Question of a sexual nature: Should she orgasm in foreplay?

[KinkInSpace]

Just so this post works for this forum, lets assume you tie your girlfriend up to the bed in a position where she's ready to be taken.

I was wondering the following:

Given that unlike man, a woman will not lose their sexual desires after they get an orgasm.
An orgasm makes their pussy very wet.
A wet pussy makes it far easier to have sex as it's like a natural lubricant.

Wouldn't it be a good practice to deliver a woman to their orgasm before even starting intercourse?

It might even allow the woman to receive their second orgasm when the man receives their first.

[BornThisWay]

Slave_L,

It sounds like you're describing foreplay. Gently Touching, nibbling of the ear, the whispering of sweet nothings, and petting can arouse a lady and get her in the mood.

She can get pretty wet without having an orgasm.

My wife prefers to orgasm together. I think it's like an inclusion thing, not sure, I'm still trying to figure out the female mind.

Not sure if I agree with some of your premise statements.

Given that unlike man, a woman will not lose their sexual desires after they get an orgasm.

I know from my experience, many times both of these statements have been proven false.

I believe a man will approach sex with the mindset of logic and desire (enter the Seinfeld episode where Jerry is explaining "the technique" to ---- crap, I cant remember his short fat friends name - will fix in an edit ---- ). It was all action reaction based, mechanical, like programing with the goal of achieving the desired effect.

But, after my years of trying to figure out the female mind, the act of sex or (making love) is much more rooted in emotion than it is logic and physical action. Which is why we lower the lights, light the candles, turn on the soft music, and ask her about her day, as we are rubbing her feet, (pre-foreplay). I guess we can call it our mating dance. And this is all from a man's understanding of a lady, so I'm sure I'm wrong. But you don't need to bring a woman to an Orgasm before you start, because I believe she would rather share the orgasm.

So as a "good practice" no, it's situational based. I suppose if it was angry sex or (make-up sex) where she just wanted to get fucked for some stress release it would be fine to try to bring her to Orgasm first, but every single time, no. It may make her feel like she's your car in winter and you have to go crank her and let her warm up before you drive. But like I said, as a man, I have no idea and I may never figure it out.

[FatherOfFour]

In my wife's case, I would not do this way...
When we make love, I _have_to_ hurry, or else I'm left behind: she doesn't like more action after Orgasm other than cuddling!

We had more during nights, but only with naps between - and if I felt any swelling/discomfort of her pussy, kiss it good-bye...

i.e. She likes it on her terms: no Olympics... I'm more of a marathoner guy, so I have to sprint or cold showers...

But there are more differences (like me a kinkster and she pure vanilla), and we managed a couple of decades, so I'm confident in the future...

Have fun, don't try to understand,
f4

[Sir Cumference]

........

Wouldn't it be a good practice to deliver a woman to their orgasm before even starting intercourse?

It might even allow the woman to receive their second orgasm when the man receives their first.

This is a really good question.
Lets start with a joke to lighten the mood:

One day Adam and Eve notice God standing before them, holding a bag.
"Hi, God. What's in the bag?" asked Eve.
"These are a couple of things that were left over from creation that I thought you two would be interested in." God rummages around in the bag a moment. "Okay who wants to be able to pee standing up?"
Adam immediately puts his hand up in the air, waving frantically. "Me! Me! Me! Oh, oh, PLEASE, God, let me have it! Just think of how much more work I could get done in the fields if I could pee standing up! And it would help so much when I'm out hunting! Oh, please, please, please let me have it!"
"Well, all right," says God. "Now, let's see what we have for you, Eve." God rummages about a bit more in the bag.
"Ah, right. Multiple orgasms."

Many women can, and there is even written a book about your question, called "She comes first".


A penis is great for the purpose of general fuckery, but it has its limitations. It is typically single shot, and in the case of Lady C, she considers it to be "snuggle time" once the blob has landed.


But until that has happened..... Oh the fun!
It is not uncommon that she has at least 2-3 orgasms before any penetration takes place, at which time she gets pretty insisting that the salami should be dropped in the box. And since I am a well behaved husband, who am I to deny that?


Unles of course she happens to be tied up, and I have other plans.

Fingers, tongue, toys, g-point massage, g-point massage and tongue (that is a good combo!), spanking, butt massage, nipple clamps..... Ok, enter the salami!
Humping away happily, and when I get close, I pull out and dive again
Some more humping and when I get close, she never knows if I'll dive or drop the blob.
Sometimes I will tell her, which makes her take off like a rocket.


And if she is tied up, I sometimes dive again after coming, just for that last orgasm.
I don't quite know if she "likes" that formally, but it is very strong.



So to answer the original question: it is very rare, that Lady C does not have at least one orgasm before penetration commences.
When it happens, it is typically because of time constraints or because the act of fucking is the main purpose, not pleasure.
And sometimes it is about carnal lust here and now, screw the romance and the artistic approach.



After a good and lengthy romp, Lady C sometimes looks at me and casually remarks:"But don't be envious, you can pee while standing"

[bound_jenny]

I was going to give a serious answer to the original question, but I've been laughing so hard reading the other posts, I have a belly ache.

That Adam and Eve joke really lightened the mood.

Then the following expressions:

...the salami should be dropped in the box.
...drop the blob.

In the case of the salami affair, if anyone notices me stifling some giggles while in a deli as my order is prepared... blame Sir C.

Well, at least I can get semi-serious with this:

I'm still trying to figure out the female mind...
...the act of sex or (making love) is much more rooted in emotion than it is logic and physical action.

