slightly controversial

[lj]

one thing I have noticed about this forum is that no "flaming" goes on, as it does on others, so I hope this won't start it happening here.

I've been on this forum for a while and have learnt a lot, not least that I'm not alone in my kinks, and made some "virtual" friends too.

I've been into CD, and SB for many years, as a sexual release I suppose. About 8 months ago I hit 60 and suddenly thought "I should try this for real before it's too late" So I plucked up courage and went to my first Munch, then a play party, and things have rather escalated from there. I find I'm a switch rather than a sub, have a regular play-partner and am having a fantastic time doing all the kinky things I dreamt of. Now I never do SB, and as my "play" clothes are my leather skirt etc, I CD openly every couple of weeks or so.

So why am I saying this. No, it's not an ego trip, and yes I really am doing all the kinky stuff, it isn't fiction.

It's because I spent so many years wishing I could do it for real but never taking the first step, then doing so and realising the step wasn't very big at all. Obviously I can't speak for everywhere, but the UK scene is very welcoming, Munches are a great way to get involved.

I know there are many for whom the step will always be too big, and there are those who are entirely happy with their SB or whatever. But for those who are hovering on the brink, jump in, you won't regret it.

[ponylady]

nice speech, LJ.

but what is it with the thread title ?

[lj]

but what is it with the thread title ?

because this is primarily a SB site, and I'm suggesting people may be doing solo stuff simply because they are nervous about doing their kinks with other people

[onestrangeguy]

one thing I have noticed about this forum is that no "flaming" goes on, as it does on others, so I hope this won't start it happening here.

I've been on this forum for a while and have learnt a lot, not least that I'm not alone in my kinks, and made some "virtual" friends too.

I've been into CD, and SB for many years, as a sexual release I suppose. About 8 months ago I hit 60 and suddenly thought "I should try this for real before it's too late" So I plucked up courage and went to my first Munch, then a play party, and things have rather escalated from there. I find I'm a switch rather than a sub, have a regular play-partner and am having a fantastic time doing all the kinky things I dreamt of. Now I never do SB, and as my "play" clothes are my leather skirt etc, I CD openly every couple of weeks or so.

I know there are many for whom the step will always be too big, and there are those who are entirely happy with their SB or whatever. But for those who are hovering on the brink, jump in, you won't regret it.

And all this while I always thought you were a YOUNG aspiring engineer. It makes me feel good to know that I'm not the only one that is pushing 60, in fact I've been pushing that number for two years now. '

I agree that we have a really good group here. Part of that may be because of that mean Canadian lady that keeps us in our place.

I too would second your encouragement for those on the edge to jump in. I know one thing that always grabbs me is the reluctance that people express to go into a store and buy anything feminine. I know I've learned over the years that 1. Nobody (Sales clerks) cares what you buy. 2. I don't really care if they do because they are strangers to me anyway. I have to admit, I'm not quite as open about my kink as you are, but I'm a lot more open than many on this board.

[Jericho]

There's nothing controversial about your topic, I myself was on the sidelines, not seeking out others for various reasons, including fear. I'm not on the sidelines anymore (as my bruised & sore backside can attest to ) and I'm so glad I finally screwed up my courage and went to that first Munch, the friends I'm making are wonderful.

[lj]

thanks for the comments, perhaps "controversial" was the wrong word, but I wanted to get some viewings, because I feel so strongly that so many people are scared to take what seems a huge step, but actually isn't. I'm not at all lacking in self-confidence in the vanilla world, but actually going to a Munch, effectively saying to a load of people "I'm kinky" just seemed a mile high step. In the event it was "hi, welcome"

Another thing is that the BDSM scene is simply not judgemental. We do not criticise, your kink is fine. Enjoy it.

I'm looking forward to seeing what our Canadian Domme has to say, I keep hoping she will pop over to this side of the pond, be great to put a face to the crop

[Kronopticon]

being not normal myself, when i was 17 i summoned up the courage and went to a munch, at the time of course, i looked older, so i wasnt really seen as too out of place at the munch, and i had a fairly good time there, being quite the extrovert, i quickly began having conversations with anyone and everyone, but through a slip of the tongue someone found out i was 17, and generally, they were really quite receptive of me, since after already talking to me for an hour or so, they were convinced that i was very mature for my age, and when i was 18, i joined the munch again and they all had a little party for me the younger the better in my opinion, but not too young..... like i was...

[bound_jenny]

You're 60?!?! I would never have guessed. Well, you have a good, vigorous mind, still open to new ideas, quite uncharacteristic of the typical old codger...

It is indeed a big step, no matter how old or young you are. The first time you open up to others about your kinks, there are always butterflies in the stomach, regardless of how bold you are (or claim you are). There is no shame in admitting being nervous. It's normal. It's human.

I have been kinky as far back as I can remember, or as our absentee SouthBoundBelle would say, I'm a "career perv". But still, until the moment came that I found out that I was not alone in my kinks, I was uncomfortable with them. When it was time to meet other kinky people, I was nervous. Then I found out that they are people, humans, just like me. I started finding out things about myself that I never imagined before, either because I hadn't thought of it or I had banished those thoughts. A very liberating experience. That's when I really started getting pervy.

Let's say that what I became was far beyond anything I conceived in my early explorations...

But the really astonishing moments were when I found out that all those fantasies I had dreamed up, those things that made me all giddy and tingly and aroused, all those impossibly perverted ideas I had, so perverted that it was inconceivable that anyone else could have had them, were not only shared by other people, but by lots of other people. And that those ideas were very tame compared to some other kinks I came to discover - and enjoy - later on.

It's wonderful to let one's mind wander freely in the Wild Kinkdom, knowing that there is no shame, no guilt, no blame to burden us. All that shame, guilt and blame are the artificial constructs of vanilla people who don't want to open up their limited views of sensuality and sexuality, and don't want anyone else to do so either. I'm a perv and proud of it, and I've got a special finger for anyone who doesn't respect my pride. And an assortment of instruments of delicious torment for those who do.

My deepest respects to you, LJ.

Jenny.