Pain? (My fwb is afraid to hurt me, but I want more)
Pain? (My fwb is afraid to hurt me, but I want more)
My biggest turn on is being completely helplessly bound and punished. My fwb is afraid to hurt me and might whip me once or twice. What are some good ideas or ways to show her that it doesnt hurt as bad as she thinks, and that i enjoy it and want a lot more pain and punishment? I also have a much higher pain tolerance than her. What are some other ways she can punish me?
Last edited by Sir Cumference on 11 Mar 2016, 14:07, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Headline expansion
Reason: Headline expansion
Re: Pain
kneel before her and beg her to torture your nipples with her finger & nails only until you cum without further stimulation.
this will probably give her a good idea of your paintolerance & masochistic tendencies.
this will probably give her a good idea of your paintolerance & masochistic tendencies.
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bound_jenny
- Moderator
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- Joined: 09 Dec 2007, 12:37
- Location: Montreal, Canada, Great Kinky North
Re: Pain
To generalize what Ponylady said (and which I agree with), start slow and build up her confidence, letting her know your limits while respecting hers. Once she knows how far she can go, and is comfortable and confident with the idea, she'll come around.
You would be surprised how even a little pain stimulation - like rapid, light tapping of a riding crop - can turn someone on. She doesn't even need to go to extremes to get you really turned on. Add a little denial to the soup, and that can be just as much torment as pure pain itself.
She'll eventually learn that she can wield a lot of power with very little effort. That's when Pandora's Box will be opened.
I'd say that from there, buckle your seat belt, because you'll be in for one heck of a ride.
Jenny.
You would be surprised how even a little pain stimulation - like rapid, light tapping of a riding crop - can turn someone on. She doesn't even need to go to extremes to get you really turned on. Add a little denial to the soup, and that can be just as much torment as pure pain itself.
She'll eventually learn that she can wield a lot of power with very little effort. That's when Pandora's Box will be opened.
I'd say that from there, buckle your seat belt, because you'll be in for one heck of a ride.
Jenny.
Helplessness is a doorway to the innermost reaches of the soul.
If my corset isn't tight, it just isn't right!
Kink is the spice of life!
Come to the Dark Side - we have cookies!
If my corset isn't tight, it just isn't right!
Kink is the spice of life!
Come to the Dark Side - we have cookies!
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Sir Cumference
- Moderator
- Posts: 1608
- Joined: 29 Jan 2012, 22:00
- Location: Scandinavia
Re: Pain
As long as you maintain an erection and smile after each stroke.....
Talk to her during!
If you insist to be mummyfied and gagged, no wonder she is cautious.
Guide her. It is not different from having her scratch your back.
( and let her to go slow, get the feeling, get the practice )
Provide the feedback she needs, to do it right. When she has the routine, then she can tie you up for real.
Mental bondage for a start?
Hold onto your ankles, and if you let go, the fun ends for today. And it is your duty to guide her too.
Talk to her during!
If you insist to be mummyfied and gagged, no wonder she is cautious.
Guide her. It is not different from having her scratch your back.
( and let her to go slow, get the feeling, get the practice )
Provide the feedback she needs, to do it right. When she has the routine, then she can tie you up for real.
Mental bondage for a start?
Hold onto your ankles, and if you let go, the fun ends for today. And it is your duty to guide her too.
~ Leatherworking, blacksmithing , woodworking and programming are the most pervertable skills you can learn! ~
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KinkInSpace
- *****
- Posts: 2149
- Joined: 24 Dec 2015, 16:11
- Location: Netherlands
Re: Pain
Work with safe words.
Tell her she has to start slow, and build up, and you will use safewords to tell her how she's doing.
Popular safewords are:
Green: This is great, please keep going. Can take some more.
Orange: Okay, this is good, but I'm getting near a limit. You may want to slow down a bit.
Red: Please stop immediately.
Avoid using a gag to get her to like it.
While gagged, use different kind of safeword, such as shaking your head 3 times and mumbling "nuh-uh-uh" at the same time for red.
Also, it will really help to explain her why you love pain. Explain how the helplessness and pain get you into that zone, which is basically a form of meditation.
Being bound and undergoing pain is a very spiritual thing.
Tell her she has to start slow, and build up, and you will use safewords to tell her how she's doing.
