Tying myself for partner

"Normal bondage" with a partner. Post here if your post do not fit the selfbondage threads.
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Aptuve
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Posts: 1
Joined: 09 Dec 2016, 14:32

Tying myself for partner

Post by Aptuve »

Hi All

I’ve been lurking here for a while, but finally got the courage to post. I’m male with a partner of 5 years. I’ve been playing around with self bondage for a long while, but I am trying to slowly introduce my partner to bondage etc. We’ve talked about it before and played a few games with light bondage and she quite enjoyed them. She’s not the best at talking about sex though, so I am trying to play it slowly and not freak/stress her out enough to put her off. At the same time, trying stuff works a lot better for her, though she still sometimes hits a mental blank, which puts her in the wrong head space.

I’ve an idea that I want to try, to move things forward, but also feel it could do with sanity checking any the input from you amazing people. :whip:

Basic idea is that I want to tie myself up for her to ‘find’ when she gets home. I will also leave a note explaining why I’m like that, and some ideas she can play with (to avoid her mind going blank). I know what ideas would work for me, but I want this to be as enjoyable for her as possible, and they don’t always match.

2 main questions. (Nominally aimed at some of the ladies here, buy if any of the guys have ideas on them, chime in)

What position would allow for the most fun for her?

What sort of things should I put on my note/list?


The only position, that I can think of, that is optimised for her pleasure is spread eagle on the bed, maybe with a pillow to raise my head up for her to ride my face. I would prefer to find something more interesting though, since we’ve used that a couple of times, and I would like to expand her/our horizons.

Note wise, I’ve the obvious, riding my face, riding my cock, ticking etc, but I would love some ideas beyond those focused on her pleasure/amusement rather than mine.

I love playing around with predicament bondage and mild humiliation myself, but I suspect I’d take her too far out of her comfort zone jumping in with that, for now. I’m tempted to leave a set of nipple clamps out with our other toys to see if she makes use of them. I’m also planning on ‘suggesting’ she uses her worn panties as a gag if I get too noisy. Though I’ve yet to figure out the best wording for it.

Safety wise, I plan to set things up, but not leave myself trapped until I hear her key in the front door. That way I can get out if need be. We also have a safe word, though I doubt we will get close to needing it.

I will also make sure I’ve not picked a day when she’s tired or stressed out, as well as using texts to put her mind on topic during the day. As well as laying some toys out for her next to me.

What are people’s thoughts and opinions on this? Worth working on, or not a good idea?
KinkInSpace
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Joined: 24 Dec 2015, 16:11
Location: Netherlands

Re: Tying myself for partner

Post by KinkInSpace »

You should keep the following in mind with this idea:

When she got home from work, her mind is still at work being busy.

She comes home expecting some quiet and relaxing evening. When she suddenly finds you like that, it may shock her system and her work mind-set may aversively cause her to untie you.

In order to prevent this, you will need to prepare her. That means, she should not be going into the house, call your name, not hear from you, get worried, look for you, find you tied up and think something bad happened. If that's the case, the fun is over no matter what.

Instead, you could put a note at the front door for her saying: Hi hun, I have a surprise for you. Come on in.

Then in the hall way, you place another letter for her to find: Curious what it is? Its a big surprise, and I'm sure you'll like it. Take off your jacket and come on in. You'll find something on the kitchen table.

On the kitchen table, you'll place another letter: Are you ready for the surprise yet? Okay, you'll find me with the surprise in the bedroom. You don't need to dress for the occasion, I already did.

At this time she knows what kind of surprise is waiting for her, but nothing more. Her mindset has had time to adjust properly and she should now be in the mood to at least do something that suits you. Of course the final note with you tied up is in the bedroom.
Formally known as Slave_L.
I'm not yet very comfortable expressing my love for kink from my private life. I will therefor hide behind my username KinkInSpace and not allow any connections to who I really am. I'm sure you'll understand.
greentea
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Joined: 30 Sep 2016, 02:46

Re: Tying myself for partner

Post by greentea »

You also might wish to take it a slightly different route, again if she works, when you or she gets home, hand her a collar and tell her to put it around your neck. Basically in the same breath tell her your going to be her personal slave boy for the evening and take her purse from her hands and put it where she normally puts it. Bow your head and ask her if she would like something to drink, then play from ear after that. Go into bondage after she warms up to the idea that she can be in control of you.
BornThisWay
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Joined: 26 Dec 2014, 06:15
Location: South East USA, next to the big tree.

Re: Tying myself for partner

Post by BornThisWay »

Using my powers of empathy, If I were a woman, (tee-hee, there's a thought):
If I were a woman and I came home to find my man tied up, my first thought would be get out and call the police because the perpetrator may still be in the house.
If you're going to do this, I would leave a trail of rose peddles for her to follow, have some romantic music playing, maybe the lights dimmed (no candles of course) not lit ones anyway. You can have some unlit ones with instructions on how to do wax play if you like.

You should NOT be all tied up, IMHO, maybe just a collar and a leash. Put a banner above your head that says "your the boss"
As soon as she gets home, make her at ease, offer to massage her feet, neck (maybe not in that order).
Then simply let her lead and don't top from the bottom.
The more she's enjoying herself, the farther she will let herself go.
I can tell you that her self enjoyment is the key.

Also, don't be too quick to get into sex, it's not about the sex. Getting into the right frame of mind is about the foreplay. After the scene, scenario, is over and you are coming down, doing after-care, or smoking a cigarette. That is the time, IMHO, to talk about what you did, what you liked about it, what you didn't care for, and what you fantasize about.
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