The mind of the self bondager

This is the place where you can share your thoughts on selfbondage with like minded people.
arkane
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The mind of the self bondager

Post by arkane »

First: I lurk here to read stories and facts about bondage and self bondage: the last one (self-) does nothing for me in real life, but it's still fun to watch and read about.

A question I have, and sorry if this topic was already debated in the past...
What does the self bondager think when studying new ways to make him/herself helpless? Is selfbondage practice a submissive state of mind? or a dominant one, a mischievous way to torment a victim (oneself)? Or neither?
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Sashauk
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Re: The mind of the self bondager

Post by Sashauk »

In my case it is because I am a sub and like to feel helpless.

Personally I would much prefer to be bound by someone else, but I don't have anyone in my life to do that for me so I have to resort to self-bondage. I'm not sure but I think you might find that a lot of self-bondage people would also feel the same.
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TNTBound
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Re: The mind of the self bondager

Post by TNTBound »

Sashauk wrote:In my case it is because I am a sub and like to feel helpless.

Personally I would much prefer to be bound by someone else, but I don't have anyone in my life to do that for me so I have to resort to self-bondage. I'm not sure but I think you might find that a lot of self-bondage people would also feel the same.

ditto!

i love to feel helpless, and since i dont have anyone else to tie me up, i do it myself.

although, i would not have a problem tying up a pretty girl that wanted me to. i think it would be fun to tease while their bound and completely helpless. :wink:
For those that get it, no explanation is needed. For those that don't, no explanation is possible.
"Some men just want to watch the world burn" - i can relate to this more and more the older i get!
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sweh
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Re: The mind of the self bondager

Post by sweh »

For me, it's just fun. The feel of the corset tightening is enough to cause my cock to harden, whether I'm self-lacing or my Lady is doing it. The snick of the padlock, knowing the keys are out of reach (timesafe or in my Lady's possession) makes it bounce. Being chained to the wall unable to do anything makes me drip...

Some scenarios are better with my Lady (she can, obviously, put me in situations I can't put myself in). Others are better alone (keeping control allows me to push some edges because I know how bad it's getting).

And all of this is more frustrating, when I'm in a chastity cage!
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Re: The mind of the self bondager

Post by tiemeupalso »

i cant really explain why I love selfbondage.i just know I have been doing it for 50+years now and don't see an end to it.
I love it when I have someone to play with,but as I am alone I always come up with better ways of locking myself up.
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bound_jenny
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Re: The mind of the self bondager

Post by bound_jenny »

It's sensual.

The feeling of the ropes on my skin is a huge turn-on. Just applying the ropes is a turn-on.

When I'm self-bound, there is no D or S, no T or B, just me, the ropes, and my fertile imagination. It's a kind of quiet time, just for me, a time for introspection, even meditation, and the rest of the world is just set aside for the time I spend in bondage. The universe is reduced to its simplest expression, no complications, no distractions, no preoccupations, just me and the ropes.

When I'm done, I'm refreshed, renewed, re-centered.

And it's fun. :wink:

Jenny.
Helplessness is a doorway to the innermost reaches of the soul.
If my corset isn't tight, it just isn't right!
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Keyless
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Re: The mind of the self bondager

Post by Keyless »

From what you can see on this site people have all sorts of reasons to like bondage. But there does seem to be a very blurry division between those whose objective is to achieve orgasm and those whose objective is almost the reverse. Rather like Jenny said, it’s nice to have a quiet time, without distraction. I think it depends on personality. As an anxious person, for me, it’s very much about making the world simpler for a little while. Unless I’m really engrossed in something my mind tends to become distracted and, were I not restrained, I would start to fidget or get distracted by something else – sometimes it’s thinking about bondage scenarios. In bondage I can just feel the bonds like Jenny says and relax. I’m not saying that there is no sexual turn on at all. Indeed in my younger days bondage would often result in a spontaneous orgasm but that was not the primary objective. There doesn’t need to be an actual physical restraint either. As I have said elsewhere, I find a cycle trip much more enjoyable if I know I have to complete the predetermined route I've set myself, with no temptation to turn back or take a short cut. I like the remote electro-stim as well. Sometimes I do something like tell Mistress K I will go to the workshop for half an hour then get distracted. Two hours later she comes to find me, quite annoyed that I have disappeared. Knowing she can buzz me and then, if I don’t turn up, zap me, helps both of us. It amuses her to see me jump as well. It’s interesting to see some of the research which is emerging now. It looks to me as though at least some of this might be due to the way my brain is put together. If there are any neurologists out there it would be interesting to hear your views.
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Re: The mind of the self bondager

Post by CD Tammy »

