relationship problem..caused by porn ( ? )

[iPain]

hello.. [ ..please if you are not in the mood to read the whole post, read only the underlined part.. ]
after a whole year i was alone,now i am in a relationship..but i have a serious problem..

i have watched too much porn .. i started from simple, then went to kinky stuff as time progressed..i also used to masturbate every day..

that "simple sex porn" i started watching as a teenager was really exciting and it would get me horny in seconds..
right now after a few years, i dont even get hard while watching "simple sex porn", and i really need some kinky bondage stuff like hogtied.com or similar.. for the last year, only thing i watched was bondage porn.

the problem is that, i don't find sex (in real life) interesting anymore.. my girlfriend tied, spanked and licked by me and begging for help could get me hard for a year.. but right now i can't have simple enjoyable sex.. i can't get hard with simple normal foreplay..
we tried having sex 3 times, and all 3 times i went limp and didn't have sex.. she went MAD on me the 3rd time.. i told her im just tired.. moments before i put the condom on, i was thinking that sex is boring and don't want to do it, like i'm bored of it.. what the hell? a year alone..!

it looks like i got REALLY desensitized by porn over the years.. my mind is just on bondage now.. i can't enjoy my beautiful partner..we can't have sex, just because i only want to see her begging for release or stuff like that i see in the bondage movies..
i deleted/cracked porn dvds and bookmarks,stopped masturbating and everything.. i want to get back to normal, where just the thought of a naked woman would get me horny...

is there a way to get back to normal and how long it takes? i really hate my self now.. i feel useless..

thanks A LOT for reading..

related : http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index ... 527AAk6Aqu

[PetticoatJane]

deleted

[iPain]

thanks a lot for replying..
it looks like a simple human relationship in terms of sex is not enough to get me aroused.. it actually keeps me interested for the first 10minutes.. after that i get bored.. maybe it's low libido too and i just need a break from porn/masturbating activity..
i'm gonna take a break for a month or so as you said , and then try again..
if i fail.. it's time to visit an expert..
thanks a lot for help

[PetticoatJane]

Good for you!
That's a beginning. PCJ

[anna]

This is such a complicated situation and I wish that I could think of something smart to write but PetticoatJane already wrote a perfect answer. The fact that you have realized that there is a problem and also have realized the probable source of the problem is a huge first step in solving the issue. I wish you and your loved one the best of luck in solving the issue for you. Meanwhile there are a lot of other ways to show your girlfriend that you love her and for her to show her love to you. Sex will start working again when it is ready to do so, it can not and should not be rushed.

Always remember that you are not alone, this appears to be a quickly growing problem in the Internet world.

[iPain]

well yeah.. there are many ways to show her i love her...

i really think that was the problem.. we both were not so close, mentally, to each other.. and i could feel that..still remember that feeling.. it's bad..
also, we won't be that close for 3-4weeks because of work , so we won't try and have sex this month,but we will be meeting each other at work everyday..!

that's good i think.. i have time to rejuvenate, restore my sex drive, and talk with her about our relationship..
she told me she likes being helpless and completely "given" to her man..she also said she likes me rough and just do whatever i want to her,even if she doesn't want to..! we might try something closer to my world..(handcuffs,ropes)
i hope the relationship lasts.. after this month, it's holiday for both of us..all day together..!

[marylandsissy]

i had this problem when stressed at work and at home. We have been in the middle of a rehab for the past several months. Right as the double blizzards were starting we had incredible sex. I went down on her for almost an hour, then we switched to regular love making. Nothing kinky. Now it has been over a month and between her periods, more work on the house, regular work, we are too tired to do anything after work and the weekends we are too busy followed by extremely worn out.

Perhaps now with a lot of the stress is almost gone we will get back to our once weekly fun and games. And now that she is less stressed I can tell her of my secret self.

[iPain]

still haven't had sex with her
she feels like we are 2 different worlds and don't go together in bed..
she wants a man to dominate her, treat her as he likes.. i am this kind of man, but the anxiety and stress won't let me have fun in bed..
what can i do now..? just pin her down and have sex?