx 1000 mL):
* Water: 4 cups (approx 1000mL)
Thickeners:
* Corn starch, 12 teaspoons (4 tablespoons, 60 mL)
* Unflavored Gelatin, 12 teaspoons (4 tablespoons, 60 mL)
Ionics (salt-like):
* Table salt (NaCl) 1 teaspoon (5 mL)
* Salt Substitute (pure Potassium Chloride, if possible), 1 teaspoon (5 mL)
* Baking soda (Sodium Bicarbonate, NaHCO3), 1 teaspoon (5 mL)
Sweetening:
* High fructose corn syrup, 12 teaspoons (= 4 tablespoon or 60 mL)
Smell/preservative:
* Optional, Household bleach (6% Sodium Hypochlorite), 1 teaspoon (5 mL)
(This is a ratio of 1 part bleach to 200 parts water, slightly more than in the disinfecting solution linked to above. Halve or quarter this if you are concerned, or leave it out entirely.)
Bitter (optional):
* 400 mg Caffeine, 2x 200 mg tablet, finely crushed (e.g. in a folded paper plate)