Novice advice please

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RosieM
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Joined: 29 Dec 2012, 07:52
Location: Uk South Coast

Novice advice please

Post by RosieM »

Ok, I'm here almost on a new year's resolution.

The idea of self bondage really turns me on, but how do you start?

Give me the most vanilla scenario to get started. Low cost, low profile.

Don't beat me up on this guys. I know I sound a bit clueless, but the scenarios I come across are a bit heavy duty for a novice like me. So let's just get down to basics - how did you experienced people start off? Perhaps I'm asking a question that other lurkers might appreciate an answer to too, so this might be a useful thread.
lj
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Location: East Anglia, UK

Re: Novice advice please

Post by lj »

First bit of advice, take things slowly and read lots on this forum and look at the scenarios on the main site - start with the easy ones and work up gradually.

Safety is obviously important, so you do need to think ahead.

Get some nice rope from B&Q, they do a good line in quite soft polyproyplene, something around 6 to 8mm is a good start, no thinner as it cuts in and gets uncomfortable, much thicker and it is tricky to knot securely. Get a pair of "emergency" scissors, the medical A&E ones are quite cheap and the best choice as they are designed to cut quickly without damaging the patient (or victim in this case...)

If you go down the padlock route, again B&Q (the pervert's supply company :lol: ) have a good range of chain as well. Bear in mind chain and locks are permanent without the key, so make sure you get good locks with spare keys, and perhaps buy a small hacksaw just in case!

Leather cuffs are good, you can get some nice lockable ones from "Freak" and several other BDSM suppliers, or you could make some. We ran a DIY session at my local Munch a while ago, and one demo was to make cuffs using velcro strip - surprisingly effective!

Talking of Munches, I would always advise getting into the local "scene" by going to Munches, they really aren't frightening and you will meet people with similar interests and learn a lot from experienced people. But remember you can always ask questions here, we don't allow flaming so you won't get some smartass trying to amke you feel daf6t for asking a newbie question :)

To aswer your question, ho did I get started ? A (very) long time ago ! was finally told I was not welcome playing at a friends house after I initiated lots of tying-up games involving me and pal aged about 10 and his younger sister aged around 8. Dabbled from then on, then after a gap of many years,re-started about ten years ago, built up a small collection of home-made stuff, then about 3-4 years ago started going to play-parties and Munches, a little over two years ago my wife discovered my kinks and to my great joy has joined me, now both switches in a mainly Domme/sub relationship bolted onto a very happy marriage. As a result, I don't do any self-bondage as My Lady does the business :D
be a switch, double the fun :-)
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Dark_Lizerd
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Re: Novice advice please

Post by Dark_Lizerd »

OK, easy start...
(And this is from someone that has not tied himself up to require a release...)
When you serch this site, and a few others to be listed...
Strip, tie each foot the the front leg of your chair, assuming kitchen style chair, it would need to be different for a PC chair...
Tie each knee to the side so that your knees are held open.
Tie a rope around your waist to hold your back to the back or the chair.
If the back is tall enough, tie more ropes around your chest...
(so far, this will work for either sex...)

Now, surf through the posting here to see what you like.
You can also look http://boundforum.com/index.php
They are a sister site with more ideas...
You could search th internet for "self bondage", "BnD", and the like...
There are LOTS!!! of pictures to go with all this...

Oh, no playing with your self while you go looking.
Oh... http://www.milovana.com/webteases/ has lots of stories and picts also, and the webteases are scenaros
that you follow, doing what it says...
There are ones for boys and girls..

OK, there is a start for ya...
All advice is checked, re-checked and verified to be questionable...
Don't ask, we both wont understand the answer...
http://www.mediafire.com/download/09dtr ... e_V2_2.exe Not just for nubies any more...
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RosieM
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Joined: 29 Dec 2012, 07:52
Location: Uk South Coast

Re: Novice advice please

Post by RosieM »

Hey, thank you very much guys.

It's a complicated scenario I'm in at the moment. Lot's of self denial I guess, and not a lot of opportunities to express myself - hence my delay in responding. I do appreciate your feedback though, and as I speak, or rather type carefully with one hand, my current friend is a simple roll of gaffa tape.

Well, we all start somewhere!
Tenderfoot88
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Re: Novice advice please

Post by Tenderfoot88 »

You're probably not looking for novice help anymore after all this time, but for the sake of posterity:

Another possibility for easy/intro games is a simple spread-eagle on the bed. When I was first starting out (and I'm honestly still a newbie), I bought one of these: http://www.amazon.com/Sportsheets-Under ... B000VHH5DW from a local sex shop. (My second visit - my first trip was more toy-oriented.)

