Hi
I'm quite new to this and would love to know any advice abyone has for someone who is into bondage but their partner is most definately not.
I respect her views and desire to kot know anything about it but I cannot change who I am.
How do I deal with this?
Damien
Looking for help, advice, reassurance
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Shannon SteelSlave
- Moderator
- Posts: 6620
- Joined: 03 Feb 2019, 19:49
- Location: New England, USA
Re: Looking for help, advice, reassurance
Aloha from Bound Anna, Damiandrew
Bondage is like a foreign film without subtitles. Only through sharing and practice can we hope to understand.
A Jedi uses bondage for knowledge and defense, never for attack.
I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T!....I, I mean S-M-A-R-T!
A Jedi uses bondage for knowledge and defense, never for attack.
I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T!....I, I mean S-M-A-R-T!
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bound_jenny
- Moderator
- Posts: 10268
- Joined: 09 Dec 2007, 12:37
- Location: Montreal, Canada, Great Kinky North
Re: Looking for help, advice, reassurance
Welcome to the forum! 
That question has been asked so many times! You're not the only one in that position, so you'll find your answers.
Look for threads titled "Telling your partner" or something to that effect. In all cases, it's best to go slow. I'll let you look around and find and read the posts in question.
Have fun!
Jenny.
That question has been asked so many times! You're not the only one in that position, so you'll find your answers.
Look for threads titled "Telling your partner" or something to that effect. In all cases, it's best to go slow. I'll let you look around and find and read the posts in question.
Have fun!
Jenny.
Helplessness is a doorway to the innermost reaches of the soul.
If my corset isn't tight, it just isn't right!
Kink is the spice of life!
Come to the Dark Side - we have cookies!
If my corset isn't tight, it just isn't right!
Kink is the spice of life!
Come to the Dark Side - we have cookies!
Re: Looking for help, advice, reassurance
Welcome to the forum. When a partner is not available for bondage, Self-Bondage is the best option and, in my opinion, this is the best place to discuss Self-Bondage. The available bondage options cover a wide variety of different types and different timing methods. Surely, you will be able to find something that works well for you.
Resident timer maker. 
Let’s make timers together!
Let’s make timers together!
Re: Looking for help, advice, reassurance
Welcome!
There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.
The beatings will continue until morale improves.
Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons - for you are crunchy and good with ketchup.
The beatings will continue until morale improves.
Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons - for you are crunchy and good with ketchup.
Re: Looking for help, advice, reassurance
Welcome to BoundAnna, damiandrew.
There are others over here with the same problem; first of all talk with each other so there is a fully understanding between you two.
Then there can be an intermediate solution exists where you both are happy with.
Think also what "you" can do for your partner. So that it doesn't only go in one direction.
There are others over here with the same problem; first of all talk with each other so there is a fully understanding between you two.
Then there can be an intermediate solution exists where you both are happy with.
Think also what "you" can do for your partner. So that it doesn't only go in one direction.
Re: Looking for help, advice, reassurance
Welcome to the forum.Never confuse your ambitions with your abilities. If you can't free yourself, who will?
When your helpless, you have no choice but to wait.
When your helpless, you have no choice but to wait.
Re: Looking for help, advice, reassurance
I missed your question about how to handle your dilemma with your partner earlier. I would suggest starting with respecting your partner’s boundaries. Next, I would like for you to negotiate for personal privacy so that you may meet your bondage needs without issues with your partner. After that, establishing open, honest, respectful, supportive, and effective communication with your partner will be very important to your relationship. Start with topics that your partner enjoys; progress through the more neutral discussions; and then work on the topics your partner is uncomfortable communicating. Save bondage for last and only discuss it within the comfort zone of your partner.
Depending on your relationship, both your communication skills and your partner’s communication skills, and the level of cooperation you two share; the timeframe for this can vary greatly and how far into it you achieve is unknown. Communication is a key part of teamwork and teamwork is a crucial part of any partnership. Whatever communication improvements happen will be very valuable to your relationship.
I wish you the best of luck and hope you have fun.
Depending on your relationship, both your communication skills and your partner’s communication skills, and the level of cooperation you two share; the timeframe for this can vary greatly and how far into it you achieve is unknown. Communication is a key part of teamwork and teamwork is a crucial part of any partnership. Whatever communication improvements happen will be very valuable to your relationship.
I wish you the best of luck and hope you have fun.
Resident timer maker.
Let’s make timers together!
Let’s make timers together!
Re: Looking for help, advice, reassurance
Some thing that we did early on was, negotiate time and right a list( not to much detail, it may be to overwhelming) and ask her to pick items, time or positions or all. This slowly is involving her but not directly. You could also get a timer lock which she sets the time. And a chastity which she has the key or again set a time timer look which will release the key…
Hope this helps
Hope this helps
