The urge to purge

Crossdressing as a part of or type of selfbondage.

The urge to purge

Postby Marissa » 30 Oct 2013, 01:32

I know I always say don't do it. But I have been having the urge to purge all kink. I have done this before and all it really does is cost money and in the end depression and a return to cross dressing, bondage, etc.

My wife consents to my dressing and play and has been my safety person for years. She even recently has had to do a rescue when I got stuck which I posted about a month or so back. But even though she is ok with things, the dressing up does not do much for me too much right now. Self bondage is not as satisfying as it once was. And I had to break off a relationship with a play partner that expected way way too much and was way too controlling.

Recently I have been feeling the urge to get rid of everything. In a way I feel kinda lost. My wife said ok when I said I may stop dressing and told me it is whatever I am happy doing.

I am going with a wai and see attitude right now. I am at the 50 50 point so I feel that I should go slow.
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Re: The urge to purge

Postby Tenderfoot88 » 30 Oct 2013, 04:52

As another person whose inclinations come in phases, I really have to suggest you find another solution. If you have some room in whatever you use as a storage area, box your stuff up for a bit, let it be out of sight and thus out of mind, and when you cycle back towards it, your stuff is there, waiting for you. I've never considered actually getting rid of my toys and equipment - there's enough of it that it'd be pretty expensive to replace, and a lot of it might be difficult to find again. When I'm taking a break, I just stash everything out of the way for however long it lasts, and it's there for me when I need it again.

It's awesome that your wife is OK with both what you've been doing, and letting you stop. So often it's either a guilty pleasure you have to hide, or it becomes a critical part of the relationship.
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Re: The urge to purge

Postby bound_jenny » 30 Oct 2013, 09:11

Tenderfoot88 wrote:If you have some room in whatever you use as a storage area, box your stuff up for a bit, let it be out of sight and thus out of mind, and when you cycle back towards it, your stuff is there, waiting for you.


Exactly what I was going to suggest. Purging will not make your kink go away. It will not cure or fix anything. I have seen many acquaintances do the same, only to regret it weeks or months later. It will come back, there is no doubt about it. Kink has a 100% relapse rate.

Put it away, out of sight, and wait.Then the following will not come true:

Marissa wrote:all it really does is cost money and in the end depression


Hang in there, and remember, kink will not go away. You can push it away temporarily, but it will come back to you.

Jenny.
Helplessness is a doorway to the innermost reaches of the soul.
If my corset isn't tight, it just isn't right!
Kink is the spice of life!
Come to the Dark Side - we have cookies!
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Re: The urge to purge

Postby gemt » 30 Oct 2013, 16:19

Use it as a chance to clear out the cruft.
Bag up all the good stuff and hide it in the back of the cellar for a while.
Anything that is broken, or doesn't fit goes in the bin.
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Re: The urge to purge

Postby eerie » 30 Oct 2013, 18:28

Same for me... I don't really feel any guilt about what I do, or let's say as soon as I start to sense anything like that, I tell myself that it is my life, I live only once and what the hell, fuck off! :D
The other thing is that I have a lot of hobbies, crossdressing and bondage are just some of them. Every day I do what I want and I cycle my hobbies, so this is my approach, it is just another two hobbies of mine. I have a lot of oil paints, will I purge them? Hell, no! They are expensive! Though the last time I have painted was a couple of months ago, but I know I'll return to painting any day now.

I have a beautiful steel collar and though it haven't been in use for quite a lot of time I am not going to throw it away, it is beautiful :D I keep my stuff in a secluded place and don't touch it unless I want to. And I still remember that hilarious story... I had to declare my kinky underwear imported from the US, they had to go through all of it and evaluate its cost, because the sender messed up the declaration. I still feel tension in my body every time I remember that story, no way I am getting rid of that underwear, it revives so many feelings :gag:
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Re: The urge to purge

Postby Marissa » 06 Nov 2013, 01:00

I will be holding off on a final decision for now. But I am putting things away and definitely going through things to see what I can get rid of since I lost a bunch of weight.

I don't really have to hide it since I am out to my wife. But for some crazy reason my mind always says to hide stuff. Probably from being in the closet for so long.
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Re: The urge to purge

Postby bound_jenny » 06 Nov 2013, 02:12

Marissa wrote:But for some crazy reason my mind always says to hide stuff.


Natural instinct - you're doing something naughty (but fun) and you don't want anyone else to find out. It's like hiding forbidden things from your Mom. Perfectly normal. :D

Jenny.
Helplessness is a doorway to the innermost reaches of the soul.
If my corset isn't tight, it just isn't right!
Kink is the spice of life!
Come to the Dark Side - we have cookies!
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Re: The urge to purge

Postby restricted » 17 Nov 2013, 20:41

I'm glad I'm not the only one. I suddenly stop and fight the need to put on a skirt and knickers. I had got to a state recently where I threw away all my pants except one pair for emergencies. Suddenly I stopped wanting to put a skirt on.