That will always be an unknown variable. From one woman to another, or even with the same one. That's because with anything, we ladies do it with our feelings, i.e. it's the feeling of the moment that dictates our choices. Circumstances may be similar or even identical, but the reaction may be completely different. That's why you guys are befuddled at our behavior. There's little predictability, except what we plan well in advance (those blue curtains, of that particular shade and not another, they were chosen while still in grade school... so don't even think of changing them, not even for another shade of blue).

I like cuddling after The Big One (afterglow). Foreplay is important to set the mood. There are common themes but each woman is different and will respond most strongly to only certain stimuli (which may be different from the lady across the street). For instance, I find that a good, tight corset heightens the physical responses , but other women wouldn't dream of wearing a corset for anything (most likely, they haven't tried). And I like variety, not routine (that's where kink comes in - no end of resources). But that's me. Not the neighbor. Not the lady across the street.

So basically, guys, roll the dice. It's up to you to discover what turns your Lady on (observe and adapt), and to keep looking for new things for her to discover too. But not all at the same time (too much of a good thing is bad, and it's better that you keep plenty of stuff in reserve for later ).

But like I said, as a man, I have no idea and I may never figure it out.

Your duty is to at least look like you're trying. That goes a long way toward pleasing us. Just keep away from the curtains.

Jenny.

[KinkInSpace]

Making a post like this, I think it pretty damn well looks like I'm trying!

But I think my point is proven. Yes of course I meant giving her an orgasm (or more) during foreplay.

And the confines of how she gets the orgasm can vary. I was just wondering that if couples have a bit of foreplay where she doesn't get enough in the mood or perhaps even skip foreplay altogether and they dive straight into the game and he comes and she may or may not (likely not) it is the reason why males often enjoy sex while females often don't. (at least that's the dogma I'm hearing for normal couples) I also hear that the girls in those couples often pretend they enjoy themselves just to please the man.

But I'm not looking at this as a science, it was just something I was thinking about and that made me wonder. Everyone is different and it may not be the case for everyone, but it may be a way to make the act of sex more enjoyable for both, because it might be that it was done wrong before.

[davisev5225]

(those blue curtains, of that particular shade and not another, they were chosen while still in grade school... so don't even think of changing them, not even for another shade of blue).
...
Just keep away from the curtains.

http://doublemesh.com/wp-content/upload ... tion-1.jpg

Just change "violet" to "purple", and this is spot-on!

[bound_jenny]

ROFLMAO... That's funny because it's sooooooo true...

But incomplete - where are all those subtle shades of white?

Jenny.

[Sir Cumference]

I'm amazed that there are so many colors on the right hand side!



In this discussion I think it's important to remember, that the brain is the largest erogenous zone of them all. And you don't have to be naked to rub it.
You can start well in advance by making your intentions clear with hints or in a more graphic way.... But do be careful with SMS! I once texted Lady C while she was in the train on her way home from a meeting.
When she got off the train, the colleague she traveled with wished her a good night ... In an unusually cheery way.
Thinking about it, she had been to the toilet when it arrived, and the phone had been on the table, and would both have buzzed and displayed the first line or two.

Her colleague never mentioned it, and we have no idea if she read it.


The other important part (or problem) is what Jenny said here:

So basically, guys, roll the dice. It's up to you to discover what turns your Lady on (observe and adapt), and to keep looking for new things for her to discover too.

And that is the cause for a lot of problem.
Males are not particularly good at "fine hints" or mind reading, and women expect them to be!

If more people would communicate some more, a lot of things would be much easier:
- I really like ....
- I don't really like ....
- I would like to try ...
- That is awesome, more of that!
But we teach people to hide what they want and to actively ruin their own pleasure instead!

Sex is serious business, but it shouldn't be taken too seriously.


When it comes to getting her really exited, then there is one sure-fire method:

Jump on, do your stuff, get off, then wipe the wilting salami in those awful blue curtains!
That will send her through the roof.

[bound_jenny]

then wipe the wilting salami in those awful blue curtains!
That will send her through the roof.

They're aqua curtains. Men...

And if you do wipe your salami on the curtains, the only roof you'll be seeing for a while is the one on the doghouse.

Best put that salami back in the box. And use a paper towel!!!!



Jenny.

[KinkInSpace]

Haha so true.

I am able to see the different shades in colors, but I'm not good in naming them. I do tend to distinquish light red and dark red and pure red, though thats usually not enough, but the woman seem to appreciate it when I try to take effort.

But if they really demand me to name the colors and the conversation goes as follows, they're not pleased either... Woman...

Me: I'm finishing up but I'm short of paint. Would you mind getting some additional one?
Her: Sure. What color should the paint be?
Me: Blue, same as the paint on the floor.
Her: Yes, but what shade of blue is it?
Me: Eh... #2030B0
Her: What? Thats not a color!
Me: Pff... the paintbucket is empty anyway, just bring it with you.

[Sir Cumference]

Impressive!

Sliding from sexual etiquette to RAL color numbers so fast!

[KinkInSpace]

Impressive!

Sliding from sexual etiquette to RAL color numbers so fast!

You have hamsters, I am a nerd. Big deal... xD

[bound_jenny]

Impressive!

Sliding from sexual etiquette to RAL color numbers so fast!

You have hamsters, I am a nerd. Big deal... xD

...rim shot...

I can see this thread hijack moving toward a debate on the color of hamsters.

Or what shade of blue is a hamster frozen in Ice VII.

Jenny.

[BornThisWay]

It wasn't me this time Slave_L

I can see this thread hijack moving toward a debate on the color of hamsters.

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