Is bd cheating?

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Mo_st
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Is bd cheating?

Post by Mo_st »

Hello all of you wonderfull People's.

Well this is my first post here. And i hope i am doing it right :)

I live With my lovely and wunderful wife, and we have Been together for some years now.. she knows about my kinks, we do play when time allows it and she enjoys being bound.
But some time ago, we talked about things, and we talked about my kinky "habits" she Them said to me that, when i do SB, she get the feeling that i am cheating on her. Well the are no other than my self involved... but she still gets that feeling.
Is it something other than me have exsperienst or is it just me?

Hope my english is ok, im from Denmark.
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Sir Cumference
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Re: Is bd cheating?

Post by Sir Cumference »

In my book, "cheating" is breaking the agreements you have with your partner.

I once dated a bat shit crazy girl, who considered it "cheating" the moment I theoretically could show any interest in any other vertebrate.


But is she considering it to be infidelity, or is she just a bit jealous, that you have fun without her?

In my household, masturbation and related activities are not considered cheating.
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helpless85
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Re: Is bd cheating?

Post by helpless85 »

It depends. I love self bondage but when I indulge in it too much, I have difficulty sustaining an erection with my wife. This is especially true if I combine self bondage with porn and masturbation. Eventually it gets to be too much, like an addiction, and desensitizes me to sex. This led to my wife having feelings of not being attractive enough, or worries that I might cheat on her with someone who is more aligned with my fetishes. This made sex very stressful for both of us (especially her). So, I've learned to get rid of porn, and practice self bondage without orgasms. This has made sex with my wife more intimate and enjoyable for us both, especially when we sometimes include bondage play.
Mo_st
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Re: Is bd cheating?

Post by Mo_st »

Thanks for the respons.

Maybe she is jaloux. I really dont know. I have been doing selfbondage scenes where she were a part of it. For exampel, if she had a Night out with som friends, i'd stay home and did tie my self in a spreadeagle on the bed. Then she came home and find me, and she started playing with me. That were some wonderful moments. SB combined with partner-SM...

But yeah, i can se the problem of loosing the hard on abillity, in "normal" sex, if you do to much SB ( with happy a happy ending) But that isnt a problem for me. I love to have sex with my wife.
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Re: Is bd cheating?

Post by cbshackle »

Personally I think it's cheating if any of the following take place:
  • - You are hiding an activity from your partner that takes away intimacy for your partner.
    - You are doing something your partner has told you they feel is cheating and you hide it from them.
    - Any activity they you go out of your way to hide from your partner.
:gag: Just a geeky and kinky girl :gag:
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cdinbonds
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Re: Is bd cheating?

Post by cdinbonds »

When you do SB, do you fantasize? Are you the victim of some evil Mistress? If so, is it your wife, or someone else? If it is your wife, then you need to convince her of that, and show that you are only wishing she was there with you. If it is someone else, then she may have cause to be jealous.
There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.
The beatings will continue until morale improves.
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KinkInSpace
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Re: Is bd cheating?

Post by KinkInSpace »

If she says its cheating, she probably means that she wants to be part of the action. Try to include her in her sessions. If she does not want to do that, nor does she wants you to do self-bondage, consider finding a different partner. She is obviously possessive of you, and that's not healthy in this kind of context.

But if she wants to be your Mistress and play with you that way, then that would probably work.
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I'm not yet very comfortable expressing my love for kink from my private life. I will therefor hide behind my username KinkInSpace and not allow any connections to who I really am. I'm sure you'll understand.
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