What's the idea behind Cross Dressing?

Crossdressing as a part of or type of selfbondage.
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KinkInSpace
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What's the idea behind Cross Dressing?

Post by KinkInSpace »

Introductory
I'd like to start with the fact that I don't consider myself a cross dresser. Based on the reactions on the forum, people seem to have different ideas about cross dressing than I am. When I think about wearing female clothes, I do that for how it feels on my skin, but to what I found out, that is not what Cross Dressing is about.

I made this topic in the hopes to learn more about Cross Dressing. What is the idea behind it, what does it bring you, and most important, why do you want it (whats your drive)?

What is Cross Dressing
To my understanding, Cross Dressing is wearing the clothes of the other gender in an attempt to become that sex.

What is the entire idea behind Cross Dressing?
So, basically my question is, am I right, is this indeed Cross Dressing? Also, what are your motivators for doing this? Does it turn you on? Do you consider yourself to be of the other sex but don't want to actually get surgery? Are there other reasons you are into Cross Dressing? Anything else you want to share to help me understand what Cross Dressing is about?

Thanks
Thank you for helping me understand what Cross Dressing is about.
Formally known as Slave_L.
I'm not yet very comfortable expressing my love for kink from my private life. I will therefor hide behind my username KinkInSpace and not allow any connections to who I really am. I'm sure you'll understand.
BornThisWay
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Re: What's the idea behind Cross Dressing?

Post by BornThisWay »

Very limited experience with cross dressing,
However, once in a while I may put on some sexy panty hose or other lacey things before I put myself in self bondage.
For me, it makes me feel sexy and ups the fear threshold of being caught.

The more fear I have of getting caught, the more enjoyment I get from self bondage.
Like so many recent posts, the biggest thrill comes either from a close call of being discovered, or a close call when your primary release mechanism fails and you wait in anxiety for your secondary to kick in.

I honestly don't know what drives me, I just feel the need. I've come to accept it that I am a pervert, but I don't feel the need to publically show the world, so I would never wear anything on the outside. I love when my work takes me out of town and I can get a hotel room. first few days I never leave my room at night. Got to get it all out of my system until it builds up again.
mymy42
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Re: What's the idea behind Cross Dressing?

Post by mymy42 »

There may be a lot of different motivations in doing cross dressing.

In my personal case and as I described it in my introduction post, I would define it as "girl's clothes fetish".

I love how girl clothes feel. Much softer and different shape that male. I love them feeling tight to my body. I don't feel myself feminine, nor would I go into make up, or even surgery.

Just taking these clothes (underwear, stocking, swimwear, or whatever...), touch them, put on my body and enjoy doing some bondage in them. Or even just putting them while being alone doing work at home or being on my computer. For example I loves to put a bra with fake silicon breast and put my regular clothes over it, just to feel them and see that shape when looking down.

Hope this helps.
lj
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Re: What's the idea behind Cross Dressing?

Post by lj »

Slave_L wrote:
To my understanding, Cross Dressing is wearing the clothes of the other gender in an attempt to become that sex.
No it isn't :)

We could get very deep into the meaning of terms and words, which probably won't achieve the OP's question, but I would suggest the following:

cross-dresser - someone who wears clothes meant for the opposite sex for stimulation, on a short-term basis

transvestite - someone who wears clothes meant for the opposite sex AND wants to appear to be that sex, possibly full-time

trans-sexual - someone who feels that they are in the body of the wrong gender and wants to change into the other gender.

I know these are simplifications, particularly the trans-sexual, as this is a psychological/medical condition and rarely one that the person wants, but is forced upon them by whatever it is that governs our sexuality. For what its's worth, I know several trans-sexuals, and their condition is not a kink, it is their reality, and often a painful one. This isn't the same as fantasising about changing sex.

I have observed several people start expressing their trans-sexual character initially by minor cross-dressing, moving to transvestism and finally surgically and hormonally transitioning. This doesn't mean putting on a pair of panties or a bra are an indication you are a trans-sexual.

On a personal level, I cross-dressed for many years, secretly, as part of sexual excitement. My first recollection is putting on a pair of swimming trunks and pretending they were girl's knickers - I was 7 years old - it seemed exciting, but I had no idea why. I started cross-dressing openly at play-parties, I went to the first play-party in a corset, stockings etc, and over the next year or so developed the clothing into a sort of uniform, as I have said elsewhere on the forum - underbust corset, black stockings, 4" heels, "uniform" style black blouse and black leather miniskirt. I wore that to almost all play-parties until My Lady discovered my kink life - cross-dressing is a hard limit for her, so I stopped, there being, shall we say, many other compensations as our joint kink life developed.

So why did I cross-dress ?

