What to do when partner is tied up

"Normal bondage" with a partner. Post here if your post do not fit the selfbondage threads.
Rozora
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What to do when partner is tied up

Post by Rozora »

My boyfriend is very into bondage while I am a bit more hesitant with it - I like it that's not the problem, however, we are switches and my boyfriend wants me to be more initiative dominant and I am really bad at it as I don't really know what to do with him when he is tied up in a position - besides I don't which positions I should put him in...

I know he likes being mummified but I seriously don't know what to do with him afterwards and he does not want to tell me what I could fx do, so I am seeking advice for what I can do with him when he is tied up.
I may need to say that he doesn't get turned on by touches nor outfits so I get really frustrated with him some times.
Any advice?
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smelt
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Re: What to do when partner is tied up

Post by smelt »

My Wife usually just goes and watches TV if she isn't into it. I get to lay there and wonder when she will come in and do anything. It's actually a LOT more fun than it sounds. The "not knowing" is the best part. I would bet, that if you did a duct tape mummification, left him there for a couple hours (check on him constantly, use earplugs, so he cant tell you are there, plus the duct tape is SO loud when it goes over your ears....), and then only unwrap his eyes, to see you dressed in what YOU think is the best looking, kinky outfit you own,(or better yet, buy something he hasn't seen before), so that when he finally CAN see, all he sees is YOU, in all your glory, with him under your control, things would change a bit. Then, for good measure, leave him there for a couple more hours. With just a glimpse of you in his mind. You could even re-blindfold him, to make it that much more of a trip. Don't sweat the details, those can be worked out as you go. Another big plus, would be if you bought a cheap chastity device from ebay (my last one was $20 US shipped...) and put it on him while he was mummified.... then go hide the key before you let him go. That would be a night (or week, or month...) to remember. I hope this helps, at least a little.
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Re: What to do when partner is tied up

Post by lj »

As you are both switches, perhaps it would help if you put yourself in his position, what would you like done to you when you were helpless ? Of course we are all different, and you obviously have different bodies and different sensory systems for erotic stimulation.

So, a few suggestions.

Using the mummifcation, use some rope or chain and secure him to the bed so he can't move anywhere. Blindfold/hooded. Then cut away the mummification around his nipples and genitals. This gives a strong feeling of helplessness. Apply nipple clamps, use several different types and strengths. Use a cane or flogger on them, knock the clamps off. Re-apply. Do the same with the genitals. Then stop and leave him for a while. Repeat.

Use a vibrator on him, or hand stimulate, but don't get him to orgasm. "Edging" like this can go on for a long time and will get him seriously frustrated!

Try a bit of predicament bondage - this means you put him in a position that requires him to make a painful choice to relieve another pain. For example, tie him to the bed by his wrists. Tie a thin cord round his balls and fix that to the bottom of the bed, then put clover clamps on his nipple, and tie them to the top of the bed, applying tension. He now can relieve the pain on his nipples by moving up the bed, but that increase the tension on his balls. You can do this vertically, using a door as the fixing point, and his ankles as the lower fixing point.

Finally, look at the scenarios on the main site, most can be used in a partnered situation.

Have fun !
be a switch, double the fun :-)
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Re: What to do when partner is tied up

Post by Anony »

That can indeed be quite challenging. However once done well it is very rewarding for the sub and dominant in my opinion.

It appears he likes you to be in control. He has probably given you some ideas already but likes you to come up with some of your own I suppose?

Here is an idea:

