I joined this board specifically to participate in this discussion.
bound_jenny wrote:
Leaving a sub unattended is, as far as I am concerned, criminal negligence. There has to be some form of monitoring, even if it is unknown to the sub. Things can go irreversibly wrong very quickly, and when dangerous props are used, even more quickly. It is no different than self-bondage without backup.
I am right there with you on this. It is horribly dangerous, and very irresponsible of the top. If your playmate has an abandonment fantasy(like I do), then the safest thing would be to simply blindfold the bottom, and 'pretend' to leave them--say 'goodbye, walk over to the door, open it, and close it. Then, you just tiptoe to a chair, and sit silently by and watch over them. This person places their trust, their well-being, their very lives in your hands, and that level of trust deserves the most reverent respect.
bound_jenny wrote:As for the absurdity of BDSM being practiced with someone one cares about, quite the contrary. In fact, caring about the other is the essential ingredient that creates the bond between dominant and submissive, and makes BDSM an expression of sensuality instead of ordinary torture.
Using a more common example, having sexual intercourse with someone you care about is "making love". Doing it with someone you don't care about is, at best, just humping or, at the lowest level of bestial inconsiderateness, rape.
100% agreement with you, here.
bound_jenny wrote:The only person I would allow to dominate me, or allow myself to dominate, is someone I deeply care about, who deeply cares about me, with whom I have a solid emotional and romantic bond and a rock-solid trust. A life partner, no one else. No strangers, not even friends, no matter how close. I have to know the person through and through, and vice-versa. No secrets, everything transparent. If the mutual trust runs that deep, then I can be confident.
Otherwise, no dice.
Jenny.
Kind of part company with you here. I would likely play with a trusted friend, but then, I tend to care pretty deeply about my friends.
Sorry to butt in..