I brought it home, laid it out under my mattress (which was a thin futon thing at the time, though this works with larger foam and traditional style mattresses, as long as they're not too rigid), with the ankle cuffs around the sides about a third of the way up, and the wrist cuffs about 6 inches (15 cm) from the top of the mattress. It took a bit of experimenting to get right, but I find it works best with lots of slack on both ankle cuffs and one wrist cuff, and the other cuff at the final position. Do whatever else you want to do (toys, nipple clamps, cock ring, gag). If you're blindfolding, you'll probably want one with elastic around the back of the head - position it on your forehead so you can put it into proper position with one hand. Attach the ankle cuffs to your ankles, and tighten the straps (those plastic buckle things (more commonly seen on backpacks) work wonders for providing easy tightening). Make sure the wrist cuff with no slack is laying open such that you can lay your wrist into position, then attach the slack cuff and tighten it (At this point, you should be firmly tied to the bed, with only one hand free.) Slide the blindfold (if you're using one) into position, and then place your wrist over the remaining open cuff.

Closing the cuff is a bit awkward, since the hand generally doesn't bend down to the wrist, but it's doable. I use a combination of curling my hand up (hand perpendicular to forearm, fingers grasping for the cuff ends, and wiggling my hand around in order to press the two sides of the velcro together. It never ends up as tight as using the other hand, and it's theoretically easier to undo (if you're a fighter, that is), since there's relatively little velcro actually connected.

Once you manage to close that last cuff, you're "stuck" with your arms and legs spread wide, I've managed a few times to get the dildo in my ass positioned such that it will slide out partway when I do a hip raise, allowing me to ride it hands free, which feels amazing. Without the toys it's actually quite relaxing.

The release method is very simple, and does one of two very similar things. If your wrists are close enough to the top of the mattress (which is determined by how flexible the mattress is - traditional ones are pretty rigid, futons are very pliable), pulling hard on them will slide the strap up around the corner and eventually to the middle; if you're not close enough, you have to pull a bit harder, but you should easily be able to overcome the grip of the plastic buckle things and get some slack that way. Either way, you end up with plenty of slack and your hands together near your head. From there, you can easily undo the velcro cuffs and move on from there.

This isn't really a restrictive setup; you can easily escape whenever you want just by pulling on your bonds (legs should have an even easier time overcoming the buckles). It does, however, provide the illusion of being restrained, by making you take the extra step of freeing yourself before you can get up. It's very safe (even if the house is burning down, you'll have time to escape unless you're very unlucky), and provided me with the sensation I was craving.

I've tried a couple of basic variations (adding ropes/more straps to hold the knees/elbows down, for instance), but I find that's more trouble than it's worth - the rig I mentioned really doesn't provide much in the way of customization.

If you can't buy one of these for some reason (they're usually way more expensive than the $25 Amazon is charging at the moment), you can probably find what you need for a homemade version at a fabric store. You'll need several meters of nylon strap, a meter or so of velcro, and 4 plastic buckles sized to fit the nylon strap you picked out. You could just set up 2 straps, or sew them together in an X shape - cut two straps about half again or double the distance between where you want each ankle and the opposite wrist (left wrist to right ankle, and vice versa). Thread the buckles on each end of the strap such that this strap is the adjustable length (if you need an example, almost every backpack has one of these on each shoulder strap). Use a short bit of scrap nylon strapping to make a fixing point to the other end of the buckle, and sew it into place. (Should be doable with hand stitches - you may want to use the more expensive nylon thread to prevent ripping - ordinary thread is nowhere near as strong, so nylon thread is better for making solid hand-stitched connections; those with a machine can make stitches far more easily, so they can just use more with a weaker thread). Then, cut the two velcro halves (the spiky side and the fuzzy side) into 4 lengths - enough to wrap most of the way around your ankle), then sew them together with a lot of exposed velcro, such that an untwisted ring can be secured. Then connect these rings to the short bits of strapping attached to the buckles, such that the spiky side will be facing out of the cuff (unless you're into the whole annoying-pain kind of thing, since there will be a fair bit of scratchy velcro rubbing your wrists and ankles if you do this the other way).

The purchased version is a tad more complex than this - it has an adjustable strap that runs along the bed, connecting 2 split rings (keyrings), which then connect to 2 more adjustable straps on each end leading to 4 more split rings. The cuffs have a soft padded inner lining, making them very comfortable, and are connected to this style of snap hook ([url]http://www.hardwareelf.com/Images/Items ... -004lg.jpg), which ultimately gets connected to the 4 split rings mentioned above. Way more complicated to make, but makes for a much nicer design. Plus, unless you happen to have some of the materials laying around, buying all the stuff you need to make one would likely be at least as expensive as the professionally made product.
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