First play party.

[Kronopticon]

Soon enough, after a while of nervous googling and too little time to attend, im finally going to a play party. so, just wanted to know what you thought of my outfit.

http://img801.imageshack.us/img801/571/frontmy.jpg
http://img685.imageshack.us/img685/7416/backkco.jpg

[ponylady]

creative, but maybe a bit OTT ?

less is more quite often.

btw: have fun there & meet interesting people.

[Kronopticon]

i like to think that the best things in life are OTT, but i might lose the black cloth over my mouth. i love the mask, so im keeping that! but the ropes... well, the ropes are my expertise, so i have a habit of doing that. might just stick to my trademark arm gauntlets though thanks for the tips x

[Kronopticon]

I went to the play party last night. and frankly, im a little bit dissappointed. and disheartened.

I went with a bit more subtlety, but found out that when i was there, subtlety wasnt even thought of, there were wonderful and weird and delicious outfits everywhere, and possibly almost as much pvc as i can dream of, but the problem was that everyone had turned up in their own little group of people, and were very anti-social towards anyone they didnt know.

I was a bit stricken, but i tried to talk to people, and every conversation led no-where. i dont know if it was my outfit, the way i was carrying myself, the fact i was probably the youngest person there. i dont know... but im not giving up , this shalt not be the last they have heard of me!!!

[lj]

I obviously don't know which play-party you went to, I've only been to one in the North of England. It is in the nature of play-parties that they tend to be populated by people who know each other, so a newcomer is bound to feel a little out of place unless the hosts are very pro-active (which is the case in the play-parties I have been to down South.)

It always pays to contact the host/organiser and explain your position as a newcomer/inexperienced/whatever as otherwise they will have no idea what you might want to experience. As I was a fairly experienced scene player when I went to the northern one, I was able to be confident in my approach, as well as being up-front enough to make myself know to anyone there. It helped (only a little) that I knew one Domme via my network on InformedConsent even though we had never met and in the event chatted but didn't play. But to be honest, I only had one play session, albeit a serious one, so was also a bit disappointed. From my experience with the other parties, it takes three or four before you get to know people enough to play, but you do have to make the effort to join in the chat, make yourself useful etc (not saying you didn't, it's a general comment)

So don't be put off, make the effort to get to know people, you could memo people you met to reinforce your identity if they are on IC etc. Have fun

[rmcingle]

How did you manage to get the invitation to the play party?

I have been to several, all of which you had to know someone to even get the invitation. In my case I was the dominant and my submissive, who had been much more active in the local scene, knew several of the party regulars.

Having that "in" certainly paved the way to better socializing but it was the interaction between myself and my submissive that really broke the ice. We waited until there was a lull in the action and then my sub and I did a scene. Nothing elaborate, just a simple spanking scene. I didn't try to show off, I didn't try to push any limits, I simply operated within the comfort zone of myself and my partner. This became a catalyst for discussions later, as several people (mostly other submissive women) complimented me on how well I stayed focused on my sub.

The parties that I attended simply did NOT allow any un-attached submissive men to attend. There were a few unattached female submissive as well as single dom/dommes but for the most part there were couples. They didn't always play as couples as there was a fair amount of sub-swapping going on. In fact, there were couples that only played with other partners.

Submissive men, in general, will have a really hard time finding a dom/domme. My advice is that if you wish to be accepted into any of the various groups you will need to establish yourself "in the scene" outside of the party environment. Are there "munches" or other non-play social gathering for the group? If so, attend these as much as possible so that you are not a new face when it comes to the party.

An approach that might work for you is to approach the host of the party and offer to help in any way that you can. Arriving early to set up, working the door, serving refreshments, cleaning up afterward, etc. If you can get on the host's good side then you may get some special attention. If nothing else, working the door will give you an opportunity to meet a lot of new people!

Ron

[bound_jenny]

I agree with lj's comments and recommendations. My experience is that coming on too strongly or looking too desperate is a no-no. Stand back and observe, and don't interfere in scenes. Even if you just watch and don't say much it will go a long way - these people tend to be a private lot, so don't expect any instant enthusiastic responses. Discretion, respect and patience are well seen in this environment. Once they see you in a good light, that you respect their intimacy and their customs, they will "let you in". Someone will eventually approach you or invite you into a conversation.

But don't despair at this first experience. It's rather common, and likely nothing personal.

Jenny.

[Kronopticon]

Well thats kinda what i did, jenny, watched some absolutely delicious spanking scenes, and someone using a violet wand, which i own one of, but hardly use it, was.. very interesting.

And rmcingle, i didnt get an invitation, as it was posted on informed consent, and as a public website, all information is accessable by everyone, so i went, i enjoyed some of it at least, and i have already planned to go to several munches in the very near future, besides, as a switch, i decided that i would only sub to a very select few. including myself of course and mostly parade as a dom. keeping my options open though wont limit my domming or subbing to a gender either. thats the usual mistake. if a guy wants me to dom them, i wont mind.

The more spanked the merrier