What happens with me is that I see a bondage photo that someone else has done. It starts my mind whirring on how to recreate that myself. Recently, I saw a box stock photo. It's something that I am thinking about how to make work for self-bondage.
Old Timer
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Re: The mind of the self bondager

Post by Old Timer »

Like CD Tammy I enjoy seeing new positions and trying them but I also like to create and plan how I'd like to be tied for the next sb session. I sometimes plan for weeks and while I'm planning I can feel the bite of the rope.
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FatherOfFour
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Re: The mind of the self bondager

Post by FatherOfFour »

It's a multifaceted issue:
Yes, there is sex involved:
- if I clamp a nipple or two before going to bed near my wife,
- or even just wear a simple Karada, my drive is ... changed!...
It's much better from her point of view, and it's good for me too...
(bear in mind that my wife is more vanilla than the ice-cream)
As a matter of fact, remember Jenny? You told me
Jenny wrote:not to wake the sleeping dogs...
- I asked her "what if some stranger would jerk-off by Your public sexy pictures?"
She yelled at me "YOU HAVE A SICK MIND! Who ever does this?"
So the dogs are still sleeping...

On the other hand, it's the non-sexual interest. Let's break it down:
- I like to rig, tie, do elaborate rope (and metal) work.
- I like to set up mind-traps and other mechanisms (i.e. dead-man-switch, etc)
- I have to be flawless before even asking someone to model.
So I do rope-work on myself until good enough for other living person...
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Re: The mind of the self bondager

Post by Mo_st »

bound_jenny wrote:It's sensual.

The feeling of the ropes on my skin is a huge turn-on. Just applying the ropes is a turn-on.

When I'm self-bound, there is no D or S, no T or B, just me, the ropes, and my fertile imagination. It's a kind of quiet time, just for me, a time for introspection, even meditation, and the rest of the world is just set aside for the time I spend in bondage. The universe is reduced to its simplest expression, no complications, no distractions, no preoccupations, just me and the ropes.

When I'm done, I'm refreshed, renewed, re-centered.

And it's fun. :wink:

Jenny.
You hit the spot! Wunderful words
CD Tammy
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Re: The mind of the self bondager

Post by CD Tammy »

Old Timer wrote:Like CD Tammy I enjoy seeing new positions and trying them but I also like to create and plan how I'd like to be tied for the next sb session. I sometimes plan for weeks and while I'm planning I can feel the bite of the rope.
I’m so glad to read this. So I am not the only one that spends weeks working out the next self-bondage plan. When some see a workout machine, I am thinking where things can be attached. When I look at office furniture, I am testing its strength.
arkane
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Re: The mind of the self bondager

Post by arkane »

Thanks for your answers...
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pavtron
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Re: The mind of the self bondager

Post by pavtron »

It has a few sides for me...
  • I get the proverbial monkey on my back until I spend a few hours in heavy bondage. Until then the monkey keeps me thinking about. Thinking about it just makes the monkey heaver and stronger.
  • It's an engineering change. How can I make the restrains harder to escape from?
  • I can't accurately describe the rush that comes with that last click and the feeling of "Oh Crap! I might be really stuck this time." It's both excitement and fear. -- So far I have always worked my way out before the first release activates.
CD is another story. We can talk about that later. :whip:
Last edited by pavtron on 30 Oct 2019, 20:18, edited 1 time in total.
dante33
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Re: The mind of the self bondager

Post by dante33 »

It's a great question.

I guess I'm a 'switch' - I get turned on by both the submissive and dominating aspects of bondage. I've done some with the GF years ago, but it never really worked out. I switched to selfbondage instead - I dont really mind not having bondage as part of my relationship, though I can miss it when particularly horny.

As others have mentioned, I can spend a long time planning SB sessions. If I'm alone for a few days, I can plan to be in bondage in some form for days at a time. Finding the gear (lots of it), looking at it, getting ready, it all is incredibly intense for me. Being in bondage is a bit more complex - I love the feel of it (I use shackles, chains), but I get bored fast if I cant touch myself. And when I do come, I just want to get out of it. So often the planned '2 day adventures' gets cut short, and I'm left with an odd feeling of shame and 'what a waste of my time'. It's odd. After a few hours, I might get right back into it, but often, after a good SB session, I can go for months without it.

So it's a bit 'Jekyll and Hyde' for me - I fantasize about biiiig SB sessions (and 'real' bondage, of course), but in the waiting, planning and excitement is sometimes a bigger turn on than the act itself. I've done almost 48 hours of bondage before, but I dont really gain much from it compared to say, a good 1-2 hour session.

However, sometimes, when I get a tie just right - the right amount of helplessness, intensity, choking and tightness, it can be fantastic. And often, that is when I miss someone else to 'take over' and dictate the process...
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