need a bondage partner
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BearWithClaws
- *
- Posts: 22
- Joined: 11 Nov 2012, 03:22
need a bondage partner
I know this is probably not the best place to look. But I've tried Fuckbook.com and a couple other sites and its a total waste of money cause its scam after scam. I need to know of a good website in Mississippi area where I can get in touch with Local Bondage maniacs like myself who are wanting to get farther into the fun. Any ideas?
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Tenderfoot88
- ***
- Posts: 458
- Joined: 17 Sep 2013, 08:00
- Location: British Columbia, Canada
Re: need a bondage partner
Fetlife should be able to get you in touch with the local community's online persona. It's like Facebook, but kinky.
From there, you'll find a lot of special interest groups based on what kind of play you like, as well as regional groups for pretty much everywhere that public internet access isn't a rare luxury (I doubt there's anything in the Congo, for instance, though the fact that I've said that almost guarantees there actually is one there).
The regional group should be able to point you at the local community activities. Probably best to introduce yourself at a munch - a publicly acceptable social get together that usually involves a restaurant - the group will have its rules regarding behavior and dress code, and won't hesitate to make them clear to you. Keep in mind at this point you're just making friends. Attend events, be sociable, and you'll probably find someone willing to move on from there.
Three bits of etiquette to keep track of at the very least: There's a lot more etiquette than just these 3 points, but these tend toward being universal, while a lot of other rules vary a bit (or a lot) depending on the club.
1: don't force the issue. If you're a sub, it's a turn off for doms, if you're a dom, being overly aggressive while still being mostly a stranger paints nightmare visions of the wrong kind of sadism in a sub's mind. Express your interest, yes, just try not to be as maniacal as your post might suggest you are ("local bondage maniacs like myself")
2: If someone's wearing a collar, they're probably taken. A sub wearing a collar given by a dom is at level of commitment at least parallel with a full on dating relationship, if not an engagement (it varies, from what I've heard). So a collared sub is a sub you don't get any playtime with (unless they approach you; it could be along the lines of a girl wearing her grandmother's engagement ring at a bar to minimize male interference in her drinking, or it could be that the dom who gave the sub that collar is OK with them submitting to others. Or they could be doing it behind his back, and going along with it might make you an enemy in the community. Like I said, it's like a girl at a bar with a ring - there's many reasons she might have a ring on, but the most common ones mean you should mind your manners. (Oh, and don't go to an event sporting a collar hoping to attract playmates - it works the same on them as someone else's collar should on you.)
3: Sex isn't necessarily part of the game. If you take it for granted with the wrong sub, you're committing rape. (It'd be a very odd court case, and a vanilla jury would probably having trouble following that being tied up, naked and helpless to be spanked is a lower level of consent than being fucked, but it's still rape.) So if you want sex during the bondage session, ask for sex-during-the-bondage-session in the negotiation stage (which should be before anyone gets tied up).
As for this place, good place for advice on meeting others (we've gotten enough traffic about that that we're used to it). Bad place for actually meeting others. For one, it's a self-bondage site, meaning it caters to the introvert side of the BDSM community. For another, it's a worldwide site with just under a millionth of the world's population signed up. So unless you live in a city of multiple millions, odds are you're literally the only member of the site in the area. As I said to one guy. I'm available to meet up, as long as you live in Antarctica. (Not that I'm actually in Antarctica, it's just making a point using a continent that's pretty much universally exotic.)
From there, you'll find a lot of special interest groups based on what kind of play you like, as well as regional groups for pretty much everywhere that public internet access isn't a rare luxury (I doubt there's anything in the Congo, for instance, though the fact that I've said that almost guarantees there actually is one there).
The regional group should be able to point you at the local community activities. Probably best to introduce yourself at a munch - a publicly acceptable social get together that usually involves a restaurant - the group will have its rules regarding behavior and dress code, and won't hesitate to make them clear to you. Keep in mind at this point you're just making friends. Attend events, be sociable, and you'll probably find someone willing to move on from there.
Three bits of etiquette to keep track of at the very least: There's a lot more etiquette than just these 3 points, but these tend toward being universal, while a lot of other rules vary a bit (or a lot) depending on the club.
1: don't force the issue. If you're a sub, it's a turn off for doms, if you're a dom, being overly aggressive while still being mostly a stranger paints nightmare visions of the wrong kind of sadism in a sub's mind. Express your interest, yes, just try not to be as maniacal as your post might suggest you are ("local bondage maniacs like myself")
2: If someone's wearing a collar, they're probably taken. A sub wearing a collar given by a dom is at level of commitment at least parallel with a full on dating relationship, if not an engagement (it varies, from what I've heard). So a collared sub is a sub you don't get any playtime with (unless they approach you; it could be along the lines of a girl wearing her grandmother's engagement ring at a bar to minimize male interference in her drinking, or it could be that the dom who gave the sub that collar is OK with them submitting to others. Or they could be doing it behind his back, and going along with it might make you an enemy in the community. Like I said, it's like a girl at a bar with a ring - there's many reasons she might have a ring on, but the most common ones mean you should mind your manners. (Oh, and don't go to an event sporting a collar hoping to attract playmates - it works the same on them as someone else's collar should on you.)
3: Sex isn't necessarily part of the game. If you take it for granted with the wrong sub, you're committing rape. (It'd be a very odd court case, and a vanilla jury would probably having trouble following that being tied up, naked and helpless to be spanked is a lower level of consent than being fucked, but it's still rape.) So if you want sex during the bondage session, ask for sex-during-the-bondage-session in the negotiation stage (which should be before anyone gets tied up).
As for this place, good place for advice on meeting others (we've gotten enough traffic about that that we're used to it). Bad place for actually meeting others. For one, it's a self-bondage site, meaning it caters to the introvert side of the BDSM community. For another, it's a worldwide site with just under a millionth of the world's population signed up. So unless you live in a city of multiple millions, odds are you're literally the only member of the site in the area. As I said to one guy. I'm available to meet up, as long as you live in Antarctica. (Not that I'm actually in Antarctica, it's just making a point using a continent that's pretty much universally exotic.)
