Aren't you afraid of being discovered ?

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ZergolMakar
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Aren't you afraid of being discovered ?

Post by ZergolMakar »

I've always loved bondage but only recently (couple of weeks) did I buy some kinky gear to play with. This includes : a ballgag, leather cuffs, a hood, a pair of stockings (I'm a guy so that's the reason I sort it into "kinky gear"), a butt-plug, and a couple meters of rope.
This can easily be hidden in a box then in some closet or drawer. Though the more I use these toys the more I want, and I now plan of buying more expensive, bulky stuff like a full catsuit or stuff like that.
The reason I create this topic is that I'm deathly afraid of being caught by people coming into my home... I sometimes welcome guests like family and friends, even if I hide my stuff well I'm frightened at the idea that they could somehow snoop around and find my stash. That would mean my social death...
And even at the time of my actual death. I know it is useless to think about things like that, but I can not help but doing it... I am never safe from an unexpected event like a car crash... I do not want to be remembered as a pervert when my relatives clean up my home...
I would like to ask all of you, especially people with a lot of bulky gear (E-Stims, PVC mattresses, DYI rigs for self-bondage...) : are some of you in the same situation as me ? Do you fear your gear to ever be discovered by your relatives ?
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TNTBound
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Re: Aren't you afraid of being discovered ?

Post by TNTBound »

i live with my parents currently, and im pretty sure they are well aware of my self bondage hobby, but it has never been brought up in conversation. more than once, a friend has snooped upon a thing or two, but it wasnt that big a deal.

the best one, was when my dad found some rope behind my bed and my friend was already at my house. i went upstairs thinking my room was how i left it, but my dad had the rope out on my bed wondering what it was for. :oops: i didnt want to tell them, so i just played dumb, pretty sure they knew though.

right now, if anyone were to look behind my bed, they would find all my goodies. i have already accepted that its a part of who i am, so i dont really mind either way if someone i know finds out. heck, my boss even knows because he took my phone out of my hands when i was browsing on here on the way home from work once. he'll tease me about it every once in a while.
For those that get it, no explanation is needed. For those that don't, no explanation is possible.
"Some men just want to watch the world burn" - i can relate to this more and more the older i get!
ZergolMakar
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Re: Aren't you afraid of being discovered ?

Post by ZergolMakar »

Thank you for the feedback.
I see you're the courageous type, owning this kind of stuff while living at your parents' house, as well as browsing NSFW websites at work :P
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TNTBound
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Re: Aren't you afraid of being discovered ?

Post by TNTBound »

wasn't exactly at work, we were riding in the work van on the ride home.

i wouldn't say im the courageous type, its just that i have come to accept that its a part of me, and i wouldn't deny that if anyone brought it up.


admittedly, wearing latex under my clothes when going out of the house past my parents is a little nerve racking! lol :P
For those that get it, no explanation is needed. For those that don't, no explanation is possible.
"Some men just want to watch the world burn" - i can relate to this more and more the older i get!
xuebaimeng
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Re: Aren't you afraid of being discovered ?

Post by xuebaimeng »

Of course I am afraid of being discovered too. As I still live with my parents, it is always difficult problems for me to hide my bondaging toys. In my memories, there are serval times being discovered. The first time my ropes were threw,but my parents said nothings. And one time, I was discovered in bondage by my mother :oops: You knew,it is hard for her to allow this hobby. So she warm me not to do it again, but I still do it serectly and more carefully. Every time I play bondage game, I should make sure I won't be discovered. So I feel beset about this. :cry:
ZergolMakar
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Re: Aren't you afraid of being discovered ?

Post by ZergolMakar »

@TNTBound : I do believe though that this is actually a form of courage to accept the fact that you're aroused by this kind of stuff, and I like your mindset when you claim this is "a part of who you are". Few people (no people ?) I know would say such a thing. Kudos :)

@xuebaimeng : May I ask how you got caught in bondage ? Were you alone at home and your parents came back early ? Or did you get stuck or something ? I can only imagine the embarrassment :oops:
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FatherOfFour
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Re: Aren't you afraid of being discovered ?

Post by FatherOfFour »

Well, let's take it one by one:
A) - Being discovered and leaving the closet:
My wife is _pure_ vanilla, but we went to public BDSM meetings, and I'm sure she has an intuition about what's going on in my mind... But I'm still "in the closet", although:
- I wear/use ropes/metal gear/zip-ties and so...
- I went to public events
- I talk about it (I know someone... here say...)
Yes, You could "prepare" people, so when They'll find You, they'll think: I knew it...