Initially it was part of my self-bondage scene, I got a kick out of wearing the clothes, I enjoyed the feel, the texture, the tensions provided by the unfamiliar clothes. I could pretend that I was tying up a girl, with whom I could do what I wanted, experiencing what she was experiencing. As time went on, the clothes became a symbol of my kink life, and as I then found a female play-partner, I could actually do all the tying up and dastardly things to a real girl - it was always a bit of an "in-joke" that she is lesbian, and when we first met I was cross-dressed so playing with me was OK ! The play-parties also gave me the opportunity to actually be the "girl" and get tied up (and a whole lot of other things!)

Apart from occasionally fantasising about being female for a short time - the body-swap idea - I have never wanted to change sex, I have no sexual interest in men, and I never went far enough into transvestism to then include make-up and wigs and going out dressed as a woman in public.

So, I would class myself as a cross-dresser.
be a switch, double the fun :-)
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Re: What's the idea behind Cross Dressing?

Post by Sergio »

I'm fully in agreement with lj - it's just the act of wearing clothes intended for the opposite sex, no more, no less. I've cross-dressed many times, usually as part of a game with a partner. I find that the 'fit' of womens underwear is arousing, being tighter in key areas, constantly reminding me that I'm doing something 'naugthy', and the women like it that they're guaranteed plenty of attention when we're home together again. I have no interest in doing it publicly let alone changing my gender. I'm sure a fair proportion of men are sent to work with their wife or girlfriend's knickers on under their work clothes, likely extending to tights, stockings and more at weekends.

For me it started in about 1982 when I was in my early twenties and at my girlfriend's we'd read the problems page of 'Cosmopolitan' together for ideas and entertainment. One night a letter read something like "I often send my boyfriend to work with my knickers on. He phones me during the day to tell me how aroused it's making him and as soon as he gets home we have great sex. The reason I'm writing is that I'm worried that it's going to make him homosexual." * It was a different world back then. :lol: But when we'd stopped laughing she picked up a pair of her knickers and demanded I put them on, and the rest, as they say, is history.

* One has to wonder to what degree the letters page editors embellish or fabricate them entirely.
KinkInSpace
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Re: What's the idea behind Cross Dressing?

Post by KinkInSpace »

Thanks everyone for the feedback so far.

Am I right in understanding that it is the following:

Wearing clothes of the opposite sex is arousing for you?

I ask this because I do enjoy wearing female clothes, but not because they are female clothes, but because they have properties male clothes doesn't and thus, in order to find that feeling I have to resort to female clothes.

In my books, this does not mean I am a Cross Dresser though, because if there were male clothes with all these features, I would wear those instead.

Please keep the replies coming. I think it will be helpful for others too who are new to cross dressing.
Formally known as Slave_L.
I'm not yet very comfortable expressing my love for kink from my private life. I will therefor hide behind my username KinkInSpace and not allow any connections to who I really am. I'm sure you'll understand.
slavepeter
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Re: What's the idea behind Cross Dressing?

Post by slavepeter »

I think my feelings are the same as yours. The women's clothes I enjoy wearing and usually satin nighties, silky stockings and leather dresses. It is the feel of the materials against my skin as I struggle in bondage that arouses me. It also helps if the clothes are restrictive (like my leather dress) since this adds to the bondage theme.

I have looked at the forced feminisation fetish but if the clothes are normal or over frilly it does nothing for me. Seeing it in silky, tight clothes does appeal to me but there would not have to be much enforcement going on to get me to wear them!
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Re: What's the idea behind Cross Dressing?

Post by Maid_Lauren »

I like the feel of the clothes. The look of the fillled bra under a tee shirt. matching bras and panties. Maid uniforms. Corduroy and denim jumpers.

I can't remember doing bondage with out cross dressing. When I'm dressed I always wear leg irons with a small bell attached.

It would nice to have a partner who I can switch with. Having your hands cuffed is less fun when you have the key.
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vm1971
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Re: What's the idea behind Cross Dressing?

Post by vm1971 »

I crossdress for a number of reasons:

1. I like the feel of the clothes, especially pantyhose.
2. I like to think of myself as a damsel in distress.
3. When crossdressing, I don't view myself as me. I view myself as a damsel I'd like to see tied up, then proceed to be that bound damsel via selfbondage.

I think it really comes down to the fact that I'm so attracted to women that being in their clothes gives me a sort of intimacy that you can't get the conventional way.
tigerX
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To me, it would be an enhancement to bondage

Post by tigerX »

To walk around in 5+ inch heels would make walking even more cumbersome than just wearing foot cuffs.

One day, I would love to have some breast forms. To me, it would add to the humiliation of bondage.
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