So, introducing the Ghetto Self-Mummification Machine (direct image links don't seem to work so here's a URL to the photo):
What it ends up using is a Tension Rod (in my case using an old, leftover shower curtain rod), the actual cling wrap (in this case 15" wide), and two quick clamps (one of which you probably only need with certain rods that won't lock into place when placed vertically). I have tested it and it seems to work quite well, easily allowing me to simply wrap myself up by spinning in place and once sufficiently wrapped, using a long, sharp instrument held in my hand to cut the bottom of the wrap and carefully tear myself away, being very careful to not apply too much force. For this setup specifically, the top clamp is keeping the rod from un-tightening itself as the Tension Rod I tested it out with does not like to stay tightened in a vertical position, while the bottom clamp lifts the cling wrap up making it easier to unravel and move up and down to adjust the positioning of the wrap.
Now, the elephant in the room is that I'm using an incredibly cheap shower curtain rod that in this prototype scenario is being wedged against my desk using very cheap clamps that could likely come crashing down if you went too hard or fast while wrapping yourself. But I think that this should work with a floor to ceiling tension rod and have ordered one specifically to test this out. Basically I think this is a proof of concept and would love some feedback from others who might have better recommendations as I am NOT an Engineer by any stretch of the imagination. All I know is that I set it up, tested it, and it worked.
So yeah, would love some alternative ideas and/or constructive criticism of this not-so-stable setup!
*Update*: I've solved the issue with the wrap not being tight enough! What you need is a second tension rod to redirect the tape in a 90 degree angle before wrapping yourself. It allows you to wrap yourself MUCH more tightly and unlike before where the wrap had loose parts, the wrap this way was nearly perfect in form fitting. I'll post a picture of the setup soon for those who need a visual description of how it works. You are nearly completely immobilized in this way, or at least I was, and I consider myself a strong guy who can usually get out of pretty tight binds. Just be very, very careful if you are using a sharp instrument to free yourself, as one of my posts below will document what happened. Don't read it if you're squeamish about blood.
*Update 2*: And here are the pictures with how I have this setup. Two tension poles, 1 hand clamp, and I personally have 2 rolls of 17" cling wrap that I can use at the same time (but you can use 1 instead). Just pull the cling wrap out and wrap it around the 2nd pole, and just start spinning yourself around it. Easy!
Update 3: I forgot to include the links for the equipment I purchased for this. Whoops! Here are the Amazon links to the exact tension rods, cling wrap & hand clamps I use to keep the cling wrap from moving
Tension Rod #1: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000CRDD6Y
Tension Rod #2: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0B4C8LHFJ
Hand Clamps: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B001DSY4QO
Cling Wrap #1: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07CWGQ6YS
Cling Wrap #2: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0CBW159BN
Cling Wrap #3: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B09HPXDF8M
Update 4: Here's a demonstration video on the effectiveness of the two pole setup. Forgive the amateur production, messy room and constant coughing, but the video should demonstrate how effective it is. I only ended up wrapping myself in a light number of layers so I could easily get out for the video, but you can wrap yourself up with many more if you'd like. Hell, I usually wrap myself a lot more too.
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1xDUy7m ... drive_link
Of course, the easiest method throughout all this would be to simply find a partner who shares in my interests who also lives in my area, but my situation is kinda... unique, and that's not going to be possible for potentially a long time.