Tie him down on the bed. Not the usual spread eagle tie (the X) but with his belly facing the bed. Have him leaning on his knees and arms, so he's kneeling in some way. Tie each arm to the side of the bed and do the same with the ankles. He should be tied up and bend over right now. Next take a handcuff (or piece of rope) but preferbly handcuffs, and close is around his balls and penis. Connect the cuff to some rope and pull it over his head to the end of the bed (or a higher point) somewere in the room, tighten it until he is in the perfect "bend" position. He can't lean backwards now because of this, so he should not be able to go into another position. As a bonus it is adviced to also tie his knees to the bed, less wiggling around is better right? Notice how his butt is nicely in the air now? A spanking would do nicely right? If he starts making sound have a gag ready I'll say. If he doesn't want to take it in, gently remind him his balls are strapped down and easily reachable by you. He'll listen, trust me. Now you are asking yourself what to do once his butt is nice and red (or blue depending on your preference). I'd say slip a small plug in him, to keep him filled! You can keep him in the position for a while, or get him out of it except for the balls. I mean you would like to have some control over him when he's not in bondage right? You can proceed to another tie now, spread eagle perhaps? Tell him he's not getting out until something has happened or done. So there you go, one short play for you! The most important thing is just to have the ties done well and be dominant.
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Re: What to do when partner is tied up

Post by Darkrope »

You could also use him to your own benefit.
Put him on his back on the bed and tie his hands above his head and secure his feet to the bottom. If you have one put him a chastity cage on and tie a dildo just above his genitals.
Blindfold him to raise the imagination.
Now you can ride him as you please, enjoy and moan in ecstasy while the only thing he gets is denial and frustration.
If you're done, just leave him there for the next round. Do that as long as you like.
You can end it with a ruined orgasm or leave the cage on.
If you don't have a cage you can put a crotch rope tight over a pair of underwear shorts. His cock won't have much room for erection.
You can combine this with edging. Double the frustration.

Make him wear and hold a buttplug for determined time or while bound.

If you have a ringgag you can tie him and tease his cock with a vibrator and warn him not to come or you will make him eat his cum.

Just some thoughts.
It's strange how much freedom can be felt in a tight bondage.

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Dark_Lizerd
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Re: What to do when partner is tied up

Post by Dark_Lizerd »

Here is one idea...
http://dbnaked.com/pictures/content/bds ... xperiment/
Then from there, keep looking for more...
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Giles English
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Re: What to do when partner is tied up

Post by Giles English »

Rozora wrote:My boyfriend is very into bondage while I am a bit more hesitant with it - I like it that's not the problem, however, we are switches and my boyfriend wants me to be more initiative dominant and I am really bad at it as I don't really know what to do with him when he is tied up in a position - besides I don't which positions I should put him in...

I know he likes being mummified but I seriously don't know what to do with him afterwards and he does not want to tell me what I could fx do, so I am seeking advice for what I can do with him when he is tied up.
I may need to say that he doesn't get turned on by touches nor outfits so I get really frustrated with him some times.
Any advice?
I think that when a sub refuses to give guidance, then, morally the dominant can pretty much do what they like! (That is, within reason, and as long as the sub has a chance to withdraw consent for anything extreme - so no surprises.)

There's probably a voyeuristic element in this for him - he wants to know what you would do if you were in charge without input from him. Or perhaps it's supposed to be a bit of an adventure.

As I see it, you have too paths.

The first is, you can just be selfish. That is, you can use his bondage to get vanilla things that you like. Those things could be non-sexual, like peace and quiet to watch TV, or very sexual indeed, such as getting as much oral as you want.

The second is, you can set out to top him in order to take him to places that you enjoy having him. Especially for the first attempt, this doesn't have to be at all complicated. You can just "edge him", that is masturbate him in a stop start fashion such that he doesn't quite reach orgasm for a long, long time. If that clearly amuses or turns you on, then the experience will be pretty mind blowing for him regardless of exactly how he is bound (as long as he doesn't get cramp), and you can alternate it with oral sex for you.
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Re: What to do when partner is tied up

Post by KinkInSpace »

When you are the dominant, and he is the submissive, it is your job to do anything to do him that pleases you.

There are of course a few things to keep in mind: Don't do anything that crosses a line of his. You can simply ask: are there things you really don't want? If he says: you can do anything, then you can ask him things that are really bad, such as eating poop, or putting needles through his nipples. I'm sure he'll then start telling you a few no's.

It will work well to have a safe word he can use in case you are about to cross a line of his. In fact, use 2 different safewords. One could be red: this is on my no list, and one is black: emergency, get me out now! On the red one, do something else, on the black one, be ready to dial 911, so get him out asap.

