bondage or truly bondage? (with poll)

"Normal bondage" with a partner. Post here if your post do not fit the selfbondage threads.

1) What is a "truly Bondage" for you? 2) Is self-bondage a "truly Bondage"?

Bondage isn't really bondage, until you want to get out! But you can't escape, someone else controls your bondage situation, and only someone else can set you free.
7
14%
Bondage is truly bondage, as long as your tied up in an inescapable bondage.
12
24%
Bondage is truly bondage, as long as your tied up, no matter if your in a inescapable or a escapable bondage.
3
6%
Self-bondage isn't really bondage. It can only be truly bondage if someone else controls your bondage situation. With self-bondage your still in control by yourself (and partly by the release mechanisme).
3
6%
Self-Bondage isn't really bondage, until you want to get out! As long as your tied up in an inescapable bondage, and you have to wait until a time-based release methode releases you.
6
12%
Self-Bondage is also a truly bondage, as long as your tied up in an inescapable bondage. And you can’t get out until the release mechanisme sets you free. And as long as you don’t have a backup emergency release mechanisme.
5
10%
Self-Bondage is also a truly bondage, as long as your tied up in an inescapable bondage. And you can’t get out until the release mechanisme sets you free. And as long as you don’t use the backup emergency release due that bondage time.
6
12%
Self-Bondage is truly bondage, as long as your tied up, no matter if your in a inescapable or a escapable bondage.
7
14%
 
Total votes: 49

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GamePlayer
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bondage or truly bondage? (with poll)

Post by GamePlayer »

Bondage can be put in levels from beginner to experienced. But when do you call bondage: "truly bondage"?

A Quote I've read on the forum:
Bondage isn't really bondage, until you want to get out

I think that quote a good way to describe bondage: Being tied up (inescapable) and you want to get out, only you can't, feeling completely helpless. :gag:

Or is 'just being tied up' also truly bondage, and how about self-bondage: is that also "truly bondage"?
I also collected a few question about this subject in a poll:
http://www.misterpoll.com/polls/610070

Just wondering what your opinion is about this. Or is everyone thinking the same about this?
Love to hear your thoughts about this subject "truly bondage" in this post.
(And for the people who don't want to answer directly on this forum, please to my poll. Thanks)

Update: Created the poll above. So people now also can vote inside this post.
@lj : Thanks, I found the poll creation tool :D
Last edited by GamePlayer on 04 Feb 2016, 21:43, edited 2 times in total.
lj
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Re: bondage or truly bondage?

Post by lj »

first off, you can create a poll directly on this site. Just start a new thread in a suitable board, then look down below the text box and you'll see a tab marked "poll creation" click on that and you get some more boxes to create the questions, the responses etc. and you can explain your question in the text area, plus give it all a title.

Now, my answer, but as I've not done self-bondage for several years, my answer is based on partnered bondage.

During "play" where bondage is secondary - for example a flogging/caning/whipping - a token bondage is OK but not ideal.

Where bondage is the main element, it has to be totally secure, tight and with no opportunity for escape without the intervention of the partner. Add a hood or blindfold and I can just drift off into sub-space :D
be a switch, double the fun :-)
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Re: bondage or truly bondage?

Post by KinkInSpace »

Good question.

In a way I agree, but in another I am not. Bondage where one can still get out is bondage. A harness like Shibari or a Karada are also bondage, and one can argue if these are truly bondage or not, but when one is unable to escape, that, I can also see as truly bondage.

But to keep things in perspective, I would say that bondage that you can't get out of should be labelled inescapable bondage rather than truly bondage, because just tying one's hands behind their back and to a fixture while the rest isn't bound to me is not truly bondage, yet the person can't get out. It is inescapable bondage.

So for me, if you strictly look at bondage, I'd say, look at the art of bondage. As soon as one can consider the bondage an art form, like with Shibari, I say you've got a truly bondage experience, whether it is inescapable or not.