B) - Hiding gear:
I use, used - and intend to use - in this order:
- my workshop (garage/shed/garden tool...)
- my bug-out bag/travel kit (camping kit/...)
- boxes in hidden places (roof, garden, buried, ...)
- Storage services (later/next year) if overwhelmed with gear...

Have fun, Live YOUR LIFE, not other's
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KinkInSpace
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Re: Aren't you afraid of being discovered ?

Post by KinkInSpace »

I know how you feel.

I live at my own and occasionally I do get company over too. No one knows about my kink, and I hide my stuff when they visit.

I accumulated quite a bit of gear by now, so I have quite a few big boxes full of gear which are labeled as follows: bdg, trt, wrb, btp, cht, estm, usof, red. They are obviously abreviations of what is actually in there, namely: bondage, torture, wearables, buttplugs, chastity, estim, used often, redundant. The wearables contain kinky clothes that are just meant to be worn, not to torture (don't contain anything that causes pain, but can contain inserts (butt plugs, etc). Redundant are things I used to use but no longer use, or when I have more of the same, and one is a spare. Think of lubricants, package of diapers, one taken out for usage, the rest is spare, etc.)

Next to that, I have a small box which contains my latex catsuit, and another which contains a paper overall (the wearables box is full... :P)

Next to that, I have some bondage equipment that can be folded or otherwise can be made very small (inflatable) which are big by themselves otherwise. They are stored under my bed with something in front so you don't see them.

Lastly, I have a big dog bench (I have 2, the smaller one fits under my bed, the larger one doesn't) I placed it behind a closet in such way that it doesn't appear to be a dog bench, but instead be part of boxes stacked there.

All the boxes containing my gear are stored in my clothes closet. Anyone who would open it, would see the boxes and my clothes, but not directly see whats in them. The 3 descriptive letters would not directly give away my kink, but I'm pretty sure if they wanted they could or even would find out.

But I don't think they will be snooping around in my closet. There would not be anything for them to find there anyway. And when someone needs something that is in there, I simply tell them to wait and get it myself.

But I don't always keep everything in the boxes. I tend to keep it out the box when I have used it, so I always need to do some cleaning up when people want to come over. So I hate surprise visits... :P I made sure everyone else knows that too, so they always come over only after we all agreed.
Formally known as Slave_L.
I'm not yet very comfortable expressing my love for kink from my private life. I will therefor hide behind my username KinkInSpace and not allow any connections to who I really am. I'm sure you'll understand.
xuebaimeng
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Re: Aren't you afraid of being discovered ?

Post by xuebaimeng »

As you said, it is very embarrassed when I was cought in bondage. Maybe it is a loss in my self-bondage life. This time I play self-bondage in midnight. In my thinking, my mother must have been sleeping in the time of 1 o'clock around midnight. Therefore, I didn't close the light. But as I tied myself tightly and struggled in the floor, I heard the voice of opening the door, and I knew something terrible. Year, my mom see the light in my room still turn on,then she broke in. At that time, I feel very embarrassed and hopeless. :oops: My mom untied me and asked me what I did,and I had no way but to admit what I did. And surely, I was criticized by my mother. Though she didn't throw my toys, but she often came to my room to cheak up I didn't play self-bondage. But I still can look for occation to do it 8)
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bound_jenny
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Re: Aren't you afraid of being discovered ?

Post by bound_jenny »

Isn't the fear of discovery part of the thrill? 8)

What we do is considered naughty, or even deviant, by vanilla social norms. When we do it privately, and get away with it, it gives us an extra sense of satisfaction that we accomplished one more undercover mission and that our cover hasn't been blown. :D

Do I fear it? To some degree, yes. As I said, it's part of the thrill. I was much more afraid in my younger years, but as time (plenty of it) rolls by, I've become more relaxed about it. Being the ornery old mare that I am (some would say, "oh, dearie, you're still young!", since I'm too young to be considered old by the old timers, and too old to be considered young by the young crowd... :roll: ) I'm somewhat prone to blurt out some defiant line that manifests both my irritation at the invasion of my privacy (a bigger issue than the discovery itself, for me) and my total disregard for their opinion about it. I don't like nosy people, and if they snoop beyond locked doors and closed blinds, that really gets my goat.