As for ideas: it doesn't hurt to look at the internet for porn galleries to get ideas. He is male, so he will likely be into a form of CBT (can be mild or maybe more). Playing with his nipples is definitely something you want to look into. You can start slow and build up, but the nipples are sexual organs, so it will definitely get him sexually aroused. Maybe some spanking...

And you can of course mix anything he usually doesn't like to do into a sexual thing. For example, you can order him to clean the house while being naked, and while he does so, you follow him and punish him if he does a poor job, or when he decides to not work at all. ;)

Also, tying him up in various positions will help, not to mention, tie him up, get his hands into a position so he can't use them anymore, then make him use his mouth to pleasure you in any way you see fit.
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Gregovic
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Re: What to do when partner is tied up

Post by Gregovic »

Slave_L wrote:He is male, so he will likely be into a form of CBT
I would not be so quick to think that likely. I'm pretty sure there are plenty of males who do not find the idea of CBT in any way a turn on.

It basically all comes down to TALK about it. Ask him about specific things before you actually do things. There is no way to satisfy someone if they don't tell you ANYTHING about what they want.
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Re: What to do when partner is tied up

Post by KinkInSpace »

You're right Gregovic. I actually meant playing with his balls and penis. Doesn't actually have to hurt. Mild forms of CBT don't really are CBT but still classifies as, and I'm pretty sure, if it doesn't hurt but he feels it, he'll be turned on by it. ;) If you play carefully enough, it will most likely turn into actual CBT. :)
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I'm not yet very comfortable expressing my love for kink from my private life. I will therefor hide behind my username KinkInSpace and not allow any connections to who I really am. I'm sure you'll understand.
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Dark_Lizerd
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Re: What to do when partner is tied up

Post by Dark_Lizerd »

CBT could also stand for Cock and Ball Teasing...
Just keep him hard and on edge and frustrated for as long as you want...
After all, what is going to do to stop you???
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Re: What to do when partner is tied up

Post by dsteve »

This just happened to me this week:
We are like you. I (male) am very into bondage and she is somewhat into it. Not as totally perverted as I am but tolerant and supportive. I usually ask to be tied up and she almost always complies. She knows I really like to be teased, and I make it easy for her. I get the ropes out and prepare my position by tying pieces to the corners of the bed. Also my job to clean up afterwards. I use earplugs, and a blindfold. I tie my ankles down and then wait. She comes in and ties my hands. Then the teasing starts. I am already hard and wanting her hand on me. She touches my belly, nipples, inner thighs, but not my cock. Then she leaves.
I am in the dark and can't hear. Is she there or not, watching me or gone. I wait. I have no choice. Finally (10 minutes, seems like longer) she returns. Because of the blindfold and the ear plugs I don't know she is there until she touches me. More teasing, getting a bit more intense. Brief touches on the cock with fingers and with lips. I am in agony, pulling on the ropes. She is kissing me and I am responding. Then, she gets up and leaves again, and again, I have to wait.
This time she comes back and after a little teasing, she straddles my chest. She lifts the blindfold to my forehead. She puts her finger in her pussy and masturbates. Moaning and stiffening. I can only watch. She replaces the blindfold and leaves again.
Finally, she comes back and straddles me again. This time she slides down on my cock and rides me to my orgasm. I get untied and we kiss and snuggle until we sleep.
So, show this and the other responses to your boyfriend and see if anything appeals to him. Definitely make him do the work. And I hope you have fun. After all, what is the point of having a tied captive if you can't have fun with him.
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Re: What to do when partner is tied up

Post by Rozora »

Thanks to everyone who has been so kind to answer last year! I have read and loved every single comment and have had them all in mind when I have afterwards played with my man.
Giles English
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Re: What to do when partner is tied up

Post by Giles English »

Rozora wrote:Thanks to everyone who has been so kind to answer last year! I have read and loved every single comment and have had them all in mind when I have afterwards played with my man.
Glad we could help! Do tell us what you actually did...
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Pretend we re dead
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Re: What to do when partner is tied up

Post by Pretend we re dead »

I used to just watch TV in the other room. Easy for me, bugged the hell out of him. But he eventually got away from me.
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