Then again, for me bondage is being bound using ropes or belts. Just using a pair of handcuffs is not bondage to me, but is being bound.
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Re: bondage or truly bondage?

Post by Toy Man »

This is an interesting question and one I have considered myself. For me there is a difference between being tied up or restrained and Bondage. In my opinion "True Bondage" is when the one in bondage has lost all free agency. They can make all the decisions they want but can not act on any of them. They cannot speak, move, or choose what happens to them. This can be self "inflicted" with the use of some sort of timer or it can be done by another person.

Here is an example: Normally I am the top and when my wife and I play I spend a great deal of time making sure she realizes how vulnerable she is. She knows that she has no control over what happens to her. To me that is "True Bondage". However, once in a while we reverse roles and she more or less ties me up.

To me there is a big difference between bondage and being restrained or simply hand cuffed.
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Re: bondage or truly bondage? (with poll)

Post by KinkInSpace »

I'm missing: "Truly bondage is bondage where the act was done as an artform, such as tying a Shibari."

Therefor I voted differently.
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Re: bondage or truly bondage? (with poll)

Post by bound_jenny »

Slave_L wrote:"Truly bondage is bondage where the act was done as an artform, such as tying a Shibari."
I'm with you on that, Slave_L. Especially when it's done by a real master of that art. :love:

Jenny.
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Re: bondage or truly bondage? (with poll)

Post by KinkInSpace »

bound_jenny wrote:
Slave_L wrote:"Truly bondage is bondage where the act was done as an artform, such as tying a Shibari."
I'm with you on that, Slave_L. Especially when it's done by a real master of that art. :love:

Jenny.
I bet you consider the bondage in your avatar a Shibari (and thus art, and thus truly bondage) also? :rofl:
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Re: bondage or truly bondage? (with poll)

Post by Natale »

"Bondage isn't really bondage until you want out" seems to imply a shibari rope harness is somehow unreal or fake bondage, while being locked in just handcuffs alone is "real" bondage.
Being arrested by the police would therefore count as "real" bondage while an escapable self-imposed, gagged, blindfolded hogtie doesn't count?

It's not "really bondage until you want out"? What if you don't want out? :mrgreen:

Maybe none of it is "real" bondage unless you're absolutely, totally immobile in full mummification- anything less and you're just fooling yourself?

Forget trying to precisely label, catalog and index it. I view it as more of an art, with all it's countless styles, methods and varying degrees of severity- just have fun with it! :D
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Re: bondage or truly bondage? (with poll)

Post by tiemeupalso »

this is an argument without a point
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Re: bondage or truly bondage? (with poll)

Post by bound_jenny »

tiemeupalso wrote:this is an argument without a point
I have plenty of pointy things here. I could get one to bring a point to the discussion. :mrgreen:

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If my corset isn't tight, it just isn't right!
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Re: bondage or truly bondage? (with poll)

Post by KinkInSpace »

bound_jenny wrote:
tiemeupalso wrote:this is an argument without a point
I have plenty of pointy things here. I could get one to bring a point to the discussion. :mrgreen:

Jenny.
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Re: bondage or truly bondage? (with poll)

Post by tiemeupalso »

jenny what i was saying is that bondage is different to diffeent people.it is what you make of it.
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Re: bondage or truly bondage? (with poll)

Post by Keyless »

tiemeupalso wrote:jenny what i was saying is that bondage is different to diffeent people.it is what you make of it.
I agree. For me, bondage is any scenario to make me do something or prevent me from doing something. I'm lucky now in that wife is also Mistress K. I consent to being in bondage of course, but I haven't really got much choice :) if I value our relationship. I have to get locked up as and when told. That's the best "lock" of all.

It's certainly not everyone's idea of bondage but, for me, being locked up does not have to involve physical restraint. When circumstances permit, I am in in physical restraint overnight :) and with a remote electrostim locked to my leg during the day :whip: . Mistress had total control in both cases, although I can move freely during the day.