In the end, for me, it's more a question of having my privacy violated than being discovered. And having part of the fun of concealed naughtiness taken away.

Jenny.
Helplessness is a doorway to the innermost reaches of the soul.
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Gregovic
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Re: Aren't you afraid of being discovered ?

Post by Gregovic »

Currently I keep my bondage gear in a large box on top of my wardrobe closet and a whole collection of female clothes inside the wardrobe and in another box next to it. I have my normal male clothes on the right section and the female stuff on the left, so if only the right door is opened the female stuff is hidden from view. If the other door is opened though :oops: . If someone was to nose around they'd easily find the stuff, but since I own this house normally nobody should be snooping around and strangers are unlikely to even come there as my wardrobe is currently in the attic as most of the house is still somewhat of a construction site.

The only thing that sort of worries me is what my family would think if I ever happen to get killed and they have to clean my house. Most of the time I'm not actually that organised and right now the box of female clothes is "exploded" all over the place. I already have a "in case I get killed" letter in a place my family knows about that currently contains some short instructions about what to do with my body and possessions. I have considered adding a passage in there explaining the how and why of all the female clothes and bondage stuff, but I have never been able to satisfactorily put into writing any sort of explanation.

I have also considered telling my mother about my crossdressing, as she might be open-minded enough to atleast somewhat accept it (My father certainly wouldn't) and she already knows a bit about my bondage kink (Long story short: don't leave your bondage gear in the open and then fracture your ankle in multiple places. Firstly because it hurts (the very bad kind), and two it involves not being able to walk and your mother helping you clean up and getting into your room before you can put it away. That was a bit of an awkward conversation :wink: but thankfully she wasn't judgemental or angry about it. Mostly just surprised basically. Her words were literally "I would never have expected that from you" :mrgreen: . If only she knew :rofl:

As for getting found out, when I was still young I got caught by my father wearing my mums pantyhose... I was already seeing a psychologist at that time for other reasons but this then quickly escalated to me getting send to a psychiatrist. Due to the way it happened I just slammed shut and pretty much refused to talk about it. Even though I now feel like I shouldn't I still feel kind of ashamed about the whole thing. I personally accept that I like crossdressing and have all these other kinks, but I am not yet sure/confident/strong enough to share that with anybody else.
How may I serve you? *Curtsey*
OrgasmAlley
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Re: Aren't you afraid of being discovered ?

Post by OrgasmAlley »

It seems worth noting to the OP... if someone snoops around and finds your stash of kinky gear, admitting that to you or someone else also requires an admission that they went though your stuff without permission. Do not underestimate the pressure to keep THAT little tidbit to oneself.

Of course, anyone with similar concerns might consider taking the time to create a truly effective secret space. There's plenty of information on the Internet, I'm sure. My first decent secret space was a false bottom in a chest, providing about 36x18x2" of storage. There are lots of opportunities in any chest of drawers. I've gone as high-end as a secret room behind a bookcase. If even a careful search will not reveal your stash, you have little to worry about even upon your death.
ZergolMakar
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Re: Aren't you afraid of being discovered ?

Post by ZergolMakar »

Thanks everyone for sharing your anecdotes and points of view.
I'm definitely thinking about building a movie-like hidden stash room behind some heavy piece of furniture, and hide my stuff there to ease my mind.
Sorry for the people that got caught ! It sure would be quite embarrassing (at least I don't think I could handle the shame :oops: )
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JIMDINI
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Re: Aren't you afraid of being discovered ?

Post by JIMDINI »

ZergolMakar wrote:Sorry for the people that got caught ! It sure would be quite embarrassing (at least I don't think I could handle the shame )
It can work out to your advantage, once you are over the embarrassment. :oops: .
While I did not actually get caught, I had to text a friend because I was stuck, they turned out to be very understanding, so now I have a human back up. :D
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TNTBound
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Re: Aren't you afraid of being discovered ?

Post by TNTBound »

JIMDINI wrote:
ZergolMakar wrote:Sorry for the people that got caught ! It sure would be quite embarrassing (at least I don't think I could handle the shame )
It can work out to your advantage, once you are over the embarrassment. :oops: .
While I did not actually get caught, I had to text a friend because I was stuck, they turned out to be very understanding, so now I have a human back up. :D
having read a few of your adventures, i think they are more like a human release mechanism. :P
For those that get it, no explanation is needed. For those that don't, no explanation is possible.
"Some men just want to watch the world burn" - i can relate to this more and more the older i get!
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