My deviance is deeply rooted. I've experimented with just about everything throughout my adult life, and have have had some sort of fascination with bondage after seeing Star Trek's "The Gamesters of Triskelion" when I was about 10 years old. I can't explain my fascination with bondage, but it has played a large part in my sexual development.
I'm creative, and feel compelled to combine all of my interests in new and interesting ways: Software, electronics, mechanical devices, automobiles, sex, my Wife -- All of it. I've been writing software since I was 14 (long, long ago) and playing around with electronics since I was 20.
As I became more adulty, my focus shifted to building sex toys (computer controlled vibrators, fucking machines, porn crawlers, etc). I scoured porn sites for ideas. I spent my young-adulthood building various devices for my amusement. Often, my significant other (pre-wife) was either not interested in my kinks, or I kept them secret.
This lead to lots of things built in the garage while no one was home and then tucked away in various places that only I look. I made steel shackles for awhile. I worked at it long enough that I destroyed 2 bench vices in the process (they aren't for pressing, apparently).
My desires have always been pushed into the dark corners as undesired quirks of a damaged person. A fair amount of fear and anxiety keeps me indoors most days, and this has limited my contact with like-minded people (all of those I know are ex-girlfriends). I am a festering glob of shame and self loathing.
I got married a number of years ago and have tried (without success) to engage my wife in my kinks. This has not gone well. If I can to overcome my shame and blurt out what I want, it's usually met with an annoyed sigh and a sideways look of disapproval, then silence. For the longest time, I just tried to ignore my inner urges. This always just ends up being depressing.
Around the first of the year, I gave in. I found this forum and decided to build something that could make use all of those years of repressed ideas, desires, and broken promises. Knowing that I am the only person who can scratch my itch, I found this forum. And here I am.
Hello
- bound_jenny
- Moderator
- Posts: 10268
- Joined: 09 Dec 2007, 12:37
- Location: Montreal, Canada, Great Kinky North
Re: Hello
Welcome to the forum!
I'm sure you'll find what you want here. We have plenty of other programmers, electronics engineers and experimenters, and just plain creative and resourceful people who know how to make amazing toys and devices using what looks like banana peels and duct tape.
And lots and lots of fellow perverts.
Jenny.
I'm sure you'll find what you want here. We have plenty of other programmers, electronics engineers and experimenters, and just plain creative and resourceful people who know how to make amazing toys and devices using what looks like banana peels and duct tape.
And lots and lots of fellow perverts.
Jenny.
Helplessness is a doorway to the innermost reaches of the soul.
If my corset isn't tight, it just isn't right!
Kink is the spice of life!
Come to the Dark Side - we have cookies!
If my corset isn't tight, it just isn't right!
Kink is the spice of life!
Come to the Dark Side - we have cookies!
Re: Hello
Welcome!
There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.
The beatings will continue until morale improves.
Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons - for you are crunchy and good with ketchup.
The beatings will continue until morale improves.
Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons - for you are crunchy and good with ketchup.
Re: Hello
Welcome aboard,
But referring to your wife as an interest ?
This might be the root of some of your relationship problems.
But referring to your wife as an interest ?
This might be the root of some of your relationship problems.
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