For me, self bondage does not necessarily involve physical restraint either. There were two self bondage scenarios I used frequently and regularly. The first involved being on a beach, dressed only in swim briefs, with no option to get dressed without going in the sea. Of course this was often done when it wasn't exactly beach weather. The other involved being locked out of the house in cycle clothes (locked on) and having either to cycle a given route or wait a long time to get back in.
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Re: bondage or truly bondage? (with poll)

Post by Toy Man »

Keyless wrote:
tiemeupalso wrote:jenny what i was saying is that bondage is different to diffeent people.it is what you make of it.
I agree. For me, bondage is any scenario to make me do something or prevent me from doing something. I'm lucky now in that wife is also Mistress K. I consent to being in bondage of course, but I haven't really got much choice :) if I value our relationship. I have to get locked up as and when told. That's the best "lock" of all.

It's certainly not everyone's idea of bondage but, for me, being locked up does not have to involve physical restraint. When circumstances permit, I am in in physical restraint overnight :) and with a remote electrostim locked to my leg during the day :whip: . Mistress had total control in both cases, although I can move freely during the day.

For me, self bondage does not necessarily involve physical restraint either. There were two self bondage scenarios I used frequently and regularly. The first involved being on a beach, dressed only in swim briefs, with no option to get dressed without going in the sea. Of course this was often done when it wasn't exactly beach weather. The other involved being locked out of the house in cycle clothes (locked on) and having either to cycle a given route or wait a long time to get back in.

Interesting post. I would agree that bondage means different things to different people. There are all different flavors but it's all fun to someone.

Your last paragraph gave me something to ponder, "am I into just bondage or is the fetish side just as important to me ?" Not being able to get free or not letting my partner get free is fun but the visual side of this is even more important to me. A tight, shine corset and heels is more of turn on for me than elaborate rope bondage.

Again we are back to flavors, interesting.
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Re: bondage or truly bondage? (with poll)

Post by Riddle »

Bondage is, by definition, the state of being bound. According to dictionaries, this could mean a person is enslaved to a master and is not free because of that. Another meaning Is a lack of freedom because someone or something controls their life. An informal usage of the word is to use rope and chains for sexual pleasure.

http://www.macmillandictionary.com/us/d ... an/bondage

It is my opinion that "True Bondage" should not be a part of BDSM. Imposing restrictions on a person without consent (freedom to choose) is immoral, illegal, and inappropriate within BDSM.

Within BDSM, I would consider any use of rope, chain, leather, or other matterials to restrict a person's movement to be an act of bondage. This includes chest harnesses which most rope bunnies consider fun, just tying or handcuffing the hands together, and mummification. I prefere bondage that is inescapable; Shibari frequently is not (also frequently very restrictive and inescapable). A good instance of bondage is when all people involved are pleased with the negotiations, application, and outcome. I feel that my prefered mode of bondage cannot and should not dictate to others. What works for me scares most people when they see my medical cuffs. There is not even any rope, chains, or leather! Still just as true of a form of bondage as any other.

So, what is "Truly Bondage"? It is a closed minded opinion from someone who refuses to see beyond their own little world. Within BDSM, the words "Truly" or "True" are rarely used outside of Internet forums. Often times, these words are used to pull new people to their group to keep them for themselves. Be cautious with anyone claiming to "Truly" do anything, let alone bondage. Most people with real experience understand how little they know and understand bondage. Shibari "Masters" are called that by others; the "Masters" themselves are still trying to learn and practice more to truly "Master" Shibari. In my experience and opinion (also matching many writings on Fetlife), those who claim to "Truly" do bondage often have no real experience away from the Internet.

I hope you seek to truly understand bondage and learn what truly works for you. There is no need to label it anything beyond your preference. RACK (Risk Aware Consentual Kink) it up and remember SSC (Safe Sane Consentual)!
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