How do i find out if a partner is into TUGs? (Tie Up Games)

"Normal bondage" with a partner. Post here if your post do not fit the selfbondage threads.
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greeneyedvillain
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How do i find out if a partner is into TUGs? (Tie Up Games)

Post by greeneyedvillain »

Hello, I'm a male and it seems to be increasingly hard to find a partner (or a significant othee) that is into the same stuff. As a male, I enjoy being the dominant one tying up the female partner. But I'm just wondering if there's a more subtle way to ask if someone is into tie up games rather than putting a relationship on the line. Any feedback is helpful.
lj
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Re: How do i find out if a partner is into TUGs? (Tie Up Gam

Post by lj »

The stock answer is to start going to Munches and events in your locality. That way you at least know the people there are probably kinky, so your strike rate will be higher than in the vanilla world.

But as I found, you may be surprised by the willingness of some people to try new things when you least expect it. The problem with bondage is it involves loss of control, so you have to build trust first, then introduce the idea. And the introduction needs to be very slow and gentle until you can assess the reaction and the interest. All you can do is try.

Or you can go the route an acquaintance of mine had. His "chat-up" line was "Would you like to f**k ? He reckoned on a 1 in 10 success rate, with slaps to the face an additional bonus!
be a switch, double the fun :-)
KatelynLovesHogties
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Re: How do i find out if a partner is into TUGs? (Tie Up Gam

Post by KatelynLovesHogties »

Thanks for the info :]
Helplessness is all around us, but some of us choose to embrace it rather than fighting it!!
the_bondage_guy
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Re: How do i find out if a partner is into TUGs? (Tie Up Gam

Post by the_bondage_guy »

You ask them what the kinkest activity they did behind close doors. This is how I got an old girlfriend into a little bondage playing. It was probably one of my fondest memories because I actually got to tie her up and gag her with the pleasure of her knowing she liked it because she knew it pleased me.
IllegalSuch
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Re: How do i find out if a partner is into TUGs? (Tie Up Gam

Post by IllegalSuch »

i feel like you might be shocked. Like one commenter mentioned already, many people are up for new things and even if not, it's doubtful they would fully freak out. If the woman did freak out and wanted out of the relationship, then she might not be for you. i guess it would be up to you to decide if bondage is something you really want in your life. If it is, take the risk and just ask! Master asked me what my thoughts were on bondage and what exactly i liked. It didn't freak me out in the slightest, and now here W/we are exploring bondage together and loving it! :gag:
Fogbound
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Re: How do i find out if a partner is into TUGs? (Tie Up Gam

Post by Fogbound »

It depends on where you are starting from.
Is this for someone you are thinking about starting a relationship with?
Or is it someone you are already sleeping with?

For a new person, it seems like you could cover a lot of ground just by talking. Get into talking about 'what if', like well, we could go see a movie, but then it would be what time, & then what, back to your place? Instead of driving home? Oh, ok, just because it would be easier, or I want to continue this great conversation. Yes, I have a camp pad I can use & you can sleep in my bed, etc the usual!!

If the chemistry is there you can play shy & get them to initiate moves. Let her boss you around, & then you get to do the same... .
In the throes, you can simulate 'bondage' by how you hold someone & see if they like it or resist in a non-sexy / truly objecting way. Tussling / teasing is usually a good indicator of being willing to go further (but don't push it; nothing more obnoxious than teasing or even gentle or implied force if it's not welcome..).

If you're already having hot sex it shouldnt be too much of a stretch to bring up secret fantasies.
Listen to all of hers & figure out what she likes best & how you could help her with realizing some of that.
Then she should try a bit in your direction too.

I have found it's pretty easy to guess when a girl is into submission, & if you are very gentle & considerate (go SLOW), you will eventually (pretty soon, if you do it right)be trusted to get her turned on / helpless / & even MORE turned on!

It seems to be harder to suss out who is likely to be dominant / seems to be deeper covered up somehow.
More talking & observing & maybe hinting (or acting scared!! that worked for me once / she had to PROVE she was trustworthy, & so I had to LET her tie my hands & feet (!) wo. ,, , , fake-protesting all the way, but getting led to the crucial point of actually being really restrained).
I could hardly believe it!
("NOOOOooo, don't throw me in that briar patch!!")
"Es Ist Auch Gefaehrlich Im Bett!"
Fogbound
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Re: How do i find out if a partner is into TUGs? (Tie Up Gam

Post by Fogbound »

. . . . . ........ sent that one off too soon.

Main points are Go Slow / Be Gentle / Communicate.

If she is going to sub, she is going to be in charge, so Listen.
fb
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"Es Ist Auch Gefaehrlich Im Bett!"
BornThisWay
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Re: How do i find out if a partner is into TUGs? (Tie Up Gam

Post by BornThisWay »

Find out what kinds of books she reads. If she likes reading books by Laurell K. Hamilton or similar authors then your chances are much better.
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FatherOfFour
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Re: How do i find out if a partner is into TUGs? (Tie Up Gam

Post by FatherOfFour »

Hi,
I'm happily (vanilla) married, and I'm only "testing" people for fun (mine!):
- I play with small pieces of rope - key-chain, braid, lanyard, etc. Sometimes people ask for it to play themselves, sometimes I give them to keep. It's the way they treat or braid it...
- I play innocent "what if" games
- Sometimes I tell jokes, or newspaper stories on the subject, or the famous line: "The British researchers have found that..."
Off course, while flirting or small talking You could play a plethora of other mind-games, from sadistic-testosterone-filled-dom to let-me-kiss-your-footsteps-sub.

I have to admit I've never proved my findings (I'm also deep in the closet myself), but it's a good training ground.
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