This varies in length of time. I once went for two years without slipping into a skirt. But gradually the idea crept back into my brain and suddenly I had to do it.

The problems are 1/ knickers keep my bum warmer and there's no chance of it hanging out of the fly front. Okay, sometimes it slips down the leg hole, but that is easily remedied by pushing it back.

2/ A skirt is infinitely more comfortable than trousers and don't make my legs sweat so much. There's also far more styles to wear.

3/ Without being rude, I can go into the back garden on a windy day and feel the skirt flapping around. Even if the knickers show, my tackle can't be seen. It's also nice to feel the fresh air up near my tackle.

So I can see me going back to wearing them full time again.
We have ways of making you happily suffer. You WILL enjoy yourself. That's an order.
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Re: The urge to purge

Postby Marissa » 19 Nov 2013, 23:42

I have decided to put everything away for the time being. I have also decided that I will buy things when I see a good price. Like tonight, I finally found a pair of high heeled boots for cheap at a goodwill. Cute, sexy, tight and the heels are not too high.
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Re: The urge to purge

Postby bound_jenny » 20 Nov 2013, 01:04

Wise decision! :D

Because when the urge to dress comes back (and it will), you'll be glad that you kept everything for that day.

Jenny.
Helplessness is a doorway to the innermost reaches of the soul.
If my corset isn't tight, it just isn't right!
Kink is the spice of life!
Come to the Dark Side - we have cookies!
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Re: The urge to purge

Postby riskyrewards » 04 Dec 2013, 09:15

I REALLY wish I had seen this about a month ago. Three days after the purge, all I could think about was that I shouldn't have done it. This is probably the third or fourth time now. Next time I'll come here for an intervention. :-)
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Re: The urge to purge

Postby Marissa » 05 Dec 2013, 02:23

The time when I dress again is not too far off :whip:
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Re: The urge to purge

Postby bobbi » 06 Dec 2013, 05:00

i am a huge packrat. the last time i felt like purging because i can't seem to ever throw anything away (unless its flat out broken (except for this one tv in the backroom which i think i can fix if i ever get my ass to radioshack to buy new caps)), all i really did was pack it up in a bunch of those giant rubermaid tote things and shove them in the back of a storage closet.

by the time regret set in, oh well fine ill just dig all that stuff back out. problem solved.

ever since i moved downtown though, i refuse to let myself do that. for whatever reasons that i feel like i want to purge or hide, i just stop and think "no, i don't care."
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Re: The urge to purge

Postby Alexandra Smith » 10 Feb 2018, 18:05

I have recently been thinking of stopping dressing altogether and getting rid of all of my feminine stuff, maid uniforms, schoolgirl out fits etc. I have thought long and hard about this as although my wife is quite happy for me to dress, she does not wish to participate in a FLM any longer. After reading the posts here, I have decided that it would probably be better to pack all of my goodies away and if and when the need arises, I will be able to resurrect my inner servant. Although that might be the better option, there is also the option of continuing to dress and go about the house, performing a better service and being the best maid that I can be, in the hope that my wife's inner bossiness and natural female superiority, may be reignited and she would again take charge and I can once again become her very happy maid/husband. What do you think? :?: :?: :?:

We have some very basic bondage equipment but she is no longer interested in tying up or being tide up. It really is frustrating. Any ideas how I can reignite things?
I was born to be a maid.
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Re: The urge to purge

Postby bound_jenny » 11 Feb 2018, 00:14

Alexandra Smith wrote:What do you think?


She's bored. That might be a passing situation, so purging is not a good idea if one day she's back up and dominating again. In that case, the wise decision would be to store your naughties and take a break, to let things settle. It might just be that the games you play are getting too routine.

But do tend to her. Put the romance back in the relationship - classic romance. Little things like the occasional flowers, a dinner here and there, moonlight walks, an evening cuddling, or just a compliment on her appearance, etc. Make her feel good about herself. That's just as much a part of being subservient to her as taking care of the chores in a maid's dress.

That's thing with us ladies - we like being appreciated, valued, for what we are, and even if some of us like to engage in kinky games, just plain romance is part of the basic needs.

jm2c,

Jenny.
Helplessness is a doorway to the innermost reaches of the soul.
If my corset isn't tight, it just isn't right!
Kink is the spice of life!
Come to the Dark Side - we have cookies!
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