Popular safewords are:
Green: This is great, please keep going. Can take some more.
Orange: Okay, this is good, but I'm getting near a limit. You may want to slow down a bit.
Red: Please stop immediately.
Avoid using a gag to get her to like it.
While gagged, use different kind of safeword, such as shaking your head 3 times and mumbling "nuh-uh-uh" at the same time for red.
Also, it will really help to explain her why you love pain. Explain how the helplessness and pain get you into that zone, which is basically a form of meditation.
Being bound and undergoing pain is a very spiritual thing.
Formally known as Slave_L.
I'm not yet very comfortable expressing my love for kink from my private life. I will therefor hide behind my username KinkInSpace and not allow any connections to who I really am. I'm sure you'll understand.
I'm not yet very comfortable expressing my love for kink from my private life. I will therefor hide behind my username KinkInSpace and not allow any connections to who I really am. I'm sure you'll understand.
Re: Pain? (My fwb is afraid to hurt me, but I want more)
I had this problem with my wife. I'm the one that didn't want to hurt her. I still don't. I grew up in a house where my parents dealt with child abuse and I had it drilled into me never to hit anyone. I don't like to be hit either.
So, my wife likes to be spanked. I had a lot of touble with this. I would be too gentle and she wanted more. I was always afraid of hurting her and leaving marks.
What helped me was to go to a class on spanking. The Center for Sex Positive Culture in Seattle gave a class on rough play. The first class was on spanking. There were a few more advanced classes later in the week, but spanking was plenty for me.
In this class I learned, up close and personal, how to spank. Where to spank. What it looks like when you go too far. I specifically asked what it looks like to give someone a bruise and a person volunteered to get one.
Now, I know what to look for so I don't leave lasting marks. I know to alternat hands, or use utencils if my hand begins to hurt. I know to use fatty tissue and not strike bony areas. I also know that there are other areas that people like to be spanked other than the butt.
The best thing I saw was a person who truly enjoyed pain. My wife may not react that way to it, but I saw for my very own eyes someone truly enjoying it. The look of bliss and the smile that followed.
Taking that class changed my life in the bedroom. I am now very comfortable spanking my wife. I can check in with her to see if she wants more, or is happy with what shes' got. I spread it around when I see little red spots begin to appear. I use different styles for a deep thud or a topical slap.
I recommend taking a class for getting over not wanting to hit someone. Good instruction, Safety, encouragement were all good things.
The only negative was that I didn't take her with me. I do not recommend that at all. She felt jealous that I was spanking someone else even as part of learning how to spank her. I don't blame her a bit on that one.
So, my wife likes to be spanked. I had a lot of touble with this. I would be too gentle and she wanted more. I was always afraid of hurting her and leaving marks.
What helped me was to go to a class on spanking. The Center for Sex Positive Culture in Seattle gave a class on rough play. The first class was on spanking. There were a few more advanced classes later in the week, but spanking was plenty for me.
In this class I learned, up close and personal, how to spank. Where to spank. What it looks like when you go too far. I specifically asked what it looks like to give someone a bruise and a person volunteered to get one.
Now, I know what to look for so I don't leave lasting marks. I know to alternat hands, or use utencils if my hand begins to hurt. I know to use fatty tissue and not strike bony areas. I also know that there are other areas that people like to be spanked other than the butt.
The best thing I saw was a person who truly enjoyed pain. My wife may not react that way to it, but I saw for my very own eyes someone truly enjoying it. The look of bliss and the smile that followed.
Taking that class changed my life in the bedroom. I am now very comfortable spanking my wife. I can check in with her to see if she wants more, or is happy with what shes' got. I spread it around when I see little red spots begin to appear. I use different styles for a deep thud or a topical slap.
I recommend taking a class for getting over not wanting to hit someone. Good instruction, Safety, encouragement were all good things.
The only negative was that I didn't take her with me. I do not recommend that at all. She felt jealous that I was spanking someone else even as part of learning how to spank her. I don't blame her a bit on that one.
Re: Pain? (My fwb is afraid to hurt me, but I want more)
i assume you don't work in sales.MakerBDSM wrote: The only negative was that I didn't take her with me. I do not recommend that at all. She felt jealous that I was spanking someone else even as part of learning how to spank her. I don't blame her a bit on that one.
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